Etiquette

Plus ones for wedding party

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Re: Plus ones for wedding party

  • edited October 2016

  • I understand. I had a small wedding - 31 guests.

    Had I only invited people I knew personally, I would have excluded my husband's grandmother.

    Had I invited partners I approved of and exceeded six months only, I would have excluded the best man's now wife.

    Had I assumed no one would care if they were not given a guest, my own grandmother wouldn't have come.


    My point is that just because it's your wedding day, you don't get to treat people like shit.

    And you can pretend not to care what your single friends do, but your posts reek of judgment and it's disgusting. Obviously you think you're better than them, but the least you could do is pretend not to be so superior and arrogant and give them a damn guest if they want.


    She's inviting all her friends in relationships. Her definition of "serious" is "my friend told me it's their significant other". This is the same as TKs. She is not allowing her single guests to have plus ones. If a friend really wants to bring a plus one, they can call her and explain. Can we let this go without calling her a terrible person who hates her friends?
    STARMOON44[Deleted User]ShesSoColdsimplylaurel
  • edited October 2016
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member


    I understand. I had a small wedding - 31 guests.

    Had I only invited people I knew personally, I would have excluded my husband's grandmother.

    Had I invited partners I approved of and exceeded six months only, I would have excluded the best man's now wife.

    Had I assumed no one would care if they were not given a guest, my own grandmother wouldn't have come.


    My point is that just because it's your wedding day, you don't get to treat people like shit.

    And you can pretend not to care what your single friends do, but your posts reek of judgment and it's disgusting. Obviously you think you're better than them, but the least you could do is pretend not to be so superior and arrogant and give them a damn guest if they want.


    She's inviting all her friends in relationships. Her definition of "serious" is "my friend told me it's their significant other". This is the same as TKs. She is not allowing her single guests to have plus ones. If a friend really wants to bring a plus one, they can call her and explain. Can we let this go without calling her a terrible person who hates her friends?
    It just took a long time to get here. We can only respond to what she says, and she has also said she's drawing a line for plus ones, disapproves of friends sleeping around or spending their weekends on tinder.  Had she just put it the way you did, she wouldn't have gotten any flack 
    image
    cowgirl8238HeffalumpPrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueens
  • edited October 2016
  • edited October 2016
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited October 2016
    I get what you are saying LauraLynn, someone who sleeps around casually is not in a relationship- but you'll notice PPs said anyone in a relationship should be invited regardless of length of time, they didn't tell you that you had to let your friends bring their latest fuck buddy.

    But you are in the wrong for saying "only long term relationships" and defining that as 6 months- that is not for you to decide. I would hope with inviting 26 guests you'd have a good idea if your friends/family are in a relationship- if not, ASK!

    Here are the questions @eileenrob you can tell me if you approve

    1. How long have you been together? 

    2. How did you first meet?

    3. Is Laura changing her last name? 

    4.  How many people will be at the wedding? Does this matter? I think not. Your guests don't need to know this.

    5.  Who is in the wedding party?

    6. Can I bring a guest to the wedding? Remove this. Anyone in a relationship should already be invited with their SO.

    7. What should I wear? Remove this. Let people be adults and dress themselves. Unless your wedding is a true black tie event, there is no dress code. By all means, if there are special considerations, such as any portion of your wedding is outdoors, tell them that- but focus it on the venue "The ceremony will be outside" or "The ceremony will be on grass", not "you should wear a suit because it will be warmer" or "so don't wear heels!".


    PrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueens
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member

    Here are the questions @eileenrob you can tell me if you approve

    1. How long have you been together? 

    2. How did you first meet?

    3. Is Laura changing her last name? 

    4.  How many people will be at the wedding? 

    5.  Who is in the wedding party?

    6. Can I bring a guest to the wedding?

    7. What should I wear?

    Yeah...#6 and #7 are not appropriate questions.  You invite all significant others, regardless of length of relationship. Period.  SO and I were serious from the moment we agreed to date.  We're still together almost four years later.  

    Question 7: You don't get to dictate what anyone wears.  The only time you can indicate attire is black tie (true black tie--BTO is not a thing), and if the venue itself has requirements (men must wear ties, etc).  Unless you are telling people there might be grass, or some other description of the venue, it's inappropriate.  


    image
    cowgirl8238PrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueens
  • @levioosa I am not going back to defending the significant other question. For the what should I wear question, the answer says its semi-formal. 
  • I'm done with you all. Your opinions are not needed. I started out answering a question someone else posted and this ended up being a personal attack on me. Enjoy your weddings.This is all a bunch of bullshit that is too stressful.You all make me not want to have a wedding at all. :(  
  • I approve of some but not all of the questions.  As a guest reading a FAQ page I really need to know details pertaining to logistics- is your venue on some sort of terrain that I can't wear heels?  Is there a parking lot that I have to pay for (and is it cash only)?  Is the ceremony in a place of worship with a certain dress code?  Etc.

    cowgirl8238
  • @levioosa I am not going back to defending the significant other question. For the what should I wear question, the answer says its semi-formal. 
    Semi-formal isn't a thing. A wedding is formal (which has clear rules and guidelines outside of fashion) and not formal. 
    image
    PrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueens
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Ah, the Speshul Snowflake Delete.  


    image
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    mod


    I understand. I had a small wedding - 31 guests.

