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Attire and Accessories

Can't decide on a dress

I'm wanting to know if the feeling of 'this is my dress' is real. Because I've tried on about 20 dresses, I've been shopping with my mum, and also a second time with a friend and I also hit up department stores on my own to see if any not bridal brands might have something that could work. 
Some were clearly not me and they were out and some I've really liked but I'm not having that 'all other dresses are dead to me' sensation so I wanted to know if its a real thing. My sister had her dress made when she got married as did my best friend so they can't relate. I went with another friend this year - but she was super short on time so we only visited two stores and picked from the styles that worked for her - she looked great. But she didn't seem to have that moment ether.

I'm also not super blocked on budget - we saves a stack on our venue so I've got extra to spend on the dress and this might have made it even more difficult because I've tried on so many now.

Help- how did you do it?

Re: Can't decide on a dress

  • I'm wanting to know if the feeling of 'this is my dress' is real. Because I've tried on about 20 dresses, I've been shopping with my mum, and also a second time with a friend and I also hit up department stores on my own to see if any not bridal brands might have something that could work. 
    Some were clearly not me and they were out and some I've really liked but I'm not having that 'all other dresses are dead to me' sensation so I wanted to know if its a real thing. My sister had her dress made when she got married as did my best friend so they can't relate. I went with another friend this year - but she was super short on time so we only visited two stores and picked from the styles that worked for her - she looked great. But she didn't seem to have that moment ether.

    I'm also not super blocked on budget - we saves a stack on our venue so I've got extra to spend on the dress and this might have made it even more difficult because I've tried on so many now.

    Help- how did you do it?
    Not everyone has that feeling. For me it wasn't "all other dresses are dead to me" it was more like "this makes me feel great, I could wear it on my wedding day". I'm sure there would have been other great dresses, but that was good enough for me. 

    Maybe start art by narrowing things down a bit. I knew I didn't want a ball gown, or strapless, or too much "bling". What things are your style? What style of wedding are you having (formal, beach, garden)? Anything that you love or hate?

    Finally, don't put too much stress on having that "feeling" maybe people do but I think far more actually don't. 
    cowgirl8238downtondivaOurWildKingdom
  • Just because you have the extra money in your budget doesn't mean that you NEED to spend it!  It's nice to have money later on to replace a water heater unexpectedly or repair a vehicle or make a bigger down payment on a house.  Or for that matter, upgrade something else with the wedding and pay for the nickels and dimes of the process (remember to factor in things like a crinoline, long-line bra, shoes, and most expensive of all, alterations)...  So really, stick with your original budget.  

    If this was a week before your wedding then I'd say you can stress out, but it's not, relax, you haven't found the right dress yet, NBD.  Not every bride has that "SYTTD feeling" - that's fantasy land on TV, not the real world.  Do some brides get that feeling, yes, but not all do.  There'll come a dress that you try on that you look in the mirror and say "I could get married in this!  I like this dress a lot!", but it's o.k. to not feel that and most of all, do not "settle" for a "this is o.k. but I'm not entirely sold on it" because that's what leads to purchasing a second dress and busting any money you might have previously saved.  Most of all, if you have to "sell" yourself on wearing it, it's not the dress for you!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I didn't have an all out bawling moment, but I did really like the dress I found.  I would sit down and think about the dresses you did try on.  What did you like about them, what didn't you like.  Go into your next appointment armed with that knowledge.  The consultants will be able to guide you better if you say you like/don't like certain things.

    If you find a dress that you like (in your budget!) than stop looking.  There will always be other dresses that look great on you, but constantly looking at dresses is the best way to get "dress regret".  I would also advise that you save that extra money for a rainy day.  While I don't regret my wedding at all, I do wish I would have spent a little less and saved more for my home and the bazillion things that need to be done.

  • I never looked in the mirror and sobbed. Or got flooded with emotion. Or whatever. But I'm also not the kind of girl who always dreamed of a pretty princess wedding or had my wedding dreams laid out from the age of 5. Know what I mean? 

