Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Honoring my deceased pappaw

my pappaw was a major part of mine and my dads life he passed in 2012. I want to do something special to honor him. I plan to have his seat reserved but I would like to hear other people advice also. I thought about when dad walks me down the aisle us both carrying a rose and putting it on pappaws chair before he gives me away. Is that ok to do? 

Answers

  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    I wore my dad's wedding ring on a bracelet and a dear friend gave me a charm with my dad's picture in it that was tied around my bouquet. Very few people knew it was there and that's how it should be. I can be sad that my dad wasn't there, but I didn't want people focusing on the fact that he wasn't. 

    At the reception, we had pictures of our dads (my DH's has passed also) on display but no cutesy saying about missing them or whatnot.
    SP29ILoveBeachMusiccowgirl8238
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    Honestly, I tend to think things like this aren't appropriate at weddings. This is a celebration, and doing something like this will most likely just make a lot of people sad. 

    I carried a locket with my grandfather's picture on my bouquet. I had my photographer take a picture of it for me. That's it. 

    CMGragainSP29InLoveInQueenscowgirl8238
  • Honestly, I tend to think things like this aren't appropriate at weddings. This is a celebration, and doing something like this will most likely just make a lot of people sad. 

    I carried a locket with my grandfather's picture on my bouquet. I had my photographer take a picture of it for me. That's it. 
    This.

    I get it.   When we go through major life occasions it's human nature to reflect on who you wish could attend.

    However to start to turn your wedding or any other celebratory event into a memorial for those who can't be there takes away from the occasion itself.   

    I'd opt for holding something sentimental or having a photo locket put into your bouquet.   
    SP29
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    There are many posts on The Knot regarding ways to remember loved ones on your wedding day.  The consensus is to be subtle in the way to keep someone in your heart on your wedding day.

    Incorporate a favorite flower or color in your theme and decor.  Play a favorite upbeat song during your reception.  Incorporate a favorite food or beverage into your menu.  If you have any clothing, sew a piece into your wedding dress, or wrap something around your bouquet.
    SP29
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited October 2016
    my pappaw was a major part of mine and my dads life he passed in 2012. I want to do something special to honor him. I plan to have his seat reserved but I would like to hear other people advice also. I thought about when dad walks me down the aisle us both carrying a rose and putting it on pappaws chair before he gives me away. Is that ok to do? 
    Please do not do either of these things at your wedding ceremony.  Your wedding is a joyous celebration, not a memorial service.  Any public display that emphasizes your loss in not appropriate at a wedding.
    I had my grandmother privately place a flower from my bouquet on Dad's grave after the wedding.  No one knew except the two of us.  The other posters' suggestions about carrying a private memento are good.
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    SP29InLoveInQueenscowgirl8238
  • Play his favourite song at the reception.

    Carry a picture of him in a locket you wear, or a charm on your bouquet or bracelet.
    downtondivaCMGragaincowgirl8238
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    As PPs have mentioned, any memorial gestures for your grandfather should be subtle so as not to evoke grief and loss, as those are not appropriate emotions for a wedding.

    You can wear or carry something your grandfather owned or that was associated with him; you can provide food, drinks, decorations, or entertainment he would have enjoyed; you can give him a tribute in a wedding program if you will have one, and you can say appropriate prayers if your ceremony is religious. 

    But anything that comes off as a sequel to a funeral, including reserved seats with flowers on them, should be avoided.
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