Wedding Toasts

Knottie1448131004

Currently in a bit of a conflict. My father isn't much of a public speaker and neither is the best man. My father will make a speech, but very briefly - nothing more than 30 seconds. Should I suggestion that my future father-in-law also speaks (in place of the best man) or should my future husband and I get up together for a speech? 

greeninspring

This is not something you should stress over. You can simply tell the best man and/or FFIL that they are welcome to give a toast if they'd like but don't put any pressure on them. It's fine if there is only one 30 second toast or if there are no toasts at all. If you and the groom want to stand up and thank your guests briefly that's also something you can do. No one has to give a toast so don't force certain people into giving one if they don't want to (not saying you would do that). 

charlotte989875

Knottie1448131004 said:

Currently in a bit of a conflict. My father isn't much of a public speaker and neither is the best man. My father will make a speech, but very briefly - nothing more than 30 seconds. Should I suggestion that my future father-in-law also speaks (in place of the best man) or should my future husband and I get up together for a speech? 

If someone wants to offer a toast they will. And you definitely don't need them if you don't want them or if no one offers or wants to do one. If you (or your FFIL or father) want to thank guests for coming that's great, but the 30 seconds you father has planned sounds just fine.

artbyallie

Speeches do not belong at weddings to begin with. A toast should not run over maybe a minute or two MAX. And you should thank your guests individually for coming, so you need to go around and greet them or have a receiving line even if you make some sort of general statement at the reception.

CMGragain

What is the purpose of a speech at your wedding reception?

Jen4948

By "speech" do you mean "toast" ?

I think 30 seconds is the right amount of time for that. But I'd let your FFIL volunteer for it rather than asking him to do it.

southernbelle0915

Why not your MIL? Have you considered whether your mother or his mother might want to make a toast? 

Sorry if I'm making assumptions, but it comes across as patriarchal that only your dad and his dad may be in the running. 

I would extend the offer to your PARENTS (not just your dad) and his PARENTS (not just his dad), if you want to go that route. The other option is to have zero toasts or just a "thank you" toast from you and your FI. That might take care of the "conflict" and simplify things. 

MandyMost

We had all of our parents (3 of them total) together give a 10-second welcome to the reception, right before dinner started. It was literally like one sentence. But they spent days writing and re-writing it. It was really cute. Then we had 2 toasts between the salad course and the main course. It was the bride's brother and the "best man" (although we didn't have an official bridal party). Essentially we both just asked someone if they'd like to give a toast.

It's fine to have a welcome or not, and 1 or 2 toasts or not. In your situation, I'd ask your dad to just do a quick welcome if he wants, and ask if your mother would like to join him for it. And this is because I'm assuming they contributed financially and the groom's parents did not? If everyone contributed, then either everyone or no one should be asked to do this. Then you could each ask someone to give a toast, or you could have just one person give a toast. It doesn't have to be the BM and MOH. Are there other members of the bridal party? Other close friends or relatives who you think might want to?