    What mattered to me is that 1) the dress had straps of some kind 2) it didn't look like a cupcake or a skin tight tube with a puff at the bottom and 3) that it was comfortable enough to wear outside and to dance in. I narrowed it down to two and the deciding factor was that one made my thighs feel too hot. How's that for a "moment"?
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Think about times that you have felt great when dressed up. What did you love about it? Was it the silhouette of the dress? The neckline? The amazing accessories? The fabric? Go from there. It's all about you feeling confident and fabulous. 

    Most people don't have an epiphany moment. It's ok! 

    I also know people that purchased more simple dresses because they had tearful moments with jewellery or their veils, and wanted that to be the star. 

    Clear at out of your mind what you think you should have- what do you feel confident in? 


    charlotte989875OurWildKingdomcowgirl8238
  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2016
    I absolutely loved my wedding dress, but I did not have that weepy, emotional "say yes to the dress" moment when I picked it out. I don't think most women do, to be honest - that stuff you see on TV is all about getting attention and playing into stereotypes about what matters to women. While you should certainly not settle for a dress you aren't crazy about, you also shouldn't expect some magical, angels-singing moment when you find the right one. 

    I recommend that before you go shopping again, you look at dresses online (even if you have in the past) and try to get a better idea of what you do and don't want in a dress. This may help you be more selective and more confident in what you try on, rather than everything that's suggested to you whether it makes sense or not. And remember, the key is whether the dress looks good and makes you feel good, not whether it makes you cry with excitement.
    image
    charlotte989875
  • I loved my dress but would have been happy with other ones too if I could not get it. Like others have said, I liked how it looked, felt good in it and could see myself getting married in the dress. The ahh haa moment happened with the guy.
    charlotte989875cowgirl8238
  • I think I maybe tried on too many and a bunch of them felt and looked good and now I've seen too many options.

    I think I know what I'm going to do I just emailed the designer to see if they can make it with better lining (it was kinda see through which isn't what you want!) 
    So hopefully it will work out. 

    It helped to hear that everyone else kinda had the same this is nice and it it will be ok other than a this it it kind of feeling.

    Thanks guys!!
    charlotte989875
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2016
    I also did not have a "moment". But I'm also not a super emotional person, so that just isn't me. I bought the dress after one appointment, same day.

    I looked for a long time online and found several dresses that I liked- there was usually something in common with them that I liked, so I focused on that. When I went into the bridal store, I had a list of dresses I wanted to try. I also had a firm budget in mind. I knew the budget I set for myself would not allow me to buy my dream dress, so I settled myself that I was not getting *that*, and a dress that made me look good would be enough.

    Just because you *can* spend more money doesn't mean you need to. Use that money towards your house. Sometimes I do think about what if I spent a bit more money and had the beautiful lace dress I always dreamed of... but then I think that is silly. Then I'd have a $3000 dress hanging in my closet doing nothing instead of a $550 dress hanging there doing nothing.

    I would try on one dress, then decide yay or nay. If I said "yay", I'd compare it to the next "yay" dress- do I like this dress better than the last one? If so, that dress stayed, the other dress went back to the rack. I narrowed it down to 2 dresses, then hemmed and hawwed for awhile, tried them both on twice, then just made a decision and it was firm.
    cowgirl8238
  • Hey  thanks for the advice.

    I understand what people are saying about money - We are normally quite tight with money. But we already own our apartment (we live in Paris so houses aren't a thing) and we've budgeted for both the wedding and the honey moon. So i'm not too fussed if I spend that extra or not.

    I'm not going out thinking that I will definitely spend it; I've been giving the sales people my original budget - It was more that I looked at the dresses in the store myself and tried a few that were more than I thought to originally spend.

    As it is I think I've made up my mind - however the lining of the dress is completely see through so I just emailed the designer today to see if it can be changed.

    I'm going with the one that I thought looked the best - had the most wow factor. I wasn't sure about it because when I looked at the photo my friend had taken I thought that maybe I had been fooled by skinny mirrors. I'm thinking that I liked it and if I had the correct underwear on and the not see through lining that it will be great!

    thank you all for the help.
    Good to hear from others.
    charlotte989875SP29
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