Bridesmaid Dropped Out of Bachelorette Party Last Minute

Knottie1453782923

So my sister (MOH) has been planning my bachelorette party for the last 5 months and we are supposed to leave tomorrow for a weekend at Lake Travis in Austin, TX. My other bridesmaids have been involved in the planning from the beginning, discussing costs, activities and travel. I thought I was getting so lucky because all of my bridesmaids had agreed to go and have a fun weekend together. Then today I got a text from one of them saying she felt she couldn't go because her grandmother had died a year ago on Sunday and she needed to be with her family. I totally understand this sentiment, I just wish she had told me before. She offered to pay her share in the weekend, but I just feel super awkward with her doing that. I don't want the other girls coming to have to pay more because she dropped out. What is the right thing to do here?  

flantastic

Knottie1453782923 said:

So my sister (MOH) has been planning my bachelorette party for the last 5 months and we are supposed to leave tomorrow for a weekend at Lake Travis in Austin, TX. My other bridesmaids have been involved in the planning from the beginning, discussing costs, activities and travel. I thought I was getting so lucky because all of my bridesmaids had agreed to go and have a fun weekend together. Then today I got a text from one of them saying she felt she couldn't go because her grandmother had died a year ago on Sunday and she needed to be with her family. I totally understand this sentiment, I just wish she had told me before. She offered to pay her share in the weekend, but I just feel super awkward with her doing that. I don't want the other girls coming to have to pay more because she dropped out. What is the right thing to do here?  

Let her work it out with your sister, the host, and the other co-hosts (which the other BMs are, since they're paying). You don't need to be involved.

ei34

One of my sister's BMs dropped out of the BP last minute.  She told me though (i was the MOH), not my sister.  The other BM's and I just dealt with the repercussions of her absence. 

Jen4948

That's very sad.

I'd let her work it out with the other wedding party members, but I'd be willing to cover her share of the expenses if necessary under the circumstances. If that's not possible, then I'd be willing to forgo the weekend and accept whatever they can come up with, if anything, in lieu of the weekend.

levioosa

Yeah, stay out of it.  Let her discuss it with the party planner.  

STARMOON44

She offered to pay her share. Thank her, and let her do it. She should. She committed to it and no one else should have to pay more because she changed her mind. It's not awkward at all it is letting her do the right thing. 

SP29

I agree that if person A committed to paying X price, everything was planned, then person A backed out, person A should still cover their costs. Different if events/reservations can be cancelled without penalty, or nothing is set in stone yet, but it shouldn't be on the other attendees to cover person A's share.

Knottie1453782923

Thank you for all of your responses! I ended up letting my sister contact her. My mom also offered to cover half her expenses. Ironically and also very tragically, my grandmother died yesterday morning on the anniversary of her grandmothers death. So after a really fun weekend, I came home to learn that bit of news. Needless to say, it all seems a bit trivial now. 

geebee908

Knottie1453782923 said:

Thank you for all of your responses! I ended up letting my sister contact her. My mom also offered to cover half her expenses. Ironically and also very tragically, my grandmother died yesterday morning on the anniversary of her grandmothers death. So after a really fun weekend, I came home to learn that bit of news. Needless to say, it all seems a bit trivial now. 

So sorry to hear about your grandmother. T&P for you.

ei34

So sorry to hear about your grandmother OP.

spockforprez

Knottie1453782923 said:

Thank you for all of your responses! I ended up letting my sister contact her. My mom also offered to cover half her expenses. Ironically and also very tragically, my grandmother died yesterday morning on the anniversary of her grandmothers death. So after a really fun weekend, I came home to learn that bit of news. Needless to say, it all seems a bit trivial now. 

I often feel that way, after time has passed, about things that seem so overwhelming in the moment. I wish I could learn to see that beforehand! I'm truly sorry for the loss of your grandma... sending you hugs! 

SP29

Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother OP

Jen4948

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother.

Knottie1453782923

Thank you for all of your thoughts and condolences. It's been a hard few weeks. 

sparklepants41

Hugs for you, OP! I'm so sorry about the loss of your grandmother.