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The night before the wedding....

Did you both stay in the same house? FI & I have lived together for a few years and recently bought a house. We're coming back here after the wedding and I hadn't given any thought to either of us staying somewhere else the night before. Neither of us is religious or has any superstitions or anything about being together the night before, but my mom was completely flabbergasted when I told her we'd probably both be at home. His parents live about 10 minutes away, so he probably could stay there. It's not a huge thing to either of us either way, I just hadn't thought about it at all.

Is that weird? What did you/are you going to do?

Re: The night before the wedding....

  • My mom was the same. I stayed at her house the night before the wedding and H stayed at our place. I didn't mind because that meant she made me breakfast and helped me with curlers. 
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We stayed in our hotel room together (DW in Hawaii).  We also had breakfast together the morning of before we got ready.  I liked that time we had together before the day got really started.

    We were also living together and bought a house together before we were even engaged, so it wasn't a change for us
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  • We didn't because it was easier and he liked the tradition of not seeing each other.
    I had 2 of my BMs staying with me and only so much space, then we got ready at my mum's.

    My husband stayed at a hotel room, then the guys got ready there. It was fun seeing what they did, and definitely built the anticipation of seeing each other.

    Side note: he ended up calling me that night ;) I said it was because he missed me.
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  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    H and I stayed together the night before the wedding, much to my friends' dismay. My two best girlfriends were irked that I wanted to stay with H instead of them, but I would've gotten zero sleep and been exhausted the next day. Plus, H and I got to use a lake house that was part of our venue for the whole weekend and I was certainly not going to miss out on any time there just because of superstition or tradition. It was amazing getting to wake up with my H (then fiance) on our wedding day, see the sunrise on the water and just enjoy a couple hours of calm before everything got crazy. 
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  • We stayed together the night before. We slept better together than we would have apart. We had breakfast together the next morning which was great. We went our separate ways to get ready before our first look.
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    DH and I had lived together for 2 years before we got married. We decided not to stay together partially because of tradition but I also wanted to spend the night with my MOH and some BMs. The venue we had our reception at had 4 bedrooms so we stayed in those the night before. DH brought me breakfast the next morning though.

  • DH and I spent the night together.  We were already living together and both sleep best in our own bed.
  • We got married OOT from where we live and slept in the same bed (at my mom's house) the night before.  However, we didn't spend much of the "day of" together.  I was busy seeing to last minute details, getting my hair done, and getting ready, etc.

    I don't think it "ruined" anything, for lack of a better word.  We didn't do a first look, either.  The first time he saw me all dolled up and in my bridal gown was at the altar.  I think it was just as amazing and special, than if we'd been apart from the day before.

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  • After much debate (not with each other, just going back and forth on it in our own minds) H and I decided maximizing the chances of a good night's sleep was more important than wanting to build suspense for the next day, so we stayed together in our own bed. If you aren't a fussy sleeper and think you won't have trouble zonking out elsewhere go for it, but if you're like me and can have difficulty with that I definitely recommend doing everything you can to be well-rested for your wedding day!
  • We stayed apart. We lived OOT at the time, wedding in our hometown, so we had been staying together at my dad's. Night before DH stayed at my dads, I stayed at my Moms. Worked out easier, as me, my mom, my BM (who also stayed at my Moms) and my godmother (who was also at my moms) all went to get our hair done the next morning.
  • We stayed together.  Aside from getting a hotel room, we didn't really have anywhere else that would have worked for us to stay--our local friends and family didn't really have extra space at the time, so it would have meant crashing on someone's couch, and pretty much everyone had cats or dogs, which we are both allergic to, so we would have showed up stuffy and red-eyed to the wedding!  
  • We stayed apart, mainly because we both wanted to hang out with our friends the night before, and we were getting readily separately with our wedding party the next morning, so it was just easier. We had the rehearsal dinner and hung out with him all of our wedding party together until around 11, and then went our separate ways. H and his groomsmen stayed at our house, and my bridesmaids and I stayed at my parents house (which also made my mom happy since she got to spend pretty much all morning with me before the wedding). Neither of us have problems sleeping apart, but if this would have been a concern for either of us, we definitely would have just stayed together.
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    We stayed together. We were getting married where we live, and it just made sense.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    We stayed apart.  We're pretty old-fashioned and H had his own apartment at the time.  My bridal party & I had rented a room for us to get ready in the morning of the wedding, so I slept there.

