Thursday

thefanciestbeckler

short+sassy said:

sparklepants41 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

sparklepants41 said:

@thefanciestbeckler & @short+sassy - I told her she needs to report her boss. Her boss has said shitty things repeatedly before, but nothing as serious as threatening bodily harm. Part of the problem is that my friend is typically not one to want to ruffle feathers, so she has just been shrugging off her boss' previous unprofessional behavior, and I fear she is going to do the same with today's escalation. 

My concern is that it would actually escalate to physical harm at some point. I probably watch too much crime TV. I just don't trust people who say things like that. 

I completely agree. 

So true.  Sure, people say things in anger that they don't mean.  Though I'm not excusing that.  But most people show more restraint at work than they do in other situations.  The fact that your friend's boss didn't is definitely a lack of control and that's concerning.  A hostile work environment can sometimes be a gray issue.  But threatening physical harm puts that square into the "hostile" category.

When I first started at my current job, there were two employees who had cubicles next to each other and they disliked each other.  Guy A played his music too loud and Guy B didn't like it.  Guy B would vape in the office and Guy A didn't like that.  One day, they were in a verbal fight and Guy A said something about "he better not ever catch him outside the office or he'd beat him up".  Something like that.  He was fired the next day.  THAT'S how it should work!

Yes it is how it should work! I'm one to think that if you say it, you're thinking it, and if you're thinking it you're capable of acting on it. Especially since people usually use more restraint at work, like you said. 

sparklepants41

short+sassy said:

sparklepants41 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

sparklepants41 said:

@thefanciestbeckler & @short+sassy - I told her she needs to report her boss. Her boss has said shitty things repeatedly before, but nothing as serious as threatening bodily harm. Part of the problem is that my friend is typically not one to want to ruffle feathers, so she has just been shrugging off her boss' previous unprofessional behavior, and I fear she is going to do the same with today's escalation. 

My concern is that it would actually escalate to physical harm at some point. I probably watch too much crime TV. I just don't trust people who say things like that. 

I completely agree. 

So true.  Sure, people say things in anger that they don't mean.  Though I'm not excusing that.  But most people show more restraint at work than they do in other situations.  The fact that your friend's boss didn't is definitely a lack of control and that's concerning.  A hostile work environment can sometimes be a gray issue.  But threatening physical harm puts that square into the "hostile" category.

When I first started at my current job, there were two employees who had cubicles next to each other and they disliked each other.  Guy A played his music too loud and Guy B didn't like it.  Guy B would vape in the office and Guy A didn't like that.  One day, they were in a verbal fight and Guy A said something about "he better not ever catch him outside the office or he'd beat him up".  Something like that.  He was fired the next day.  THAT'S how it should work!

Her husband works at the company too. At the very least she will tell him and he will definitely report that if she doesn't. 

charlotte989875

sparklepants41 said:

short+sassy said:

sparklepants41 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

sparklepants41 said:

@thefanciestbeckler & @short+sassy - I told her she needs to report her boss. Her boss has said shitty things repeatedly before, but nothing as serious as threatening bodily harm. Part of the problem is that my friend is typically not one to want to ruffle feathers, so she has just been shrugging off her boss' previous unprofessional behavior, and I fear she is going to do the same with today's escalation. 

My concern is that it would actually escalate to physical harm at some point. I probably watch too much crime TV. I just don't trust people who say things like that. 

I completely agree. 

So true.  Sure, people say things in anger that they don't mean.  Though I'm not excusing that.  But most people show more restraint at work than they do in other situations.  The fact that your friend's boss didn't is definitely a lack of control and that's concerning.  A hostile work environment can sometimes be a gray issue.  But threatening physical harm puts that square into the "hostile" category.

When I first started at my current job, there were two employees who had cubicles next to each other and they disliked each other.  Guy A played his music too loud and Guy B didn't like it.  Guy B would vape in the office and Guy A didn't like that.  One day, they were in a verbal fight and Guy A said something about "he better not ever catch him outside the office or he'd beat him up".  Something like that.  He was fired the next day.  THAT'S how it should work!

Her husband works at the company too. At the very least she will tell him and he will definitely report that if she doesn't. 

