How to add how to dress on the invite?

ppgbeb

Hey lovely brides and wives,

I am making my own invitations for my Christmas themed wedding in December and am curious how to tell my guests to dress formal, a black tie affair. How would I put that on the invite? 
I have had friends tell me horror stories of girls dressed very un-modest attire, is there anyway to prevent that? 

JediElizabeth

ppgbeb said:

Hey lovely brides and wives,

I am making my own invitations for my Christmas themed wedding in December and am curious how to tell my guests to dress formal, a black tie affair. How would I put that on the invite? 
I have had friends tell me horror stories of girls dressed very un-modest attire, is there anyway to prevent that? 

I don't know the etiquette of trule black tie invites here, but formal =/= modest. There are plenty of formal dresses with plunging necklines that hug curves.

Unless this is a truly black tie affair, you shouldn't try to control guests' attire anyway. They'll get the feel of the evening from your invitations. From there, their wardrobe decision is on them and their judgment. 

STARMOON44

If this is a black tie event, you simply write "black tie" on the bottom left corner of the invitation. Black tie has nothing to do with modesty, there is no way to tell your guests to dress modestly. A black tie event is not simply a dress code, it is a dress code to match the level of formality of the event- full open bar, band, multiple course dinner, starts after 5pm etc. 

Viczaesar

STARMOON44 said:

If this is a black tie event, you simply write "black tie" on the bottom left corner of the invitation. Black tie has nothing to do with modesty, there is no way to tell your guests to dress modestly. A black tie event is not simply a dress code, it is a dress code to match the level of formality of the event- full open bar, band, multiple course dinner, starts after 5pm etc. 

And making your own invitations does not go with black tie, frankly.

ILoveBeachMusic

The only time you can put dress requirements other than true black tie (there a certain things that must happen for that) are if the venue has requirements. For instance if a house of worship won't allow shoulders to be uncovered or short skirts. Some country clubs require gentlemen to wear jackets. Those things can be conveyed to guests via an insert card stating the venue's rule.

ppgbeb

@Viczaesar Well I'm sorry you feel that way when I do designs online and I've designed websites? You have not even seen it, so why is it being judged as not black tie? Lol

AddieCake

Is your wedding truly black tie with all the trimmings that entails? Or are you just calling it that in the hopes that people will dress up more? And I agree with Elizabeth that formal does not equal modest. My more formal dresses are actually my most revealing ones. 

STARMOON44

For example, I might wear this to a black tie wedding next month:

http://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/la-femme-satin-gown/4525063?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=FOREST GREEN

climbingsingle

Nope.  You don't put black tie on the invite unless it's a truly black tie event. It sounds like you're just trying to keep female guests from dressing too risqué? Which - why do you even care? 

downtondiva

Beyond putting "black tie" on the invitation as @STARMOON44 said, you cannot dictate exactly how your guests dress for your wedding. Modesty and formality don't have anything to do with each other these days; many evening gowns are very revealing. I'm not sure why this would bother you.

The only time you should concern yourself with the modesty (or lack thereof) of your female guests' attire is if your ceremony is in a house of worship that will not allow them in if they are showing too much skin. And if that is an issue, it should be discussed on your wedding website and by word-of-mouth, not on the invitation. 

ppgbeb

AddieCake said:

Is your wedding truly black tie with all the trimmings that entails? Or are you just calling it that in the hopes that people will dress up more? And I agree with Elizabeth that formal does not equal modest. My more formal dresses are actually my most revealing ones. 

Yes it truly is, my family doesn't do it any other way with weddings. I do indeed know what black tie means, I promise ladies! Haha. I've been to plenty black tie events.
I was simply asking if there's anyway to prevent people dressing un-modesty, I know it's going to happen.  Thank you for your input!
STARMOON44 said:

For example, I might wear this to a black tie wedding next month:

http://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/la-femme-satin-gown/4525063?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=FOREST GREEN

That dress is so cute!!! I love it! It'll look gorgeous. (I mean like someone bending over and their baby maker hangs out.. Yes.. I have seen it happen at weddings, yuck..)  Thank you for showing me your gorgeous dress!

climbingwife said:

Nope.  You don't put black tie on the invite unless it's a truly black tie event. It sounds like you're just trying to keep female guests from dressing too risqué? Which - why do you even care? 

It is truly a black tie event. I was simply asking if it was something preventable, never said I cared, just asking advice. 

downtondiva said:

Beyond putting "black tie" on the invitation as @STARMOON44 said, you cannot dictate exactly how your guests dress for your wedding. Modesty and formality don't have anything to do with each other these days; many evening gowns are very revealing. I'm not sure why this would bother you.

The only time you should concern yourself with the modesty (or lack thereof) of your female guests' attire is if your ceremony is in a house of worship that will not allow them in if they are showing too much skin. And if that is an issue, it should be discussed on your wedding website and by word-of-mouth, not on the invitation. 

It doesn't bother me, I was simply asking a question! Thank you for the advice!

justsie

To answer your question then, not it is not preventable in a way that would be proper etiquette. People will sometimes not dress properly for the occasion regardless of what people tell them. Just put this on your "I don't care" list- since you've said you aren't bothered by it. 

