Customs and Traditions

Parent dance?

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Re: Parent dance?

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
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    banana468 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    LD1970 said:
    Being single never bothered me, and even when I was single, I always thought the anniversary dance was great.  I can be happy for others and not begrudge them their happiness, even as someone who got married a LOT later than most of my friends.  
    Easy to do when you're not the one person left out of the dance.

    You might enjoy anniversary dances, but that isn't true of everyone. That doesn't mean those persons who don't "begrudge other persons' happiness."
    Married people don't participate in garter or bouquet tosses, does that make them feel excluded or bad about their relationship status, too? I'm all for considering guest comfort but I think forgoing a benign activity like the anniversary dance (which BTW doesn't just exclude single people it excludes unmarried couples and isn't required by anyone to participate or not) because on the rare chance someone single may be so uncomfortable with that, so much so they are offended seems excessive. 
    I think just about every single would like to skip bouquet and garter tosses. They keep coming up in lists of suggested activities to skip.

    But the only relationship everyone is there to "honor" is that of the couple getting married. Not everyone appreciates their own relationship status being emphasized at someone else's wedding. 

    Sorry, but I'd still rather drop all these activities that depend on the guests' marital status. If you really need to "honor" someone else's relationship status, do it on your own time.
    I'm sort of there with you.   Even when I was in a relationship I never liked the spectacle of the bouquet toss and I never saw a garter toss that wasn't vulgar.   

    I think it's fine to have a DJ do a shout out to a couple and say, "This song goes out to the parents of the bride," but by no means should the floor be cleared for them.

    And while the anniversary dance could possibly be omitted, I don't love the idea of no slow songs.   So if a slow dance would make you sad, go to the bathroom during it. 
    The anniversary dance at DD's wedding was the only slow song. H and I ballroom dance. Even though we had asked the DJ to play a couple of songs we and our other friends (including the parents of the groom) who BRD could dance to, he didn't. I'm glad we got at least one waltz in - and yes other people were on the floor who didn't ballroom dance.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    banana468 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    LD1970 said:
    Being single never bothered me, and even when I was single, I always thought the anniversary dance was great.  I can be happy for others and not begrudge them their happiness, even as someone who got married a LOT later than most of my friends.  
    Easy to do when you're not the one person left out of the dance.

    You might enjoy anniversary dances, but that isn't true of everyone. That doesn't mean those persons who don't "begrudge other persons' happiness."
    Married people don't participate in garter or bouquet tosses, does that make them feel excluded or bad about their relationship status, too? I'm all for considering guest comfort but I think forgoing a benign activity like the anniversary dance (which BTW doesn't just exclude single people it excludes unmarried couples and isn't required by anyone to participate or not) because on the rare chance someone single may be so uncomfortable with that, so much so they are offended seems excessive. 
    I think just about every single would like to skip bouquet and garter tosses. They keep coming up in lists of suggested activities to skip.

    But the only relationship everyone is there to "honor" is that of the couple getting married. Not everyone appreciates their own relationship status being emphasized at someone else's wedding. 

    Sorry, but I'd still rather drop all these activities that depend on the guests' marital status. If you really need to "honor" someone else's relationship status, do it on your own time.
    I'm sort of there with you.   Even when I was in a relationship I never liked the spectacle of the bouquet toss and I never saw a garter toss that wasn't vulgar.   

    I think it's fine to have a DJ do a shout out to a couple and say, "This song goes out to the parents of the bride," but by no means should the floor be cleared for them.

    And while the anniversary dance could possibly be omitted, I don't love the idea of no slow songs.   So if a slow dance would make you sad, go to the bathroom during it. 
    I don't think all slow songs need to be omitted. But aside from the couple's first dance and parent dances, anyone should be allowed to dance regardless of marital status.
    SP29
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    emmaaa said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    LD1970 said:
    Being single never bothered me, and even when I was single, I always thought the anniversary dance was great.  I can be happy for others and not begrudge them their happiness, even as someone who got married a LOT later than most of my friends.  
    Easy to do when you're not the one person left out of the dance.

    You might enjoy anniversary dances, but that isn't true of everyone. That doesn't mean those persons who don't "begrudge other persons' happiness."
    Married people don't participate in garter or bouquet tosses, does that make them feel excluded or bad about their relationship status, too? I'm all for considering guest comfort but I think forgoing a benign activity like the anniversary dance (which BTW doesn't just exclude single people it excludes unmarried couples and isn't required by anyone to participate or not) because on the rare chance someone single may be so uncomfortable with that, so much so they are offended seems excessive. 
    I think just about every single would like to skip bouquet and garter tosses. They keep coming up in lists of suggested activities to skip.

