Registering and Gifts

Honeymoon Fund Registry?

My fiance and I combined households and are trying to downsize our stuff. We're going to do a small registry for people who want to give a physical gift. We both love to travel and would like to go on a nice honeymoon before we settle down and have kids. Either way we're paying for the majority of our honeymoon (flights, hotels, rental car, etc.) up front, but I know some registries will give you a check for the overall total minus fees. We're trying to decide between doing a Honeymoon Fund Registry or just letting people assume that by doing a small registry we prefer money. Honeymoon Fund Registries charge a fee for using credit cards. Did a lot of people actually gift money using credit cards or give cash/check to avoid the fee?  Did they do so through the website, or did people still just put cash/check in a card anyways? Any advice on which Registry to use if we were to do one? What other advice do you have? 

I'm asking advice from Brides that are doing or has done a honeymoon registry fund. I've already done my research and know that times have changed and it's now acceptable and common to do a honeymoon fund. Yes, there are still those that think it's rude, but please don't comment if you're going to write rude comments. Thanks for understanding!
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Re: Honeymoon Fund Registry?

  • My fiance and I combined households and are trying to downsize our stuff. We're going to do a small registry for people who want to give a physical gift. We both love to travel and would like to go on a nice honeymoon before we settle down and have kids. Either way we're paying for the majority of our honeymoon (flights, hotels, rental car, etc.) up front, but I know some registries will give you a check for the overall total minus fees. We're trying to decide between doing a Honeymoon Fund Registry or just letting people assume that by doing a small registry we prefer money. Honeymoon Fund Registries charge a fee for using credit cards. Did a lot of people actually gift money using credit cards or give cash/check to avoid the fee?  Did they do so through the website, or did people still just put cash/check in a card anyways? Any advice on which Registry to use if we were to do one? What other advice do you have? 

    I'm asking advice from Brides that are doing or has done a honeymoon registry fund. I've already done my research and know that times have changed and it's now acceptable and common to do a honeymoon fund. Yes, there are still those that think it's rude, but please don't comment if you're going to write rude comments. Thanks for understanding!
    Nope. This is getting all the nopes. First of all, it is never acceptable, polite, or appropriate to ask for money - which is what setting up a honeymoon registry is, btw. 

    Second of all, you can't tell people how to post. 

    Third of all, just don't have a registry (which also means no showers). People will give you cash/checks at the wedding. Bam. Problem solved.
    InLoveInQueensILoveBeachMusicSP29DrillSergeantCat
  • Honeymoon and cash registries are neither acceptable nor common. They are gross and greedy. They are also deceptive. 

    Plus, it is incredibly moronic to pay someone to collect money and give it to you. If your guests want to give you money, they'll put it in an envelope or card and had it to you. Letting a company take a cut of that for no reason is just plain stupid. 
    This. Times infinity. 
    SP29
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    I guess I'm old, but I will never understand the concept of registering for money.  Let alone paying a 3rd party to collect the money.  

     We were generously gifted thousands of dollars without registering for money nor having to pay a single fee to a 3rd party.   Our guests gave us cash or checks and we deposited them into our accounts.  Easy, peasy.  We also received some very thoughtful physical gifts.  Some off of our registry and some off registry.  Which BTW have become some of our treasured possessions.


    Personally, I think people put too much time and energy into gifts they might receive.  I knew I was having a shower, so we made a registry, as the entire point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts (not cash).   Otherwise we didn't put much thought into potential gifts.  

     If you don't need anything, then don't have a shower.   Registering for cash is just weird.  I mean, if you don't need anything, why do you still need cash?      

    Maybe it's just our social groups, but we are gifts for shower, money for wedding people anyway.  No need to trick people into giving us a honeymoon experience when really they are giving cash, with a fee taken out to boot.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    InLoveInQueensILoveBeachMusicsparklepants41MairePoppy
  • I genuinely think this is the 8th time I've had to say this on here: 
    If you pay for something (honey fund) that you would normally get for free (cash/cheques) you are TERRIBLE with money!

    honeyfunds lie to your guests, charge insane fees and percentages, and are super rude. 

    Dont register. ONLY when asked say 'We don't need any things, but we are saving up for a holiday' 


    ^^What she said. People know how to give money, they have been doing it for years at weddings, before these honeymoon registries and cash registries. Why would that change? 
  • Honeymoon funds are just like asking for money, and that is sooooooo tacky!  Don't do it.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    DrillSergeantCat
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    When I got married, we had a large registry. We still received 90% cash gifts.

