40-Plus Brides

Intro & where to start on The Knot forums

Hi all,
My fiancé & I are in our 40s, from the Midwest, been engaged since 2013 & looking forward to getting married on our shared birthday (he's just a year older : )  FH wanted to wait until he finished his degree, so that's why we've held off; but it's been so exciting the past few months to actually be planning - getting more-n-more excited for our wedding day & marriage : )

I'm coming here from another wedding website.  Their forum was way to snarky for me & I just don't need that.  Hoping to find some good convo & suggestions from The Knot : )  Any place I should start on here or suggestions for newbies?

Answers

  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    member
    Welcome aboard! Read a lot (the etiquette board is particularly informative), and keep an open mind when you post. Yes, people here are blunt sometimes, but not mean. We just want you to have a great wedding that will make your guests and you happy!
  • We have a board explicitly dedicated to being snarky :)  Just remember that if people are telling you your idea is bad it's not to pick on you but ithey are telling you what your friends and family won't say to your face but will snark or complain about behind your back.

    On the other hand, we'll tell you when your ideas are great and to not freak out about not having calalillies, flimsy robes for your bridesmaids, even bridal parties, not having a wedding in a barn or a country club etc.


    OurWildKingdom
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Welcome! Just wanted to share - my H and I have birthdays one day apart. The year we got married, his birthday was on a Friday and mine was on Saturday. It was the perfect wedding weekend. We had a blast. And now we celebrate all three in one shot (usually with a small trip, so it's extra fun). 

    OurWildKingdomambrok
  • Welcome.  You will find us honest, but not mean.
    I am curious.  Is there something in particular that people on another board disliked about your plans?  We might not be able to agree with them either, but we wouldn't be nasty about it.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Hi CM...My first day on the other site, I got hammered by quite a few for 'reviving an old post'...it was 5 days when I posted to it.  And that was my welcome to the site...LOL.  Over the past few months, I just seen so many brides ask questions; but instead of commenting with a suggestion or answer, many times the commenters were spending more time feeling out if it was a cash bar/friendor/self catering involved.  I prefer to have a few answers/suggestions (give explanation, if needed) & a bunch of people 'liking' a comment instead of having 80 people be really snarky/telling someone how wrong they are over-n-over again.  Personally, we are not self catering & will have beer/soda available; but I just hated seeing it.  At some point, you share your info & let it go...it's up to the bride to do as they wish at their wedding.

    Just my thoughts...


  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    ambrok said:

    Hi CM...My first day on the other site, I got hammered by quite a few for 'reviving an old post'...it was 5 days when I posted to it.  And that was my welcome to the site...LOL.  Over the past few months, I just seen so many brides ask questions; but instead of commenting with a suggestion or answer, many times the commenters were spending more time feeling out if it was a cash bar/friendor/self catering involved.  I prefer to have a few answers/suggestions (give explanation, if needed) & a bunch of people 'liking' a comment instead of having 80 people be really snarky/telling someone how wrong they are over-n-over again.  Personally, we are not self catering & will have beer/soda available; but I just hated seeing it.  At some point, you share your info & let it go...it's up to the bride to do as they wish at their wedding.

    Just my thoughts...


    Regarding the bolded, sure, no one can force anyone to do the right thing.

    But if someone has plans that aren't considerate of others, particularly their guests, they should hear about it. If someone isn't willing to do the basics to host guests properly, they should get married without guests. For instance, self-catering isn't necessarily bad, but it is a lot of work, and if anyone veers into taking care of that amount of work by a) not keeping things actually food-safe by the time guests eat or b) asking their guests to work, those plans aren't good.

    People here won't necessarily try to seek out that information, but if it's mentioned or referenced in someone's post, they'll explain why it's poor planning. The occasional bride who doesn't just get defensive and is willing to listen to reason will appreciate the concern, because it's just that - concern that the bride doesn't turn her wedding into a disaster (socially or logistically) just because she didn't think an idea through or was more attached to a vision of her day than her concern for her friends and family.

    Anniversary

    CMGragainOurWildKingdomcharlotte989875
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited February 11
    ambrok said:

    Hi CM...My first day on the other site, I got hammered by quite a few for 'reviving an old post'...it was 5 days when I posted to it.  And that was my welcome to the site...LOL.  Over the past few months, I just seen so many brides ask questions; but instead of commenting with a suggestion or answer, many times the commenters were spending more time feeling out if it was a cash bar/friendor/self catering involved.  I prefer to have a few answers/suggestions (give explanation, if needed) & a bunch of people 'liking' a comment instead of having 80 people be really snarky/telling someone how wrong they are over-n-over again.  Personally, we are not self catering & will have beer/soda available; but I just hated seeing it.  At some point, you share your info & let it go...it's up to the bride to do as they wish at their wedding.

    Just my thoughts...


    Well, I was with you until I read the bolded. The bride cannot be rude to her guests or her wedding party.  Etiquette does trump the bride's wishes.  I don't think you really meant that.

    It is the host's responsibility to see that everyone is treated with proper etiquette.  That usually means a comfortable location, chair for each behind, plenty of food and drink provided by the host, no time gaps between ceremony and reception, and making sure that each guest is personally thanked for coming to the wedding.  Unless you are planning something really weird, that about covers it.

    Most of us are fine with things unless you mention cash bars, PPDs, or asking guests to provide their own food.  You already know that is trouble anywhere.  If we think a bride is planning to do this, we will do everything we can to talk her out of it so she doesn't have a train wreck wedding day.

    My particular specialty seems to be wording wedding invitations.  I am older, so I learned this when "ladies" were expected to grow up to be social dragons.  Now I am one!  My daughter laughs at me.

    I hope you like it here.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OurWildKingdom
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards