Etiquette

Is a wedding website RSVP confusing?

hi all,
long time lurker from years and years ago, now planning a wedding for october next year!

i'm making a wedding website and it comes with an option to upload your guest list and have them RSVP online. is there any value to this, thinking some people will RSVP after receiving the save the date, allowing you to at least get a start on head count?
i'm wondering if people would ultimately get confused...RSVP online and not RSVP after receiving the formal invitation, or vice versa. it would be helpful to know beforehand a "Regrets only" kind of deal, but i dont want to have to request someone to RSVP twice - once online and once with the invitation.

thoughts?

Re: Is a wedding website RSVP confusing?

  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
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    Offer both the online and mail return options. If you get one in the mail, you can update the online list. It shouldn't be that hard for you to figure out if you get duplicate RSVPs.
    OurWildKingdom
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    megtownxx said:
    hi all,
    long time lurker from years and years ago, now planning a wedding for october next year!

    i'm making a wedding website and it comes with an option to upload your guest list and have them RSVP online. is there any value to this, thinking some people will RSVP after receiving the save the date, allowing you to at least get a start on head count?
    i'm wondering if people would ultimately get confused...RSVP online and not RSVP after receiving the formal invitation, or vice versa. it would be helpful to know beforehand a "Regrets only" kind of deal, but i dont want to have to request someone to RSVP twice - once online and once with the invitation.

    thoughts?
    Don't request a double RSVP. People will reach out to you when they get the save the date to say "Oh shucks, that's our annual vacation, I'm bummed" or "OMG I'm so excited!" but it won't be a ton, and everyone else would be confused by an RSVP request on a save the date, wondering if it's actually their invite.

    You can't really estimate head count. Plan for 100% attendance of those you invite, and you need to send an invitation to everyone who receives a save the date - because their plans for annual vacation might change and they'll want to come to your wedding by the time invites go out.

    To me, the benefit of an online RSVP (in the invitation phase) is just as an option of convenience for your guests - online RSVPs for the internet savvy, and a paper option for those who aren't. 

    Anniversary

    geebee908InLoveInQueensOurWildKingdomcharlotte989875
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    Don't request a double RSVP. People will reach out to you when they get the save the date to say "Oh shucks, that's our annual vacation, I'm bummed" or "OMG I'm so excited!" but it won't be a ton, and everyone else would be confused by an RSVP request on a save the date, wondering if it's actually their invite.

    You can't really estimate head count. Plan for 100% attendance of those you invite, and you need to send an invitation to everyone who receives a save the date - because their plans for annual vacation might change and they'll want to come to your wedding by the time invites go out.

    To me, the benefit of an online RSVP (in the invitation phase) is just as an option of convenience for your guests - online RSVPs for the internet savvy, and a paper option for those who aren't. 
    Totally missed the part about RSVPing per STDs. People aren't expected to RSVP from the STD megtown. I wouldn't even put your wedding website on the STD. Regardless of if someone tells you they can't make it after getting a STD, you need to send them an invitation anyway.
  • Good good, thanks all!
  • We have a website with appycouple and gave guests the choice to rsvp on the site, via email, or via mail. Honestly, majority of guests used the postcard anyway and I don't think that many people have even looked at the website. I'd give them some options.

    If you are using appycouple one word of advice about uploading - there is a knack that I did not master. When we did it from excel no one could log themselves into our site, it took me ages to work out that there must have been a space at the end of each persons name or something. We ended up having to input the list manually anyway  :/
                 
  • Agree with PPs. No need for an RSVP with the STD. After my invitations went out, I had added the RSVP option to my website. Not many people used it. I don't think most people even looked at the website. But I still had fun making it. 
  • edited September 2016
    I'm doing email and website officially. Some people have also called or texted their rsvps. I used wedding wire for my website and found the RSVP system very easy to use. 
    I would keep it as an option to RSVP, but turn it off for the time being until invitations go out and you get the real rsvps. 
  • Give your guests two options to RSVP (on your formal invitation). Wedding website is fine though. Some of our guests used ours, I would say most still returned the paper RSVP.

    I think it is more than fine to include your wedding website on your STD. Particularly if guests are traveling, they can start to look up hotels or events around the area. Do not specifically require an RSVP though- your RSVP date is sent with your invitations.

    DH and I are invited to a friend's wedding in Hawaii next summer, we have received a STD. It includes their wedding website, but also states "formal invitation to follow". There is an option to RSVP on the website, but we have not yet because we just don't know, and I know not to feel pressured to RSVP yet anyway- I'm waiting for my formal invite. The link to the website is nice though, they provided some good information on this to do in the area and hotel recommendations so I've quickly looked a couple of things up, namely can we actually afford the trip. I'll look at it again much closer to the date.
    DrillSergeantCat
  • all your experiences are very helpful, especially about what worked and what didnt work for doing online RSVPs for your formal invitations.

    i definitely feel the need to put our website on our STDs - our wedding is a destination wedding of sorts (no guests live near the city we're getting married in), so id like to give them hotel information etc. via our website as soon as possible.
    DrillSergeantCat
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    I also used weddingwire and found the RSVP to be pretty easy. I didn't offer people the opportunity to mail their cards in, only online. My MIL didn't use it because she just refuses to RSVP any way except to me (she did this for the baby shower, bridal shower, and wedding), my mom put in her married name (Mrs. Husbandsname Lastname) and that's not how she was listed, I only had about 5 of the 40 invitations I sent actually RSVP. I ended up personally contacting most of my invitees.
  • SP29 said:
    Give your guests two options to RSVP (on your formal invitation). Wedding website is fine though. Some of our guests used ours, I would say most still returned the paper RSVP.

    I think it is more than fine to include your wedding website on your STD. Particularly if guests are traveling, they can start to look up hotels or events around the area. Do not specifically require an RSVP though- your RSVP date is sent with your invitations.
    I agree with the above.  I would send out STDs to anyone who is not local (not everyone has to get one) that includes the website.  You could even include the "formal invite to follow" line if you wish.  Then once the actual invite go out, provide an option to RSVP via a card or online, or however you prefer. I will say that most people in my circle would NOT RSVP online but would generally return the pre-filled card, so this may be a touch of "know your crowd".
    SP29OurWildKingdom
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