  • Greenjinjo Greenjinjo New Zealand
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    We will be staying together as we have just purchased a house and want to save money to do renovations. We will also be staying in our house on our wedding night. 

    FIs mother was shocked when we first told her that (and the 2nd time ... And 3rd), though she has finally come around. We have been living together for over 3 years now and we both would sleep better in our bed together. 
  • We stayed together. DH was generally more into tradition while planning so I was surprised when he wanted to stay together. His little brother threw a fit when he found out lol.
  • atomicblondeatomicblonde The Shire
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2017
    We stayed apart.  We had multi-bedroom suites and invited our bridal parties to stay with us the night before (at no cost to them, obviously).  We live really far from most family and friends, so it was awesome having that little bit of extra time to chill with them.

    No one important in either of our families cared one way or the other, and those who had an opinion were told it wasn't their business.

    Edited to finish a thought.

    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • eileenrob said:
    DH and I spent the night together.  We were already living together and both sleep best in our own bed.

    Greenjinjo eileenrob
  • We lived OOT from where the wedding was and we had a bridal suite the night before and the night of the wedding. I stayed there and he crashed ata friends only because I wanted to go right to sleep after the rehearsal dinner and he and the guys were going out for drinks. Had we been in our hometown we would have stayed together in our own bed. 

    Do what logisitcally works works best for you. Your mother may be flabbergasted, but you'll be well rested. 
  • I'm leaning towards both of us staying in our house, if only because in the past few year I'm finding I sleep much better in my own bed. We haven't scheduled much for the morning of the wedding yet, so if those plans change maybe I'll send him to stay with his parents down the road ;) 
  • We stayed together. H got up early, went to work and I got to be lazy. I think I got the better end of the deal.
  • justsie said:
    We stayed together at the hotel where we were taking our minimoon. It was great, H went and worked out early at the crack of dawn while I got to enjoy the king sized bed. Then he brought me starbucks with "bride" on it and the white girl in me was very pleased. 
    Haha you're "white girl in me comment made me laugh out loud!
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  • I shared a hotel room with my childhood BFF (who is like a sister). To be fair, we got married in a different state than where we live. He stayed with his grandparents.

  • We lived together for years (4 years, maybe?) and had been together about 6 years when we got married. We stayed apart the night before, but that made sense for us and what we envisioned for our wedding day. Even though the wedding was local, we had some family staying in a hotel and were using a hotel suite for the "getting ready", and staying our wedding night in the hotel as well. 

    It was fun to part ways after the rehearsal dinner, and then I had room service breakfast with my mom and aunt that morning (they came to my room for theirs), and then my bridal party showed up after breakfast to start getting ready. My husband slept at home, and his family came over after lunch to take pictures with him before we all met up for a first look and family pictures. 

    I liked the idea of both of us getting time alone with our families and closest friends, and then all coming together later in the day. Kinda symbolized a marriage that way. :-)
  • We just bought a house together almost a year ago. We've been living together for almost 5 years now. I have a son and he has 2 daughters. We will be staying in our home together with the kids the night before. We will be staying in a hotel with a Jacuzzi tub in the room the night of the wedding while my mom brings the kids back to our house.  We talked about just going home, but if we could find a reasonable hotel with a Jacuzzi tub in the room then we would stay there.

  • We stayed in a hotel the night before, but slept in two different rooms. And when I mean slept, I mean I just laid there all night. :) 
  • When my friend gets married next year I've offered to pay for a hotel room for 3 nights... the night before, the wedding night and an extra one as they will be unlikely to have a proper honeymoon for quite a while. I've left it up to them whether they stay in it together but her Fi seems to like the idea of having a night away for anticipation purposes... 
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