CMGragain

ppgbeb said:

@Viczaesar Well I'm sorry you feel that way when I do designs online and I've designed websites? You have not even seen it, so why is it being judged as not black tie? Lol

A black tie wedding is held after 6:00PM.  It includes engraved invitations (black lettering on heavy white paper), full service dinner with gloved waiters in formal dress, and full live band.  All guests must wear black tie, which means that ALL of your male guests will need to rent a tuxedo if they don't already own one.  I have been to several black tie dinners and weddings in Washington, DC.  My son was a popular escort for debutantes in those days.
Now, do you think your wedding is really black tie?
It is very rude to put "black tie" on an invitation, when you simply hope that your guests will dress up for your wedding.

CMGragain

ppgbeb said:

Hey lovely brides and wives,

I am making my own invitations for my Christmas themed wedding in December and am curious how to tell my guests to dress formal, a black tie affair. How would I put that on the invite?

Why don't you post your invitation wording here, and we can check it for you?  There are a few rules regarding wording for a wedding invitation.

LondonLisa

DIY=/= black tie unless you are a professional calligrapher and you are hand writing each invitation yourself or are a professional stationer with experience in engraving. 

Black tie is the level of hosting,  not the dress code. There is no way to tell guests how to dress politely. 

SP29

There is no way to tell your guests how to dress, or to make them dress modestly.

As said above, the only time you can dictate attire is a black tie event, a requirement from the venue (i.e. jackets for men), or a requirement from the ceremony venue if it is a place of worship (no shoulders visible).

Other than that, your guests are adults and are free to dress themselves as they please. Generally speaking, someone who may not dress appropriately for an event is not the person who is going to change it all around because you wrote an attire note on the invitation. 

MobKaz

ppgbeb said:

AddieCake said:

Is your wedding truly black tie with all the trimmings that entails? Or are you just calling it that in the hopes that people will dress up more? And I agree with Elizabeth that formal does not equal modest. My more formal dresses are actually my most revealing ones. 

Yes it truly is, my family doesn't do it any other way with weddings. I do indeed know what black tie means, I promise ladies! Haha. I've been to plenty black tie events.
I was simply asking if there's anyway to prevent people dressing un-modesty, I know it's going to happen.  Thank you for your input!
STARMOON44 said:

For example, I might wear this to a black tie wedding next month:

http://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/la-femme-satin-gown/4525063?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=FOREST GREEN

That dress is so cute!!! I love it! It'll look gorgeous. (I mean like someone bending over and their baby maker hangs out.. Yes.. I have seen it happen at weddings, yuck..)  Thank you for showing me your gorgeous dress!

climbingwife said:

Nope.  You don't put black tie on the invite unless it's a truly black tie event. It sounds like you're just trying to keep female guests from dressing too risqué? Which - why do you even care? 

It is truly a black tie event. I was simply asking if it was something preventable, never said I cared, just asking advice. 

downtondiva said:

Beyond putting "black tie" on the invitation as @STARMOON44 said, you cannot dictate exactly how your guests dress for your wedding. Modesty and formality don't have anything to do with each other these days; many evening gowns are very revealing. I'm not sure why this would bother you.

The only time you should concern yourself with the modesty (or lack thereof) of your female guests' attire is if your ceremony is in a house of worship that will not allow them in if they are showing too much skin. And if that is an issue, it should be discussed on your wedding website and by word-of-mouth, not on the invitation. 

It doesn't bother me, I was simply asking a question! Thank you for the advice!

However does someone's ovaries hang out from a dress?

Heffalump

ppgbeb said:

AddieCake said:

Is your wedding truly black tie with all the trimmings that entails? Or are you just calling it that in the hopes that people will dress up more? And I agree with Elizabeth that formal does not equal modest. My more formal dresses are actually my most revealing ones. 

Yes it truly is, my family doesn't do it any other way with weddings. I do indeed know what black tie means, I promise ladies! Haha. I've been to plenty black tie events.
I was simply asking if there's anyway to prevent people dressing un-modesty, I know it's going to happen.  Thank you for your input!

climbingwife said:

Nope.  You don't put black tie on the invite unless it's a truly black tie event. It sounds like you're just trying to keep female guests from dressing too risqué? Which - why do you even care? 

It is truly a black tie event. I was simply asking if it was something preventable, never said I cared, just asking advice.

I'm...confused.  Your wedding is really, truly, deeply black tie.  Okay.  Your family doesn't do it any other way.  You promise, cross your heart and hope to die, that you know precisely what it entails.  You've been to ever so many black tie events.

So then how is it that you have no idea how to indicate this on your (DIY) invitations?  And why would you even bring up modesty WRT black tie, knowing--as you do--exactly what BT does and does not entail?

banana468

ppgbeb said

@Viczaesar Well I'm sorry you feel that way when I do designs online and I've designed websites? You have not even seen it, so why is it being judged as not black tie? Lol

Designing an invitation and designing a website aren't the same thing.   

I'd hope you do have access to a company that will engrave the invitations.    If you don't then you'll want to ensure that you're designing something to print within their standard margins and there aren't extra fees for processing artwork submitted that deviates from their standard.    

I work in printing and can tell you that there's often a lack of understanding from how something looks on a monitor to how it looks on paper.   

Oh, and a printing press isn't a copy machine.   So you'll also want to ensure you give plenty of lead time for anything that needs custom engraving.   They won't be done at Staples by tomorrow.   Factor a minimum of 4 weeks from proof approval to be safe.