Pre-wedding Parties

Too Far For A Bachelorette Party?

My MOH wants me to give her the names of all my female friends so that she can invite them to my bachelorette party. The problem is:

A. I don't have many female friends. Like, I have 3 locally (MOH included) and one will definitely not come to a b-party because she is the type to prefer one-on-one social interaction. 

B. The female friends I DO have live 3 hours away. 

Should I have her invite those far away ladies anyway?  I understand and agree that only women invited to the wedding can be invited to the b-party.  I just feel weird being like "please travel all the way down here for a party". I know it's my MOH hosting and inviting, I just feel awkward about it. But I DO want a b-party because I do like going out and doing fun things with my friends. Is 3 hours too far to travel?  Should I at least give them the option to participate?  I've been excluded from pre-wedding parties (for weddings I was invited to) because I live far away, and that made me sad and a bit insulted actually. Even if I couldn't attend being invited is nice. Maybe that's my answer right there but I am interested in your opinions :smile:

P.S. I am declining a shower because we aren't registering and don't need "stuff" since we are mid-30's and have been living together for 7 years. So this will be the only party any of these ladies will be invited to attend. 

Re: Too Far For A Bachelorette Party?

  • I know its hard to ignore all the pinterest stuff: destination bachlorett parties with 20 women all in matching tank tops and color coordinated outfits but try and do that. Even if your 3 3-hour away friends and the one that likes one on one can't make it there's still the 2 local ones. An awesome day and night out with two close friends sounds great. Plus you're less likely to run into drama with transportation, who rooms with who and paying $$$ for hotels, traveling, splitting the bill, doing activities everyone will have fun doing etc.

    But yeah invite who you want, they can say no if they don't want to to travel.


    kwiksilvercowgirl8238
  • Definitely invite them! Everyone has different opinions of what "far away" is. I drive a lot for work, so a 3 hour drive for me is nothing. And they always have the option to decline the invitation. 
    kwiksilverSTARMOON44bookmaiden17_cowgirl8238
  • lnixon8 said:
    I know its hard to ignore all the pinterest stuff: destination bachlorett parties with 20 women all in matching tank tops and color coordinated outfits but try and do that. Even if your 3 3-hour away friends and the one that likes one on one can't make it there's still the 2 local ones. An awesome day and night out with two close friends sounds great. Plus you're less likely to run into drama with transportation, who rooms with who and paying $$$ for hotels, traveling, splitting the bill, doing activities everyone will have fun doing etc.

    But yeah invite who you want, they can say no if they don't want to to travel.
    Oh I have no mental attachment to a large party with matching clothes LOL. I just wasn't sure if it made sense to invite people from far and wide. I would have a fine time with my MOH and our other mutual local pal. I don't think this needs to be a big to-do by any means :smile:
  • lnixon8 said:
    I know its hard to ignore all the pinterest stuff: destination bachlorett parties with 20 women all in matching tank tops and color coordinated outfits but try and do that. Even if your 3 3-hour away friends and the one that likes one on one can't make it there's still the 2 local ones. An awesome day and night out with two close friends sounds great. Plus you're less likely to run into drama with transportation, who rooms with who and paying $$$ for hotels, traveling, splitting the bill, doing activities everyone will have fun doing etc.

    But yeah invite who you want, they can say no if they don't want to to travel.
    Oh I have no mental attachment to a large party with matching clothes LOL. I just wasn't sure if it made sense to invite people from far and wide. I would have a fine time with my MOH and our other mutual local pal. I don't think this needs to be a big to-do by any means :smile:
    Gotcha! I've just been to a couple of these where it was more about spending $ and getting instagram likes on #squadgoals, than having fun with your nearest and dearest


    kwiksilver
  • Uhhh yeah 3 hours is like nothing, you should definitely invite them. If they have too much stuff going on they won't come, but there's no way I would decline a bach party 3 hours away for someone I cared about. 
    STARMOON44kwiksilver
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Invite them. I would absolutely drive 3 hours for a friend's bach party. 

