n.a

Knottie1451249778

n/a

ShesSoCold

Knottie1451249778 said:

How do you ask your guest not to record , the most important beautiful part of your wedding... " SAYING YOUR WEDDING VOWS ".

You don't.

levioosa

You don't. 

How many people do you think are going to be rushing to record and post on FB live anyways? I think it's the dumbest thing ever. 

SaintPaulGal

Yeah, you don't.  You aren't their mommy.  If they want to record something they can and will.  It's not like it takes anything away from you.  I doubt anyone would be interested in doing this, though.

Heffalump

I would tie them up when they arrive at the ceremony and then stuff them in a closet until it's over.

Just me?

[Deleted User]

I would be super unimpressed if someone recorded the ceremony to fb live. But this seems like a really unlikely thing to happen. Has someone specifically mentioned this? Why are you concerned? If someone told me they were planning to do this, I would talk to them about it before hand and ask them not to (whether that's rude or not, I don't know but fb live? Really? That's insane). 

cowgirl8238

I really hope that this is just another lazy troll...but just in case it isn't...

YOU DON'T!!!!

Or you can be super rude to everyone and make them put their damn cell phones in a basket before they are allowed to sit down.

southernbelle0915

Heffalump said:

I would tie them up when they arrive at the ceremony and then stuff them in a closet until it's over.

Just me?

This. It's the only way.

The only other way is a passive aggressive cute poem on a chalkboard.

ei34

Did a guest tell you they were doing this?  That'd be kind of weird, but if you're concerned about your fb friends seeing it, change your settings so that you have to approve tags and posts on your wall. 

sparklepants41

Heffalump said:

I would tie them up when they arrive at the ceremony and then stuff them in a closet until it's over.

Just me?

Or you could cut off their hands so they can't use their phones. Problem solved.

//end sarcasm.

Actually, OP there is no polite or proper way to do this because it's rude. 

MandyMost

I know people generally hate cutesy signs, but if you're really against anything wedding-related going on Facebook, I think you should first make sure that you're not posting about your wedding on Facebook. If someone is all over facebook about their wedding plans, I'm more likely to think they don't care about pics going up.

Then, I think a sign at the back of the ceremony space that says "We'd like to share our special day with just our closest friends and family--YOU! Please don't share our wedding with others on social media". 

But there's nothing you can do about it if people post. Just make sure your privacy settings are locked down so you can't be tagged in anything.

MeetTheLaras

I find this question odd.. I assume someone has mentioned to you that they'd like to do this? I'd first talk to that person. I highly doubt this is a systemic problem with wedding guests. 

But I guess I have a different opinion about phones at a wedding than other PPs. I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask all guests to silence and put away cell phones prior to the ceremony. I mean.. most people probably won't listen and will still use their phones for photos. But oh well. 

PrettyGirlLost

I don't understand why FB Live is even a thing.

How much more AW and narcissistic can we get ><

lyndausvi

PrettyGirlLost said:

I don't understand why FB Live is even a thing.

How much more AW and narcissistic can we get ><

This x100000000

[Deleted User]

Maybe get one of those cell phone signal blocker things so that no one has any reception in your ceremony location? (Mostly kidding) 

(I still think that if someone has actually said they are going to do this, then you should talk to them directly ahead of time. But if this is just a random worry of yours, I can't imagine this will be an issue). 

photokitty

You can't. But you can and SHOULD, lock down your Facebook settings so you have to approve all tags. That way it won't show up on your FB wall.

[Deleted User]

photokitty said:

You can't. But you can and SHOULD, lock down your Facebook settings so you have to approve all tags. That way it won't show up on your FB wall.

Obviously a good suggestion and one that is always given. But it's also not all that helpful or comforting to someone who shares many of the same fb friends as a guest if they post something to their wall. For example, guest A shares 60 friends with me, 10 of whom were at the wedding, and has maybe another 30 fb friends who knows me but isn't also my fb friend. If guest A posts photos or videos to their wall, 80 people who know me but weren't at the wedding will be able to see this even if I'm not tagged just because guest A decided to share it themselves. 

Of course, short of dictating how people should act, there's not much you can do about this. But this thought occurs to me every time the advice of "lock down your social media" is given because it doesn't seem that helpful. 

themosthappy91

Honest question- is it really considered rude to ask not to be recorded if you aren't comfortable being recorded? I sort of thought this was the kind of thing where you can't ask people not to take pictures of themselves at your wedding, but you can ask not to have pictures taken of you/posted to social media. 

I guess to me it's kind of a circumstance thing- I'd side eye someone who was asking not to be recorded but was paying for a videographer or otherwise frequently posted photos/videos of themselves to FB... but if someone doesn't like to be in photos or videos/likes to avoid being on social media in general I wouldn't personally find the request to be rude.

MesmrEwe

PrettyGirlLost said:

I don't understand why FB Live is even a thing.

