Wedding Woes

Caution: Petty vent inside

First, our school district is crazy.  Parents quite regularly hold back July and August birthdays and even some do for MAY.  6let had regular kids turning SEVEN in kindergarten.

My neighbor's son is a July.  They sent him to private kindergarten last year at 5 and public kinder this year at 6.  M2 turns 6 in March.  The kids are in the same class with the same teacher.  My neighbor keeps trying to compare the two kids and it's driving me insane.  My kid has a loose tooth how about M2?  He's on a two wheel bike how about her?  She just sent me a message that her son leveled up in reading and then immediately asked where M2 was.  I KNOW it's to compare them

I keep biting my tongue, but dude, her kid is a full 8 MONTHS older than mine and is essentially repeating kindergarten.  He SHOULD be ahead of her for physical things and reading levels.

FWIW (because I'm petty) our kids are on the same reading level, learned to ride bikes within a week of each other, but mine can also tie her shoes, and do cartwheels off the balance beam.  The only place she's behind is teeth. Whoppty shit.

Re: Caution: Petty vent inside

  • that would be super annoying
  • What do you say in moments like this? I would be so irked and probably be snarky or sarcastic. That's just annoying and my goal is never to be that mom
  • That is so annoying! I hate when parents try to one up you with their kids.
  • I feel bad for the kid. I imagine he'll grow up never being happy with himself & always comparing himself to everyone around him. :(
  • I pretty much just cheer on her son when I see him doing good things and state factually other stuff- reading level, nope no loose teeth.

    It's kind of odd too because our older kids are the same age, but she never tries to compare them.  I pretty much just look at my kids as perfectly average kids and I'm perfectly happy with that. 
  • Unfortunately, some parents see their children as ego extensions of themselves.  This can be really hard on a child.
    There is nothing wonderful about being a child who is gifted, especially when the parents put pressure on that child to exceed his peers.  Been there.
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  • 6fsn said:
    First, our school district is crazy.  Parents quite regularly hold back July and August birthdays and even some do for MAY.  6let had regular kids turning SEVEN in kindergarten.

    My neighbor's son is a July.  They sent him to private kindergarten last year at 5 and public kinder this year at 6.  M2 turns 6 in March.  The kids are in the same class with the same teacher.  My neighbor keeps trying to compare the two kids and it's driving me insane.  My kid has a loose tooth how about M2?  He's on a two wheel bike how about her?  She just sent me a message that her son leveled up in reading and then immediately asked where M2 was.  I KNOW it's to compare them

    I keep biting my tongue, but dude, her kid is a full 8 MONTHS older than mine and is essentially repeating kindergarten.  He SHOULD be ahead of her for physical things and reading levels.

    FWIW (because I'm petty) our kids are on the same reading level, learned to ride bikes within a week of each other, but mine can also tie her shoes, and do cartwheels off the balance beam.  The only place she's behind is teeth. Whoppty shit.

    7 in Kindergarten? Holy Fuck! 

    As long as your kid is 4 by December 31 of the year, they can start JK up here. They don't have to be enrolled in school until they are 6 ( or turning 6 by December 31) and at that point they are put into grade one. 

    I hate the whole comparison thing. Kids do things at their own pace. Once you start looking at other kids at comparing yours, you're just asking for trouble. I'm just happy that my kid is potty trained. Still not sure how it happened, but it did.
  • I think it's great for kids to be held back. I think they get put into school way too early.

    But, that mom is kind of crazy. Assuming they were the same age, does it matter if one has a loose tooth a bit sooner or learns to read a bit sooner? In 10 years, will anyone know or care and will anyone brag about their kid reading first or walking first or whatever? No. It's dumb. 
  • I don't think it's petty.  I can't stand adults who do it in real life.  I had a co-worker once that I wanted to start saying, "Have you ever done "X"?  B/c if yes, I'm just not going to tell my fucking story, okay?"  Everything she had always done bigger, better, or worse depending on how it needed to go.  By the end of my time there, I loathed her.
  • Ugh, I hate one-uppers. Seriously, get over yourself. We can all have the same or different "things"!
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2017
    Both of my kids were sent to a special public school for "TAG" student.  (Talented and gifted - I hate that label!)  They school tested the kids and singled out the ones who performed for eligibility, and then informed the parents.

    What a group of competitive parents!  They were all over me, asking to compare scores on the test.  I declined to play their game.  Everybody knew what their kids scored.  Nobody knew that my kids both had the highest score in the county, and I never told anyone, including my kids, until they were adults.   I asked school administration not to reveal it to anyone.

    Years later, I ran into the former principal of the TAG school, and he complimented me on my attitude.  He said that three years of dealing with those narcissistic, competitive parents of TAG kids was enough for him, and he retired!
    "But my little Johnnie is SO SMART!"  Ew!
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  • I was a TAG kid too - but my parents were reasonable about stuff. Like @CMGragain my parents didn't tell me my IQ until I was an adult. Some of the other kids? Wow. Their parents were psychotically competitive. 
  • Could you be sarcastic like @*Barbie*?   "I know she's only in elementary school but she's already getting her wisdom teeth and she's been approached for selling wrinkle cream." 
  • I think you're handling it well, @6fsn, with staying positive about the neighbor's sons accomplishments.  Though I understand your irritation.

    I'm going to play armchair psychologist for a moment.  Especially since she doesn't compare your all's older children, I wonder if what is going on is that her younger son IS behind (or she is worried he is) where he should be.  And her concern about that manifests itself in constant "look how great he is" to others, because she is really trying to reassure herself.

    On a personal note, my birthday is in late November.  I made the kindergarten cut-off by less than two weeks (had to be 5 by Dec. 1st), so most of the kids in my class were 6-12 months older than me.  That's tough when you're only 4 years old!

    I did well academically, but was WAY behind the curve physically, ie with sports.  I started life with a negative view on sports and outdoor activities because I was "bad" at it.  I've sometimes wondered if that would have been different, had I started school a year later. 

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  • I think Sassy has a good point. She might compare because she is worried in the back of her mind.
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  • You can't know what you don't know.  

    And knowing the why behind the what doesn't make how she goes about this type of business less annoying. 
  • I think you're handling it well, @6fsn, with staying positive about the neighbor's sons accomplishments.  Though I understand your irritation.

    I'm going to play armchair psychologist for a moment.  Especially since she doesn't compare your all's older children, I wonder if what is going on is that her younger son IS behind (or she is worried he is) where he should be.  And her concern about that manifests itself in constant "look how great he is" to others, because she is really trying to reassure herself.

    On a personal note, my birthday is in late November.  I made the kindergarten cut-off by less than two weeks (had to be 5 by Dec. 1st), so most of the kids in my class were 6-12 months older than me.  That's tough when you're only 4 years old!

    I did well academically, but was WAY behind the curve physically, ie with sports.  I started life with a negative view on sports and outdoor activities because I was "bad" at it.  I've sometimes wondered if that would have been different, had I started school a year later. 

    I'm an October baby but I'm very tall and have always been ahead of the curve physically. I think whether you are good at sports has more to do with genetics than when you are born.

     I think if we stop pressuring our kids and just let them learn and play at their own speed, everyone would be better off.
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