    You don't need a registry for guests to give you money. Those who only give a physical gift will give you one regardless of a HM registry. And those who will happily give cash don't need a registry to do that.

    Keep your BB&B registry small. If anyone asks you can say, "We don't really need much, but we are saving up for our honeymoon".

    Really, people will get it.

    And there isn't a HM registry out there that doesn't charge a fee. They are business providing a service- they are out to make money off you/your guests.
    Knottie1469382413
  • H and I were in a similar position and didn't need more stuff. We didn't register for anything. We received only a single boxed gift. We got mostly money and then a few gift certificates to restaurants/stores.

    You will use the money regardless for your honeymoon. Wouldn't you rather have 100% of the money that people give over 97%? If people ask about where you are registered you can let them know that you are not registered anywhere but are saving for the upcoming honeymoon.

    Knottie1469382413SP29
  • mrose88 said:
    So, I contributed to some friends' Honeyfund when they got married in September. I'd never heard of it before, and I'm pretty good friends with the couple and knew they were planning a big trip in the Spring, which would be her first trip out of the country. I was actually pretty excited to be able to buy them tickets to go on a gondola ride in Venice, and give her that awesome experience!

    ........And then I found out that it was all boolshiz, and I didn't in fact buy them a gondola ride in Venice, but just gave them 97% of the money I spent on providing what I thought was an experience gift. I was bummed. 
    I fell into the trap the first time I saw one too! Then I was talking to the couple some time after they got back from their honeymoon and they said they didn't get to do a few of the "experiences" people had purchased for them, so I felt even more ripped off!

    The idea behind them is nice; that you're treating someone to an experience they maybe wouldn't do otherwise. But I feel like that can be done just as well by giving them cash or a check and noting somewhere it's for them to do something awesome with on their honeymoon. Or if you really want to go bananas, talk to them about what they're hoping to do and gift them a gift certificate for that (purchased directly from that place, not a third party).
    ILoveBeachMusicKnottie1469382413SP29
  • Reading some of these posts make me sick. Did you ever think that maybe some of these brides are paying for their entire wedding? So after spending thousands on a wedding do they not deserve a honeymoon? And don't say that they can expect cash - every wedding is different and every guest is different. One bride might be counting on the cash she receives in the cards to pay for the remaining part of the honeymoon and how heartbroken will she be that there is maybe 3 cards in the box with gift cards.. no money. As for gifts, why register for things that you already have? I can't justify making my guests buy me something that I already have only to turn around and throw the perfectly good one away that's sitting in my cabinet. Helping towards my honeymoon would be so special and something I would remember forever. Especially because I love to travel. A wedding is for the bride. Her registry is not yours. She does't register for things with her guests list on her mind. If you don't like what she registered for then you probably shouldn't go to her wedding. 
    Knottied9edef184a4f894d
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited February 1
    Reading some of these posts make me sick. Did you ever think that maybe some of these brides are paying for their entire wedding? So after spending thousands on a wedding do they not deserve a honeymoon? And don't say that they can expect cash - every wedding is different and every guest is different. One bride might be counting on the cash she receives in the cards to pay for the remaining part of the honeymoon and how heartbroken will she be that there is maybe 3 cards in the box with gift cards.. no money. As for gifts, why register for things that you already have? I can't justify making my guests buy me something that I already have only to turn around and throw the perfectly good one away that's sitting in my cabinet. Helping towards my honeymoon would be so special and something I would remember forever. Especially because I love to travel. A wedding is for the bride. Her registry is not yours. She does't register for things with her guests list on her mind. If you don't like what she registered for then you probably shouldn't go to her wedding. 
    Sure, everyone can have a honeymoon. But no one is entitled to have others pay for it. If they have thousands to spend on a wedding, cut back on flowers, guests, fancy dresses etc, and use that money to go away for the weekend to a nice honeymoon. Or else DONT REGISTER and use the money you get for a trip. 

    Jfc some people are thick as mud. So if you have 75 couples attend your wedding and give £100 per couple.  and it is a 3% cut plus 3% CC fee, you just paid a company £450 to get something you would otherwise get for FREE (cash and cheques). 

    If you CHOOSE to spend your money on a wedding instead of a holiday, that is your issue. If a bride spent thousands on a car, would you then say she deserves a fancy trip?! Maybe that heartbroken bride should learn to live within her means. 

    I'd also like to see where the universe said you were entitled to luxuries, like fancy holidays and parties. 

    If, with everything going on in the world this week, the thought of some couple that has thousands to spend on a party and therefore can't go on a luxury honeymoon makes you sick, you have horrible priorities. 
    geebee908InLoveInQueensSP29DrillSergeantCat
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited February 1
    Sounds like Knottie#s  is having a wedding all by herself. I guess the groom doesn't want any of these things. 