    STARMOON44kwiksilverbookmaiden17_
  • Count me in as another vote for would absolutely drive that distance for a friends bach party if I had the time off/money for it.
    image
    kwiksilver
  • I would drive that far for a bach if it were a good friend. I'd probably want to spend the night though, especially if the festivities involved evening drinking. Can they stay with you?
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    image
    kwiksilver
  • I would drive that far for a bach if it were a good friend. I'd probably want to spend the night though, especially if the festivities involved evening drinking. Can they stay with you?
    They can!  I have room for quite a few people here, so that offer can be on the table.  I know at least one of the ladies has a boyfriend down here she can stay with, and another has a sister in my town whom she can bunk with.  So I think with our social network we can manage free accommodations for all.
    SP29ahoyweddingcowgirl8238short+sassy
  • Just chiming in to stay I would definitely drive 3 hours for a good friends party. Also, I prefer small parties of close friends, to large parties of acquaintances. Sounds like your MOH is planning a lovely event. 
    SP29kwiksilvereileenrobshort+sassy
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Good choice- invite them!

    Even if they can't come, you are right, it is still nice to be invited. I was invited to a friend's B party back in January, which would be a 3.5 hour plane flight. I did not go, but it was still nice to be invited and know she was thinking of me.
    kwiksilver
  • OP - I already answered but I wanted to give a little more color. I moved a 6 hour flight from most of my closest friends and family about two years ago following an awesome job opportunity. I make it back for the big events. I am not struggling financially (due to aforementioned job opportunity :smile:
    ) so I make it a priority to come back for the big stuff. And for me, that includes bachelorette parties and weddings (less so showers). So, I'm not always able to make it, it's far and expensive at times, but I ALWAYS like the invite, and never feel like it's a "summons" as people say. It's nice to know I' mstill part of the crew, even if I can't make it.
    charlotte989875SP29
  • I have driven farther for a friends' bach party. Definitely include them. 
    kwiksilver
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    I would drive that far for a bach if it were a good friend. I'd probably want to spend the night though, especially if the festivities involved evening drinking. Can they stay with you?
    They can!  I have room for quite a few people here, so that offer can be on the table.  I know at least one of the ladies has a boyfriend down here she can stay with, and another has a sister in my town whom she can bunk with.  So I think with our social network we can manage free accommodations for all.
    This makes it a "no-brainer" then as far as I am concerned.  The other option is to literally meet in the middle somewhere, but the downside to that would be everyone would probably add a hotel cost to the event.  I would rather drive the additional 90 minutes if I knew I had somewhere comfy and free to stay!
    kwiksilvercharlotte989875SP29
  • I think you should let your MOH do the inviting and see how it pans out. Maybe your girls are excited and want to be there for you! You could do something in a city in the middle of you guys but really it's up to you. Also let them throw you a shower it's your time to shine. I have a friend and her and her fiancé just did a co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party. Like you, they've been together awhile and they got everyone together to celebrate. You could also do something more informal like that, if you're worried about the number of women being able to make it. Personally it wouldn't be my taste but I thought it was a creative idea
  • I would drive further than that for my girls! At least invite them and give them the opportunity to say no, even if it clears your conscience (can't spell it)
    kwiksilver
  • Ditto PPs, I would (and have) driven further than that for friends, as long as I had a place to stay! I had a few friends from about 2.5-3 hours away come to my bach and stayed with us. Invite them!!
    kwiksilver
  • I would definitely drive that far for a good friend, just to echo. 
    And don't let anyone make you feel badly for declining a shower, because that's your personal preference, and it sounds like you did declined gracefully. (Plus it would look not-so-great if you turned around and said "Just kidding! Throw me a party!") Plenty of people don't have one, and I think it's just fine not to. 
    SP29MyNameIsNotcharlotte989875
  • I would drive the distance for my friend bachelorette party no matter the distance. If my best friend invited me to her bachelorette party I would be there. She is everything to me. I have a very small friend group that are just women. I totally understand this problem. They all live in MA where I went to college. I think you should throw bachelorette party! Its more fun any way with your closer friend group. 
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    I would drive the distance for my friend bachelorette party no matter the distance. If my best friend invited me to her bachelorette party I would be there. She is everything to me. I have a very small friend group that are just women. I totally understand this problem. They all live in MA where I went to college. I think you should throw bachelorette party! Its more fun any way with your closer friend group. 
    This thread began back in February.  The OP has already married.

    When you want to respond to a thread, it's best to check the original date of the OP, as well as the date of the last response.  This post basically "died" the first of March and is now considered a "zombie" thread.
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