Bridesmaid Dilemma!

Knottie935c88d6a00cf00d

Hi all  

I'm new to this site, but have something I need some opinions on! I am in the process of finalizing my wedding party - I have a maid and matron of honor (my two best friends), and have asked 3 of my closest friends to be bridesmaids. I feel blessed they all said yes, especially because some are traveling far! Because I would like to include family, I also plan on asking my niece to be a bridesmaid, (my older half brothers daughter who I am close with), but my confusion and dilemma is whether to ALSO ask my two younger half sisters (we have the same dad).

I don't feel as close with my half sisters, but my niece and two younger sisters are VERY close and hang out all the time. So I have been feeling guilty over asking 1 and not all three. Will my half sisters feel left out, if they aren't in it and my niece is? Will it affect my dad? I was raised an only child by my mom, so my younger half sisters have always been a part of my life from the time they were babies, but because of our age gap (12 and 14 years younger than me - I'm in my thirties), it has played a role with us not being as close I feel, not to mention we never lived together growing up.

If I have my 5 friends plus put all three family members that will be 8 total in my wedding party, which is also more to think about in terms of flowers, etc. I know this is total "champagne problems" as they say - ha! But I honestly have been SO confused on what to do because it's a unique family situation! I should mention that because they are younger than I, I wouldn't expect much from them other than to come to bridal shower, and wedding, which is fine. 

Anyways, appreciate hearing from some of you on what you think I should do My gut isn't leading me one way in particular. 

p.s. I should mention I don't think of them as "half-sisters" per se, but it was just easier to describe on here. 

Xo

SaintPaulGal

Knottie935c88d6a00cf00d said:

Hi all  

I'm new to this site, but have something I need some opinions on! I am in the process of finalizing my wedding party - I have a maid and matron of honor (my two best friends), and have asked 3 of my closest friends to be bridesmaids. I feel blessed they all said yes, especially because some are traveling far! Because I would like to include family, I also plan on asking my niece to be a bridesmaid, (my older half brothers daughter who I am close with), but my confusion and dilemma is whether to ALSO ask my two younger half sisters (we have the same dad).

I don't feel as close with my half sisters, but my niece and two younger sisters are VERY close and hang out all the time. So I have been feeling guilty over asking 1 and not all three. Will my half sisters feel left out, if they aren't in it and my niece is? Will it affect my dad? I was raised an only child by my mom, so my younger half sisters have always been a part of my life from the time they were babies, but because of our age gap (12 and 14 years younger than me - I'm in my thirties), it has played a role with us not being as close I feel, not to mention we never lived together growing up.

If I have my 5 friends plus put all three family members that will be 8 total in my wedding party, which is also more to think about in terms of flowers, etc. I know this is total "champagne problems" as they say - ha! But I honestly have been SO confused on what to do because it's a unique family situation! I should mention that because they are younger than I, I wouldn't expect much from them other than to come to bridal shower, and wedding, which is fine. 

Anyways, appreciate hearing from some of you on what you think I should do My gut isn't leading me one way in particular. 

p.s. I should mention I don't think of them as "half-sisters" per se, but it was just easier to describe on here. 

Xo

So don't ask them.  If you aren't close you aren't close, and your wedding isn't going to change that.  

SP29

Who is in your wedding party is solely your decision. I wouldn't ask your sisters if you are not close to them. Being in the WP won't improve the relationship (often it brings out negative aspects, if there are any). Ask your niece if you are close and want her to be part of it.

P.S. None of your MOH/BM are required to do anything for your wedding except to show up the day of in the agreed upon attire (for which you have privately asked their budget for prior to choosing a dress). No one is required to host a pre-wedding party for you, nor are any of your WP members required to attend your bridal shower. Thus, don't make the decision about who you want to be in your WP based on whether or not they can do things for you. The position of a WP is one of honour- you are honouring them by asking them to stand up with you because they are your nearest and dearest.

Knottie935c88d6a00cf00d

Thanks. Well my girls want to do stuff for me. My maid of honor was so excited she's already planning the shower and bachelorette! And of course I chose them out of love and close friendship! Appreciate your reply.

SP29

Knottie935c88d6a00cf00d said:

Thanks. Well my girls want to do stuff for me. My maid of honor was so excited she's already planning the shower and bachelorette! And of course I chose them out of love and close friendship! Appreciate your reply.

Which is totally fine! That's awesome if they have offered to do these things for you. Just don't think that because your niece or sisters are young and may not offer to do these things because they can afford to host a party as a reason why not to ask them to be in your WP. Don't ask them because they aren't close to you.

Knottie935c88d6a00cf00d

I don't think that. At all I may not be super close with them but then again they are my sisters and I hope that as well all grow older we will become closer, the age gaps just held us back some I feel , but we are very sisterly when we do spend time.

kahluakoala

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that I think as long as you can afford the extra flowers and whatnot, it would be very nice to invite them. It sounds like you care about them and have a positive relationship but not an incredibly close one. I think given they are family they would be touched to be in your WP and consider it a very nice sisterly gesture. I think there's a difference between "we're not close" and "we have a strained/negative relationship". I think if you invite them, you have to be (as you should be with all your BMs) accommodating of their budget and comfort with getting a dress and have no expectations for them besides showing up to the wedding.

Knottie935c88d6a00cf00d

Thank you ❤ I really appreciate your positive outlook. We do not have a negative relationship at all nor astrained just not super close as in talk to each other and see each other all the time. And yes as far as dresses I'm leaning towards selecting a color and having each girl pick a dress in the color for herself that she feels comfortable in and that can hopefully be a way to be more flexible with budget as well. 

CMGragain

I answered you on the other board.  Please use X post when you post the same question on different boards. 

mollybarker11

scribe95 said:

You could also consider asking to them do a reading in your wedding so they are part of it. That's an option. 

This is what my half-brother did for his wedding. My sister and I each did a reading. There is a 10-12 year age difference between him and us, we grew up mostly in separate homes, and I would have been very surprised to have been asked to be in the WP.

Knottie935c88d6a00cf00d

Thank you all, I am going to ask them. My niece I asked today and she was in tears she said she was honored I just figure the more the merrier, I am a glass half full type. They are excited for my engagement and I would like to include family because it's important to me even if we aren't super "best friend" type close. Xoxo