Did anyone else hear this exchange? If so she should get them to make a statement as well. 

sparklepants41

charlotte989875 said:

sparklepants41 said:

short+sassy said:

sparklepants41 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

sparklepants41 said:

@thefanciestbeckler & @short+sassy - I told her she needs to report her boss. Her boss has said shitty things repeatedly before, but nothing as serious as threatening bodily harm. Part of the problem is that my friend is typically not one to want to ruffle feathers, so she has just been shrugging off her boss' previous unprofessional behavior, and I fear she is going to do the same with today's escalation. 

My concern is that it would actually escalate to physical harm at some point. I probably watch too much crime TV. I just don't trust people who say things like that. 

I completely agree. 

So true.  Sure, people say things in anger that they don't mean.  Though I'm not excusing that.  But most people show more restraint at work than they do in other situations.  The fact that your friend's boss didn't is definitely a lack of control and that's concerning.  A hostile work environment can sometimes be a gray issue.  But threatening physical harm puts that square into the "hostile" category.

When I first started at my current job, there were two employees who had cubicles next to each other and they disliked each other.  Guy A played his music too loud and Guy B didn't like it.  Guy B would vape in the office and Guy A didn't like that.  One day, they were in a verbal fight and Guy A said something about "he better not ever catch him outside the office or he'd beat him up".  Something like that.  He was fired the next day.  THAT'S how it should work!

Her husband works at the company too. At the very least she will tell him and he will definitely report that if she doesn't. 

Did anyone else hear this exchange? If so she should get them to make a statement as well. 

I will ask her - that's a really good point!

Heffalump

Woo-hoo!  Done with my meeting, and it didn't even take the full day!

This is the play, y'all.  I googled it.  https://www.musick8.com/store/alphadetail.php?product_group=2058

"Celebrate the circle of life with this cleverly-written 20-minute musical for primary-age students..."

A. It looks cute!
B.  I have now spent more time reading emails about it and then discussing those emails than I will actually spend watching it.

I'm venty today.  My FSIL has been absolutely lovely, but she's driving me a little crazy this week.  On Monday, I booked our hotel for the two nights we'll be up in Norfolk for the wedding.  I let her know, because she had been asking.  She said great, and then she texted again to say that there was an issue with the payment.  Which was weird, because I asked if they took Visa (our card that gets boku points) and the reservations person said sure, and she ran it while we were on the phone.  So I texted back oh no, I'll call them right away.

By then it was afternoon, which was evening at the hotel, and my calls kept going to voicemail.  So I left a message.  The next morning, I woke up to a text from FSIL asking if it had been "sorted," which makes sense since she's several hours ahead.  When I called, they said someone else was on the computer, and they'd call back.  They didn't call back.  FSIL texted again.  I got a live person, who said it was fine.  Yay.  Then FSIL texted asking whether they took the full amount.  I said no, just the deposit.  She said she thought it was supposed to be the full amount.  I thought that was odd, but whatever.  I called the hotel, got the person who originally took our reservation, and she was basically like "Pardon?  No, just the deposit, we don't post the balance until your arrival."  Okay, thanks so much, cheerio. 

Now my brother is texting me saying that he heard from FSIL that there's some kind of issue with the hotel, and does he need to get involved?  He's trying to be helpful, I appreciate it, but like the musical, this is taking up a hugely disproportionate share of my time and mental resources this week.  It's a hotel room.  It's booked.  Deposit is paid.  They don't want the balance until we arrive on their doorstep.  Can we all please move on now???

/vent

sparklepants41

@Heffalump that play sounds adorable! And holy stress with the wedding hotel, Batman! After all that runaround, you deserve an enormous glass of wine.

MissKittyDanger

@Heffalump  yay for meeting to be shorter than expected That musical sounds cute and really funny lmao

Holy hotel drama ... jeezus!

mrsconn23

short+sassy said:

sparklepants41 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

sparklepants41 said:

@thefanciestbeckler & @short+sassy - I told her she needs to report her boss. Her boss has said shitty things repeatedly before, but nothing as serious as threatening bodily harm. Part of the problem is that my friend is typically not one to want to ruffle feathers, so she has just been shrugging off her boss' previous unprofessional behavior, and I fear she is going to do the same with today's escalation. 

My concern is that it would actually escalate to physical harm at some point. I probably watch too much crime TV. I just don't trust people who say things like that. 