How much more AW and narcissistic can we get ><

For the relative that is three hours or states away and cannot afford to come or has another family commitment in the day and unable to attend but able to watch FB Live during the time of the ceremony...  We've done this (not for a wedding, but different event) and it wasn't narcissistic at all - the only thing you can request OP is if someone asks you ahead that it be "Friends only" for privacy settings. 

kimmiinthemitten

Knottie1451249778 said:

How do you ask your guest not to record , the most important beautiful part of your wedding... " SAYING YOUR WEDDING VOWS ".

So are you okay with them recording the rest of the ceremony just not the vows?  What about the reception?  Are all spotlight dances okay or are some off limits?

While I do think this *could* be odd, I find your distinction toward the vows even odder. Isn't that a bit like asking someone to stop the camera right before you walk on stage at graduation?

If you specifically do not want your ceremony recorded and/or streamed live, that's totally fine. But if it was going to be, wouldn't you want to make sure the most important part was captured?

[Deleted User]

MesmrEwe said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I don't understand why FB Live is even a thing.

How much more AW and narcissistic can we get ><

For the relative that is three hours or states away and cannot afford to come or has another family commitment in the day and unable to attend but able to watch FB Live during the time of the ceremony...  We've done this (not for a wedding, but different event) and it wasn't narcissistic at all - the only thing you can request OP is if someone asks you ahead that it be "Friends only" for privacy settings. 

Don't disagree with you in theory, but presumably in your example above the bride and groom would want it recorded and ask someone to do it for them, instead of a guest forcing it upon them. 

photokitty

Ironring said:

photokitty said:

You can't. But you can and SHOULD, lock down your Facebook settings so you have to approve all tags. That way it won't show up on your FB wall.

Obviously a good suggestion and one that is always given. But it's also not all that helpful or comforting to someone who shares many of the same fb friends as a guest if they post something to their wall. For example, guest A shares 60 friends with me, 10 of whom were at the wedding, and has maybe another 30 fb friends who knows me but isn't also my fb friend. If guest A posts photos or videos to their wall, 80 people who know me but weren't at the wedding will be able to see this even if I'm not tagged just because guest A decided to share it themselves. 

Of course, short of dictating how people should act, there's not much you can do about this. But this thought occurs to me every time the advice of "lock down your social media" is given because it doesn't seem that helpful. 

It's not a given, based on how many people post publicly and have no idea they're doing. A stranger can post of photo of you online and result in a similar effect. I guess wearing a paper bag on your head is the best advice.

There's really no helpful advice when the advice an OP seeks is rude. If that's not the case, see my first statement - You can't. That's about as helpful add it gets without being rude and over bearing.

charlotte989875

I actually thing that if someone asks you, or tells you prior to your wedding that they want to stream your vows you absolutely can tell them you'd really prefer that they don't do it. 

However, a blanket statement to all of your guests at the ceremony is rude. 

SP29

themosthappy91 said:

Honest question- is it really considered rude to ask not to be recorded if you aren't comfortable being recorded? I sort of thought this was the kind of thing where you can't ask people not to take pictures of themselves at your wedding, but you can ask not to have pictures taken of you/posted to social media. 

Agree with you here.

I think what other posters are saying, is that if someone is going to do this anyway without telling you, there isn't much you can do, beyond a private ceremony. Someone can snap a photo or video of you at any time in your life and you may not know about it.

But I think if someone brings it up or asks, "Do you want me to record your ceremony for you?" you can be very clear that NO, you are not comfortable with this. Likewise, I think if a someone posts a video of you on FB that you don't approve you, you could contact that person directly and ask that they take it down, as you are not comfortable with it being online for all to see.

I have a friend who keeps a very low profile in general- for good reason. She has a FB account, but it's under an alias. She has all her privacy settings on, and has limited "friends". She also tells all her friends when she adds them that she does not want people posting photos of her or using her real name.

CharmedPam

what @photokitty said.   But my tags have always been on that setting.

flantastic

Ironring said:

photokitty said:

You can't. But you can and SHOULD, lock down your Facebook settings so you have to approve all tags. That way it won't show up on your FB wall.

Obviously a good suggestion and one that is always given. But it's also not all that helpful or comforting to someone who shares many of the same fb friends as a guest if they post something to their wall. For example, guest A shares 60 friends with me, 10 of whom were at the wedding, and has maybe another 30 fb friends who knows me but isn't also my fb friend. If guest A posts photos or videos to their wall, 80 people who know me but weren't at the wedding will be able to see this even if I'm not tagged just because guest A decided to share it themselves. 

Of course, short of dictating how people should act, there's not much you can do about this. But this thought occurs to me every time the advice of "lock down your social media" is given because it doesn't seem that helpful. 

Agreed. That was the obnoxious thing to me - not many people are specifically going to each other's Facebook walls anymore anyway, and the tag will still show up in the newsfeeds of mutual friends. So while I have that tag approval setting, I find it virtually useless. You really can't control much of others' social media choices.

simplylaurel

We had a Catholic wedding, so our officiant asked the guests to not use their phones or cameras during the ceremony as a sign of reverence. We didn't have any restrictions on the reception, though, and a couple guests did Facebook Live the first dance, etc. without asking. It wasn't a big deal, though, nobody minded.