    But the only relationship everyone is there to "honor" is that of the couple getting married. Not everyone appreciates their own relationship status being emphasized at someone else's wedding. 

    Sorry, but I'd still rather drop all these activities that depend on the guests' marital status. If you really need to "honor" someone else's relationship status, do it on your own time.
    Is a couple's wedding not their "own time?" i am not a fan of anniversary dances but if I don't want to participate in something I just head to the bar instead.
    Off topic but your daughter is so adorable!
    Seriously!  And those little bear ears...shut up!
    image
    emmaaaSP29
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
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    Off topic but your daughter is so adorable!
    Seriously!  And those little bear ears...shut up!
    Thanks y'all! She's a sweetheart :)

    kimmiinthemittencowgirl8238SP29
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    edited February 22
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    LD1970 said:
    Being single never bothered me, and even when I was single, I always thought the anniversary dance was great.  I can be happy for others and not begrudge them their happiness, even as someone who got married a LOT later than most of my friends.  
    Easy to do when you're not the one person left out of the dance.

    You might enjoy anniversary dances, but that isn't true of everyone. That doesn't mean those persons who don't "begrudge other persons' happiness."
    Did she say she never was?
    Sorry, but I'm not playing the "Did she say X?" game. That's the kind of thing that starts flame wars.
    It's not a game. You implied that if someone has the experience of being the only person left out of a couples dance while single, they would have your view. That's not necessarily true, and there's also no way of knowing whether or not PP actually had that experience - maybe she and others have had that same experience, and still choose to think about it without bitterness. You love starting philosophical arguments so much, I thought you might appreciate the argumentative distinction.
    No, I don't love starting philosophical arguments. I'm choosing not to engage you in one.  Sorrynotsorry if that disappoints you.
  • Depends on what kind of reception you want to have. I'm not a fan of the anniversary dance because I don't like when everyone's cleared off the dance floor for a slow song to play. Makes it harder to get the party going back up again. At least during garter/bouquet toss, it is usually fast songs that they play. Anniversary dance is literally clearing everyone but 2 people off the dance floor. I'd rather keep music fast and more people dancing. 
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Depends on what kind of reception you want to have. I'm not a fan of the anniversary dance because I don't like when everyone's cleared off the dance floor for a slow song to play. Makes it harder to get the party going back up again. At least during garter/bouquet toss, it is usually fast songs that they play. Anniversary dance is literally clearing everyone but 2 people off the dance floor. I'd rather keep music fast and more people dancing. 

    I actually haven't seen this be a party-killer. If the DJ knows how to read the room, he'll know when most people are ready for a break or a slow song, and it can pick back up after that. It does slow things down, maybe even more than a normal slow song, but there's a normal ebb and flow to the dance floor anyway. If the DJ doesn't know how to time it such that it kills the party, it's likely not going to be a hot dance party anyway.

    Anniversary

    OurWildKingdomSP29
  • Depends on what kind of reception you want to have. I'm not a fan of the anniversary dance because I don't like when everyone's cleared off the dance floor for a slow song to play. Makes it harder to get the party going back up again. At least during garter/bouquet toss, it is usually fast songs that they play. Anniversary dance is literally clearing everyone but 2 people off the dance floor. I'd rather keep music fast and more people dancing. 

    I actually haven't seen this be a party-killer. If the DJ knows how to read the room, he'll know when most people are ready for a break or a slow song, and it can pick back up after that. It does slow things down, maybe even more than a normal slow song, but there's a normal ebb and flow to the dance floor anyway. If the DJ doesn't know how to time it such that it kills the party, it's likely not going to be a hot dance party anyway.
    True. Has a lot to do with DJ and timing. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • I have never heard of this.  I mean, it could be a family tradition of theirs but it seems like major overkill.  You can basically do one of two things here.  Either have the couples dance, father/daughter, and mother/son OR just the couples dance and parent dance that FMIL suggested.  But doing all four is like woah way too many individual dances.  Personally, I would say thanks for the suggestion but that's not a tradition we care to participate in and leave it at that.
  • wow i've only heard about FI doing a dance with their dads. never about sons and mothers. you might explain that your parents are not keen on the idea nd that's all
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