I completely agree. 

So true.  Sure, people say things in anger that they don't mean.  Though I'm not excusing that.  But most people show more restraint at work than they do in other situations.  The fact that your friend's boss didn't is definitely a lack of control and that's concerning.  A hostile work environment can sometimes be a gray issue.  But threatening physical harm puts that square into the "hostile" category.

When I first started at my current job, there were two employees who had cubicles next to each other and they disliked each other.  Guy A played his music too loud and Guy B didn't like it.  Guy B would vape in the office and Guy A didn't like that.  One day, they were in a verbal fight and Guy A said something about "he better not ever catch him outside the office or he'd beat him up".  Something like that.  He was fired the next day.  THAT'S how it should work!

DH had a situation in the last year (between a man and a woman).  BOTH people made threats (I think the woman even had someone show up to intimidate the guy...but the guy then made a threat against the guy who showed up to intimidate him), and BOTH people got fired.  

She needs to go above her boss, now.  And she needs to document today's issue, along with any other dates and times she can remember.   If something happens OR she gets fired, it's important to have evidence of a hostile and dangerous environment. That is fucking crazy...I cannot imagine threatening ANYone at work with violence. 

sparklepants41

mrsconn23 said:

short+sassy said:

sparklepants41 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

sparklepants41 said:

@thefanciestbeckler & @short+sassy - I told her she needs to report her boss. Her boss has said shitty things repeatedly before, but nothing as serious as threatening bodily harm. Part of the problem is that my friend is typically not one to want to ruffle feathers, so she has just been shrugging off her boss' previous unprofessional behavior, and I fear she is going to do the same with today's escalation. 

My concern is that it would actually escalate to physical harm at some point. I probably watch too much crime TV. I just don't trust people who say things like that. 

I completely agree. 

So true.  Sure, people say things in anger that they don't mean.  Though I'm not excusing that.  But most people show more restraint at work than they do in other situations.  The fact that your friend's boss didn't is definitely a lack of control and that's concerning.  A hostile work environment can sometimes be a gray issue.  But threatening physical harm puts that square into the "hostile" category.

When I first started at my current job, there were two employees who had cubicles next to each other and they disliked each other.  Guy A played his music too loud and Guy B didn't like it.  Guy B would vape in the office and Guy A didn't like that.  One day, they were in a verbal fight and Guy A said something about "he better not ever catch him outside the office or he'd beat him up".  Something like that.  He was fired the next day.  THAT'S how it should work!

DH had a situation in the last year (between a man and a woman).  BOTH people made threats (I think the woman even had someone show up to intimidate the guy...but the guy then made a threat against the guy who showed up to intimidate him), and BOTH people got fired.  

She needs to go above her boss, now.  And she needs to document today's issue, along with any other dates and times she can remember.   If something happens OR she gets fired, it's important to have evidence of a hostile and dangerous environment. That is fucking crazy...I cannot imagine threatening ANYone at work with violence. 

I completely agree. That's what I told her earlier today. This woman has been at that firm for nearly two decades - I have no idea how she's lasted that long TBH. I know my friend was really shaken up this morning by the incident, but I'm hoping once she regroups she'll take it to her boss' boss. 

short+sassy

sparklepants41 said:

mrsconn23 said:

short+sassy said:

sparklepants41 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

sparklepants41 said:

@thefanciestbeckler & @short+sassy - I told her she needs to report her boss. Her boss has said shitty things repeatedly before, but nothing as serious as threatening bodily harm. Part of the problem is that my friend is typically not one to want to ruffle feathers, so she has just been shrugging off her boss' previous unprofessional behavior, and I fear she is going to do the same with today's escalation. 

My concern is that it would actually escalate to physical harm at some point. I probably watch too much crime TV. I just don't trust people who say things like that. 

I completely agree. 

So true.  Sure, people say things in anger that they don't mean.  Though I'm not excusing that.  But most people show more restraint at work than they do in other situations.  The fact that your friend's boss didn't is definitely a lack of control and that's concerning.  A hostile work environment can sometimes be a gray issue.  But threatening physical harm puts that square into the "hostile" category.

