Wedding Party

My 7 Year Old Nephew

My first post ever on these forums was about what my nephew could do in the wedding. I had mentioned that my nephew said he didn't think he'd be comfortable to go down the aisle or read in front of everyone (he is 7). Everyone told me he doesn't need a job and I came to see the light that he would probably enjoy getting just a boutonniere and spending the day there. 

NOW, my nephew is asking me what he can do for the wedding and he is excited. I would love to include him, especially now that I know he is wanting to do it. What can be something simple that isn't a chore or a "job" that doesn't honor our relationship. I thought about letting him pass out programs or checking on people (Does the pianist need water? Is FI ready?). He isn't so shy that he won't talk to people or strangers, I just know that he didn't want to walk down the aisle or speak to a large group. Hope that makes sense. It's being watched by everyone he doesn't like, not talking to people.

I know the best thing to do is just ask what he would like to do, but I want to have a few things for him to choose from. If he doesn't like anything on the list, no, I don't intend to force him to do anything. Any ideas? Something someone in your family wanted to do for you?

I reiterate, I won't force him to do anything and I DO want him to be involved as long as he does. It won't bother me if he changes his mind at the last minute or anything. 

Re: My 7 Year Old Nephew

  • What about getting ready for the last 30 minutes with the 'boys', getting a bout like all the wedding party members and then sitting with his parents? He is 'helping' by being part of the group.
    k&n62517kimmiinthemittenrandomslove
  • ernursej said:
    What about getting ready for the last 30 minutes with the 'boys', getting a bout like all the wedding party members and then sitting with his parents? He is 'helping' by being part of the group.
    If I'm reading correctly (/assuming) its the bride's nephew. I know my H would not have wanted to babysit a 7 year old on his wedding day- 30 minutes or not. 

    I would get him a bout and make sure the photographer gets some special picturezs of you and your nephew, you, H and nephew etc.


    charlotte989875k&n62517InLoveInQueenslizybeff
  • I would see no problem with him handing out programs if he's asking to do something. Yes, it's not really a job that "needs" to be done, but if he wants to do it, and is asking to do something, I really don't see the problem with that. If he decides at the last minute he'd rather just hang out then no harm, no foul. 
    k&n62517Heffalumpkimmiinthemitten
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    I had my little cousins (who were about 9 and 10 at the time) escort moms and grandmas down the aisle. It wouldn't work if the grandma actually needs help, but usher seems a lot better than watering the pianist. 
    short+sassy
  • @MyNameIsNot
    Thanks for your suggestion. 
  • lnixon8 said:
    ernursej said:
    What about getting ready for the last 30 minutes with the 'boys', getting a bout like all the wedding party members and then sitting with his parents? He is 'helping' by being part of the group.
    If I'm reading correctly (/assuming) its the bride's nephew. I know my H would not have wanted to babysit a 7 year old on his wedding day- 30 minutes or not. 

    I would get him a bout and make sure the photographer gets some special picturezs of you and your nephew, you, H and nephew etc.

    This never even occurred to me as an issue. I suppose that certain children would have to be closely supervised but I've been in many wedding parties with very young party members that joined in for the last little while. I don't remember it being a big deal and having to supervise.

  • I suppose it depends on the individual child. I'm a teacher and I can definitely say there are some kids who I believe could almost survive on their own (if money weren't an issue) and then there are some who can't be trusted to even go to the bathroom alone. I love kids and all of them are great, but for sure, it depends on the kid himself for if they need to be closely watched. MY nephew, fortunately, adores his aunt and uncle so he listens to us no matter what. 
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    k&n62517 said:
    Thanks all! My nephew is VERY close to my fiance, so I don't think that would be a problem to have him around. He's been in his life for 6 of his 7 years. I'm just concerned about policing his friends' language and conversation topics! I don't trust that group of men to be appropriate in the presence of a kid nor should they really have to.

    I like the idea though so maybe more like 10 minutes instead of 30 and getting to be in some of the boy pictures would make him feel special. 
    I love these two ideas.  They give him a way to be included without dumbing it down because he's the kid.
    image
    k&n62517
  • I love the idea of having him hang out with "the boys" before, and escorting some of the VIPs down the aisle (if he's comfortable!). A friend had her dad's girlfriend's young son (maybe he was 10ish?) hand out programs & waterbottles before the ceremony and then flip flops during the reception. I think the whole idea of "here are your flip flop dancing shoes" is a little silly, but if it's in your budget and he'd get a kick out of it, it's not the worst thing. 
    k&n62517
  • My fiance loved the idea of having him come back to his dressing area to hang out for a little bit. I'll see my nephew in a few weekends and now I have lots of options for him!
    short+sassyILoveBeachMusiccowgirl8238
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