Wedding Woes

Four friggin' men...

Dear Prudence,

My husband says he loves me and wants to stay with me, but it seems like I make him miserable. He is always angry or upset about something and won’t end things with his mistress, whom I really do not like (we’ve had an open relationship in the past but don’t now). She seems to make him happier than I do. I love it when he is happy and miss being the one who makes him happy. What can I do?

—Can’t Make Him Happy

Re: Four friggin' men...

  • Leave? Take a solo vacation and see if anything changes. Counseling? Couldn't hurt. 
  • My knee-jerk reaction is end the marriage.  I only hesitate because the LW seems to still love or at care deeply for her husband.  (She loves seeing him happy, wants to be close.). I'd see a marriage counselor asap- if husband doesn't want to, that'd tell me a lot.
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Yeah, I mean, I'm not one to say "leave him" without knowing all the details, but the whole "won't leave his mistress" thing would absolutely be the end for me. What an ass. 

  • LW can leave without ending the marriage. Trial separation? Separate living spaces temporarily? Lots of options. 

    But really, sounds like he is making a choice without having to actually make a choice. 
  • Sounds to me like he is enjoying his time with his mistress more than the LW.  I mean I would try counseling first, but to me this is already over. 

    So much this.  TBH, I'm not even sure I would try counseling.  He sounds like he's doing fine: happy with his mistress, a wife who wants to please him and apparently won't speak up, even when she's unhappy. 

  • If there wasn't a mistress in place I'd say maybe counseling would help but with that detail I'm not sure it will since he seems happy with someone else.
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    WTELF??? Why would you put yourself through this? Go get counseling by yourself because you need to learn your self worth. No one deserves what you're being put through. The reason he's unhappy and angry towards you, is that he wants you to end the relationship so he can tell himself it's not his fault.
  • Sounds a little like homeboy is angry that they closed the open relationship. He clearly wasn't ready for that if he is still seeing someone else. 
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