    Ok done being snarky. Knottie#s, no, you aren't entitled to some grand honeymoon. If you want a honeymoon, budget so that you can afford one. Cut back on some wedding things. As an adult you have to make choices throughout life about what is important and what isn't. Start now. 

    No one said you have to register for anything. You will probably get a lot of cash or checks if you don't. There are always some people who prefer to give a physical gift - I am one of those people. If  you don't need or want the gifts you can return them. You don't have to throw away anything.

     I am also one of those people who will NEVER contribute to a honey fund or any other kind of cash gift account. I want the couple to get all the money I intend to give them not just a percentage.

    Knottie2c47d43f8efd9cb0.

    InLoveInQueensMairePoppySP29DrillSergeantCat
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    Reading some of these posts make me sick. Did you ever think that maybe some of these brides are paying for their entire wedding? So after spending thousands on a wedding do they not deserve a honeymoon? And don't say that they can expect cash - every wedding is different and every guest is different. One bride might be counting on the cash she receives in the cards to pay for the remaining part of the honeymoon and how heartbroken will she be that there is maybe 3 cards in the box with gift cards.. no money. As for gifts, why register for things that you already have? I can't justify making my guests buy me something that I already have only to turn around and throw the perfectly good one away that's sitting in my cabinet. Helping towards my honeymoon would be so special and something I would remember forever. Especially because I love to travel. A wedding is for the bride. Her registry is not yours. She does't register for things with her guests list on her mind. If you don't like what she registered for then you probably shouldn't go to her wedding. 
    Yep, that is exactly what I'm saying. The bride (and her spouse) aren't entitled to a honeymoon just because they blew their budget on a fancy wedding. Guests aren't obligated to pay for the bride's (and her spouse's) vacation. If you have $XXXX for your wedding expenses, it's up to you to decide how to divvy up. Many couples use the majority of their budgets on their weddings and take their honeymoons later, when they can better afford it.

    That said, I usually buy a boxed gift from the registry for the shower and 90% of the time I give a cash gift for the wedding. I would never contribute my hard earned money to a honeyfund or other cash fund because I don't need a middle man to take a cut. Also, I am less likely to give cash to couples who outright solicit it.

    Should you register for stuff you don't want? Of course not. But keep in mind that there are people who aren't comfortable giving cash as gifts. If you're okay with getting a few toasters or the proverbial Metal Chicken, there's no need for a registry.

            
                
    geebee908SP29TrixieJessHeffalump
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    I guess I just don't see why a honeymoon fund is convenient. The money doesn't go right into your bank account the way depositing cash/checks does. It sits in your virtual account and takes several days to to a week to transfer to the bank before you can access it.
    ~*~*~*~*~
    Seriously, why the FUCK are you stalking me?! You need to get a life and stop being obsessed with me.
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    ahoyweddingSP29InLoveInQueens
  • driddrid
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited February 3
    If I'm invited to a wedding and you have a honeyfund registry, you can bet your ass I'm giving you a Keg or Cineplex gift card and NOT CASH
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    TrixieJessInLoveInQueensMairePoppySP29
  • Reading some of these posts make me sick. Did you ever think that maybe some of these brides are paying for their entire wedding? So after spending thousands on a wedding do they not deserve a honeymoon? And don't say that they can expect cash - every wedding is different and every guest is different. One bride might be counting on the cash she receives in the cards to pay for the remaining part of the honeymoon and how heartbroken will she be that there is maybe 3 cards in the box with gift cards.. no money. As for gifts, why register for things that you already have? I can't justify making my guests buy me something that I already have only to turn around and throw the perfectly good one away that's sitting in my cabinet. Helping towards my honeymoon would be so special and something I would remember forever. Especially because I love to travel. A wedding is for the bride. Her registry is not yours. She does't register for things with her guests list on her mind. If you don't like what she registered for then you probably shouldn't go to her wedding. 
    H & I spent approximately $30,000 on our own wedding.  And I lost my job two months before.  And then two days after the wedding, we took ourselves on a trip to Ireland for our honeymoon for 10 days with money we earned and cash we got at our wedding.  It's completely normal.

    Oh, and a wedding isn't for the bride.  It's for the couple.  It's THEIR registry, THEY register, THEY have guests, and it's THEIR wedding.  You're selfish and self-centered.  And YOUR post makes ME sick.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
    MyNameIsNotILoveBeachMusicSP29DrillSergeantCat
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