When I first started at my current job, there were two employees who had cubicles next to each other and they disliked each other.  Guy A played his music too loud and Guy B didn't like it.  Guy B would vape in the office and Guy A didn't like that.  One day, they were in a verbal fight and Guy A said something about "he better not ever catch him outside the office or he'd beat him up".  Something like that.  He was fired the next day.  THAT'S how it should work!

DH had a situation in the last year (between a man and a woman).  BOTH people made threats (I think the woman even had someone show up to intimidate the guy...but the guy then made a threat against the guy who showed up to intimidate him), and BOTH people got fired.  

She needs to go above her boss, now.  And she needs to document today's issue, along with any other dates and times she can remember.   If something happens OR she gets fired, it's important to have evidence of a hostile and dangerous environment. That is fucking crazy...I cannot imagine threatening ANYone at work with violence. 

I completely agree. That's what I told her earlier today. This woman has been at that firm for nearly two decades - I have no idea how she's lasted that long TBH. I know my friend was really shaken up this morning by the incident, but I'm hoping once she regroups she'll take it to her boss' boss. 

Oh yeah!  I know you said there isn't an HR.  But if there is someone above her boss, that is exactly who she should be speaking to.

I used to be the asst. manager at a big gas station/convenience store.  We had a variety of managers, but one of them was a real piece of work.  He was verbally abusive, though never threatened anyone physically (that I know of).

This manager and the company were facing a group lawsuit for harassment, from employees at the previous store he managed.  So what does the company do?  Move him to my store while the lawsuit is pending, smh.

One day, one of our cashiers came to me and told me this guy had called her a "puta", when he was annoyed with her for a minor transgression.  Which is Spanish for whore.  He's not of Hispanic descent (not that it matters)...but she is.  Racism and inappropriate language in the workplace all rolled into one.  That was my final straw.  I asked her if it was okay with her if I reported it to HR.  She told me she wasn't going to report it to HR, but didn't mind if I did.  I knew it would be fruitless, but did anyway.  To my surprise, some company investigators came to our store and interviewed everyone individually.  It was VERY general questions along the lines of we felt harassed or threatened by any other employees, vendors, or customers.  Buuuttt, that was it.  Nothing ever came of it.  He was still working there when I left.

OurWildKingdom

VarunaTT said:

So, I think my ex-DH is abandoning our dogs (they went to my parents in the divorce and we have alternating weekends of visitation).  Which, TBH, I'm not surprised about.  He hasn't seen them in over a month b/c he hasn't made the effort to.  However, through the grape vine, I've been told that new GF has said they're getting a new dog.  And for some reason that really hurts.  So, screw him.  I'll continue loving up my dogs that are perfect in every way.

Nurses make the worst patients.  Seriously, if K ever has to undergo more serious surgery than her wisdom teeth removal, I might have to farm out her care.  We'll get through it.  She's not very swollen, so that's good.  Her jaw hurting is the main problem.

I need a vacation.  I'm trying to decide if I should give in to the wanderlust and run off this weekend or if I should hibernate at home.  It's supposed to rain all weekend too.  

Your xH is a real piece of work. The dogs will be better off without him.

Sending healing vibes for K. I hope she doesn't get dry sockets like I did -- those are no bueno!

OurWildKingdom

NiceKindaSpice said:

@Heffalump On the bright side, she cares! But 3 emails is so tedious, goodness gracious.

A few months ago, I found out my degree and license in accounting is practically useless where FI lives (and I'm planning to move). Today I got accepted into a chartered accountancy program there and I'm grateful. But it's an additional 3 years and that irritates me. I feel like the tears I put in here are useless. 

What a bummer! I'm sorry. 

OurWildKingdom

Hi WW!

My cold appears to be back. Time to start stocking up on vitamin C and immune support tea.

Work was better today, but I'm dreading next week already. My boss is going to be out all next week because her mother is ill, the managing attorney is going to be in court most of the week, one assistant attorney is going to be on vacation, and another is probably going on paternity leave. We also have a new assistant attorney starting next week. Oy vey.

No meditation meeting tonight; my friend who runs the meeting is house- and pet-sitting one county away. Going to have to settle for a book study tonight.

CharmedPam

OurWildKingdom said:

Hi WW!

My cold appears to be back. Time to start stocking up on vitamin C and immune support tea.

