Destination Weddings Discussions

Open bar for destination wedding?

OK I'm really torn here. Our wedding will be in FL and most of the guests(most likely less than 75 attending) over the age of 30. I'd like to offer an open bar since we are asking our guests to travel for us, but my Mom thinks we don't need it. She says most of her family aren't big drinkers. My thoughts are I don't want to be cheap, but I also want to cut costs as much as possible.

Re: Open bar for destination wedding?

  • Open bar. You are 100% right. 
  • Cash bars are rude.    I think even worse for destination weddings.   If you side are not big drinkers than it might not be budget buster.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I agree with everyone.  If your guests aren't big drinkers, it shouldn't be a huge strain on the budget anyway, but I'd leave a bit of wiggle room in the budget in case they do indulge.  You could do just beer and wine if you're worried about people getting more expensive mixed drinks, but I doubt the difference would be very much for a group that size that aren't heavy drinkers.  Send your mom to us if she still doesn't budge.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2017
    OK I'm really torn here. Our wedding will be in FL and most of the guests(most likely less than 75 attending) over the age of 30. I'd like to offer an open bar since we are asking our guests to travel for us, but my Mom thinks we don't need it. She says most of her family aren't big drinkers. My thoughts are I don't want to be cheap, but I also want to cut costs as much as possible.
    Open bar as opposed to what?

    No cash bars!!!!!!!!!!!  Ewwww!!!!

    Limited bars, with wine, beer and maybe a signature drink would be OK.  We served mimosas and bloody marys at daughter's afternoon reception, and about half of her guests, who were Asian and couldn't drink, enjoyed sodas.  Damn, all those sodas were expensive!

    Your mother is correct that alcohol at a wedding is not required at all, but most people do expect it these days.  Full open bar is never required.
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  • No no not a cash bar. Sorry should have written that, oops. No I meant like as in us just paying per drink. My mom thinks most guests won't drink enough for it to be worth paying for an open bar. No I'd never make people pay for their drinks if we are asking them to travel yikes
  • I was going to suggest a consumption bar! This might be a good way for YOU to save costs without having any effect on guests comfort. I don't see anything wrong with this. It will be effectively open to your guests, however.
  • Open bar...you are correct. I agree with looking into the pay-per-drink (called a consumption bar) option with your venue. We did that for our rehearsal dinner and it was cheaper. Especially if you don't have a big drinking crowd, this will very likely save you a lot of money.
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  • Thanks for all your input! I appreciate it! I think our guests will drink more than they would at a local wedding since they will have that "vacation" mentality. Plus both of our families haven't had a wedding in awhile just death and sickness lately. So I think most will be looking forward to a happy occasion!
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2017
    No no not a cash bar. Sorry should have written that, oops. No I meant like as in us just paying per drink. My mom thinks most guests won't drink enough for it to be worth paying for an open bar. No I'd never make people pay for their drinks if we are asking them to travel yikes
    Phew! 

    This is is where you just have to estimate and cost it out. Get a drinks menu from your venue. Calculate per hour (Average is 2 drinks the first hour and 1 drink per hour after that- so for a 5 hour reception do 6 drinks) . Does your crowd drink cocktails or beer/wine (do 1/3 split between the 3 if you aren't sure)  Do a generous estimate ( 8 per person with 1/3 split betweeen wine by the glass/ bottles/ cocktails x75) , average (6 per person) and low estimate (3-4).

    also cost out 50/50 split with beer/wine only if your group doesn't really drink spirits. Remember, your venue may charge you by the glass rather than the whole bottle price (it's worth confirming with them). Also, make sure you actually TRY the wines! 

    Compare that with the per person rate. If it's within a reasonable amount, I'd personally go with a per person rate to prevent surprises. 


  • Thanks for all your input! I appreciate it! I think our guests will drink more than they would at a local wedding since they will have that "vacation" mentality. Plus both of our families haven't had a wedding in awhile just death and sickness lately. So I think most will be looking forward to a happy occasion!
    All venues are different, and I have very limited knowledge on consumption bars.  Clarify when you question about a consumption bar as to whether soft drinks are included in this count, or if they are free for the evening.
  • Mine is going to be consumption-based on our end and open bar for guests.  

    Our venue doesn't offer a cost-per-head open bar, but even if they did we probably would choose the consumption model if given the option.  My partner and I and quite a few of our close friends are big cocktail people, so we would have to get some sort of crazy super-ultra-premium package to get the sort of drinks we like.  Then obviously everyone has to have the same package, so cousin so-and-so who is going to have a half dozen Miller Lights and grandma who doesn't drink at all are both going to cost the full amount as if they were drinking more expensive things as well.  With model based on consumption, guests get exactly what they want and we don't have to pay as if everyone is drinking $15-equivalent craft cocktails (although anyone who wants to is more than welcome!)
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