    Had I only invited people I knew personally, I would have excluded my husband's grandmother.

    Had I invited partners I approved of and exceeded six months only, I would have excluded the best man's now wife.

    Had I assumed no one would care if they were not given a guest, my own grandmother wouldn't have come.


    My point is that just because it's your wedding day, you don't get to treat people like shit.

    And you can pretend not to care what your single friends do, but your posts reek of judgment and it's disgusting. Obviously you think you're better than them, but the least you could do is pretend not to be so superior and arrogant and give them a damn guest if they want.


    She's inviting all her friends in relationships. Her definition of "serious" is "my friend told me it's their significant other". This is the same as TKs. She is not allowing her single guests to have plus ones. If a friend really wants to bring a plus one, they can call her and explain. Can we let this go without calling her a terrible person who hates her friends?
    I wrote that post before I saw that she wasn't excluding partners. But I still stand by my point about the judgement of her friends' personal lives.


    I understand. I had a small wedding - 31 guests.

    Had I only invited people I knew personally, I would have excluded my husband's grandmother.

    Had I invited partners I approved of and exceeded six months only, I would have excluded the best man's now wife.

    Had I assumed no one would care if they were not given a guest, my own grandmother wouldn't have come.


    My point is that just because it's your wedding day, you don't get to treat people like shit.

    And you can pretend not to care what your single friends do, but your posts reek of judgment and it's disgusting. Obviously you think you're better than them, but the least you could do is pretend not to be so superior and arrogant and give them a damn guest if they want.


    She's inviting all her friends in relationships. Her definition of "serious" is "my friend told me it's their significant other". This is the same as TKs. She is not allowing her single guests to have plus ones. If a friend really wants to bring a plus one, they can call her and explain. Can we let this go without calling her a terrible person who hates her friends?
    It just took a long time to get here. We can only respond to what she says, and she has also said she's drawing a line for plus ones, disapproves of friends sleeping around or spending their weekends on tinder.  Had she just put it the way you did, she wouldn't have gotten any flack 
    And SO MUCH THIS.

    If I said that I was only inviting white people who made over $50,000 per year to my wedding, and gave no further details, I would hope TK would have quite a bit to say about that and chew out my ass. It's purely coincidence that this was true but the way things are presented is important, IMHO.
    image
    kimmiinthemittenInLoveInQueenscowgirl8238PrettyGirlLost
  • Sherbie25Sherbie25
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited October 2016


    I understand. I had a small wedding - 31 guests.

    Had I only invited people I knew personally, I would have excluded my husband's grandmother.

    Had I invited partners I approved of and exceeded six months only, I would have excluded the best man's now wife.

    Had I assumed no one would care if they were not given a guest, my own grandmother wouldn't have come.


    My point is that just because it's your wedding day, you don't get to treat people like shit.

    And you can pretend not to care what your single friends do, but your posts reek of judgment and it's disgusting. Obviously you think you're better than them, but the least you could do is pretend not to be so superior and arrogant and give them a damn guest if they want.


    She's inviting all her friends in relationships. Her definition of "serious" is "my friend told me it's their significant other". This is the same as TKs. She is not allowing her single guests to have plus ones. If a friend really wants to bring a plus one, they can call her and explain. Can we let this go without calling her a terrible person who hates her friends?
    **Removed for TOU violation**
    Wedding Countdown Ticker





    MyNameIsNot
  • Sorry but I have several friends that sleep around and I'm not dropping money on whoever they may be banging when they get the invite. 6 months or longer is what I consider long term. 

    Does anyone else have this stuck in their head?


    redwoodoriginalMCmeowlovesclimbingahoywedding
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    Sorry but I have several friends that sleep around and I'm not dropping money on whoever they may be banging when they get the invite. 6 months or longer is what I consider long term. 

    Does anyone else have this stuck in their head?


    That gif is wrong! There are one to many bangs between the two bangedys. 















    (What does it say about me that I know this?)

    ahoywedding
  • Sorry but I have several friends that sleep around and I'm not dropping money on whoever they may be banging when they get the invite. 6 months or longer is what I consider long term. 

    Does anyone else have this stuck in their head?


    That gif is wrong! There are one to many bangs between the two bangedys. 















    (What does it say about me that I know this?)
    I'm ashamed because I should have caught that.

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