Work was better today, but I'm dreading next week already. My boss is going to be out all next week because her mother is ill, the managing attorney is going to be in court most of the week, one assistant attorney is going to be on vacation, and another is probably going on paternity leave. We also have a new assistant attorney starting next week. Oy vey.

No meditation meeting tonight; my friend who runs the meeting is house- and pet-sitting one county away. Going to have to settle for a book study tonight.

The person I support is away on vacation too.  So I've been surfing the internet all day.  I'd rather be busy.  I've been shopping like crazy and I don't have the money! (well, I mean physically I have it, but I have to save it and I'm the worst saver).

Have fun at book study!

bleve0821

Hi, WW.  It's been a rough couple of weeks.  I've been swamped at work and falling behind on chores because of the long hours at the office. I left work early today because I'm tired of these 60+ hour weeks and I miss my family (the pay is nice, but I'm seriously craving a little more hubby action than "Hi! Bye!")... Came home, took the dogs for a walk (Twiggy's knee is better but still not fully healed)... And the keypad on the garage door wouldn't work. And for literally the first time since we've moved in, all the doors to the house were locked. So I had to break a window because I couldn't wait 3 hours for DH to get home.

Also, my username is jacked, and I think there's a squirrel in the attic.  And my BFF had her baby last week and apparently had a placental abruption and almost died, so my dreams were full of her dying last night. Of course THOSE dreams I remember.

It's been a rough couple of weeks.

The good news is that the chest freezer I want will fit in the pantry, so yay for the little things. Oh, and the freeze last week didn't kill my tulips.

OurWildKingdom

Hugs to you, @atomicblonde-2! You sound like you need them!

OurWildKingdom

CharmedPam said:

OurWildKingdom said:

Hi WW!

My cold appears to be back. Time to start stocking up on vitamin C and immune support tea.

Work was better today, but I'm dreading next week already. My boss is going to be out all next week because her mother is ill, the managing attorney is going to be in court most of the week, one assistant attorney is going to be on vacation, and another is probably going on paternity leave. We also have a new assistant attorney starting next week. Oy vey.

No meditation meeting tonight; my friend who runs the meeting is house- and pet-sitting one county away. Going to have to settle for a book study tonight.

The person I support is away on vacation too.  So I've been surfing the internet all day.  I'd rather be busy.  I've been shopping like crazy and I don't have the money! (well, I mean physically I have it, but I have to save it and I'm the worst saver).

Have fun at book study!

Oh, I'll be plenty busy, but I'll be fielding a lot more questions than normal, plus dealing with irritated people who apparently begrudge any of us (especially my boss) having a life outside work.

I get paid tomorrow and so does FW. Must . . . Resist . . . Amazon! I have to remind myself that FSD has enough Easter stuff already, my Dad told me he doesn't want anything for his birthday, and I just ordered books that I haven't read yet.

short+sassy

@atomicblonde-2, it's good to see you back.  Don't think we don't recognize that slightly altered name .  But sorry TK was being a problem for you.

Your plate sounds so full and I'm sorry you're having a lot of bad stuff happening.  I'm writing you a Rx for wine and cupcakes.  How scary about your BFF!  I'm so glad she pulled through.  It's not surprising you are having bad dreams about it, but dreams like that can be so upsetting and disconcerting, even after you've woken up.

I had one a couple months ago where I was being operated on and I could hear the doctor yelling, "We're losing her!" and everyone in the OR was being frantic.  I woke up freaking out.  It was one of the most real dreams I've ever had.  Even after I was fully awake, I didn't understand why I was in my own bedroom.  I was positive I was just in the hospital.  I called for my H and it finally started dawning on me that it was maybe? probably? hopefully? a dream.  He came in and I asked him something like, "Is this really our bedroom?  Am I fine?  I wasn't in the hospital last night?"  I'm sure I sounded like a crazy person.  He's like, "No, you're fine.  You've been asleep in our bedroom all night.  Everything's okay."  But I was still a little haunted the rest of the day from that dream.  

thefanciestbeckler

Hugs @atomicblonde-2. I'm glad to see you back, though. I was wondering about you today. I'm sorry you have so much going on. It's too much for one person  

@OurWildKingdom I hope next week turns out to be a good one for you! Maybe it will fly by since you'll be so busy.