Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Deleted

Thank you for the responses.

Re: Deleted

  • We originally got married on the beach in Hawaii where we just had our island friends come to the ceremony in September.  It was extremely small and just us with the officiant and about 10 friends standing around us for support.  Now we are having the big ceremony and reception with the white dress and all the fun toasts/dances in April in New Jersey so our friends and families can all join us in the celebration.  Does anyone have any ideas of what we can do for the ceremony?  Since we just got married it technically wouldn't be much of a vow renewal and we're pretty stuck with what we should do, but we do want to do something since none of our family was able to make the first wedding.  Any ideas would be extremely helpful!
    You and your current spouse get only one wedding. And congratulations! It happened. It's over. No more matrimonial ceremonies. You've had one. It's valid. You can have a party to celebrate your marriage. but you're not the bride and groom in this party. You're husband and wife. You WERE bride and groom in September at your "first wedding" regardless of how few people witnessed it. 
    InLoveInQueensDrillSergeantCatcowgirl8238SP29
  • You are welcome to have what I like to call a "happily ever after party" to celebrate your recent marriage.  However, it's extremely inappropriate to have a ceremony, spotlight dances, wedding party, or other wedding things.  Have great food, music and dancing, a lovely dress (although I would personally discourage a wedding gown, some people think it's fine).  It's not a wedding though, and you definitely should not register or expect any gifts.  Toasts are kind of a know your crowd.  I think it's fine to have someone raise a glass to your marriage, but anything beyond that seems AWish and weird.


    InLoveInQueenscowgirl8238SP29
  • This is not a popular opinion on this forum, so expect everyone to discourage you from having any kind of ceremony. As @kwiksilver-2 mentioned, a celebration party is fine. No reenactments. 
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited March 30
    I am sorry, but you are a married woman.  Married women cannot get married unless they are either divorced or widowed.

    You cannot have a wedding ceremony.  You can have a vow renewal ceremony, but most people side-eye this unless you have been married a significant amount of time, like, say, ten years.  If you absolutely don't care what anyone thinks of you, it is possible for you to have a vow renewal, ceremony, but don't expect anyone on The Knot to support this idea.  Vow renewals are not second weddings, and no wedding dresses, bridesmaids, or other wedding traditions apply.

    If you want to have celebration party in April, you can certainly do that, but to have a vow ceremony is not appropriate, and may offend people.  Wedding dresses are for brides, and you are not a bride.  I have known of several of these re-do weddings (We call them PPDs - Pretty Princess Days), and people are always whispering about the fact that it isn't a real wedding.  These PPDs are never the happy affair that couples imagine they will be, and they cost a huge amount of money.

    Why did you decide to get married in Hawaii last year?  Why do you need more than a legal marriage?  Why do you think you need a white wedding dress and a ceremony?  Unless you can answer these questions, I do not understand you at all.  Most couples simply wait until they can have the wedding that they want to have.  Why didn't you?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    SP29InLoveInQueensthisismynickname2
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    We originally got married on the beach in Hawaii where we just had our island friends come to the ceremony in September.  It was extremely small and just us with the officiant and about 10 friends standing around us for support.

    Congratulations on your one and only wedding.  You made a choice.  You accept the consequences of that choice.  You had a ceremony which legally married you and your husband.  Size does not matter. 

      Now we are having the big ceremony and reception with the white dress and all the fun toasts/dances in April in New Jersey so our friends and families can all join us in the celebration.

    Your friends and family can join you in a party to celebrate your wedding.  You can wear a white dress but it would look silly to wear a bridal gown since you are a married woman.

     Does anyone have any ideas of what we can do for the ceremony?

    The idea for the ceremony is to skip it completely since it is unnecessary.

     Since we just got married it technically wouldn't be much of a vow renewal and we're pretty stuck with what we should do, but we do want to do something since none of our family was able to make the first wedding.  Any ideas would be extremely helpful!
    As others have said, you can host a celebration party in honor of your recent nuptials.  However, depending on the circumstances as to why you choose the wedding you did, you can expect some hurt feelings and the possibility that some guests will decline your invitation.
    InLoveInQueens
  • Thank you for the responses.
    I hope that's a genuine thanks. 
    eileenrobInLoveInQueens
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Thank you for the responses.
    Deleting your post is bad form and pointless once you have been quoted. 

    You have been given straightforward answers to a not-so-unique question.  There are scores of posts from brides who think it's proper to host re-enactment ceremonies.  Some go so far as to hide the actual legal ceremony as fact and pretend as if the second celebration is the real deal.  Search the boards for the many threads regarding this subject.


    DrillSergeantCateileenrobcowgirl8238InLoveInQueens
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited March 31
    Trying to delete your post and your title was a bad idea. OP.  Now lots of posters will come running to see what the drama was about, and, since you were quoted, everyone will see that you would rather run away than to answer simple, reasonable questions about your actions. :o
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    DrillSergeantCateileenrobInLoveInQueens
  • You are welcome to have what I like to call a "happily ever after party" to celebrate your recent marriage.  However, it's extremely inappropriate to have a ceremony, spotlight dances, wedding party, or other wedding things.  Have great food, music and dancing, a lovely dress (although I would personally discourage a wedding gown, some people think it's fine).  It's not a wedding though, and you definitely should not register or expect any gifts.  Toasts are kind of a know your crowd.  I think it's fine to have someone raise a glass to your marriage, but anything beyond that seems AWish and weird.


    OP, I hope you take kwiksilver-2's advice above.  Your friends and family may tell you it's a great idea because they don't want to look like the "bad guy," but if you go ahead with your PPD, understand that people will be nice to your face and side-eye the hell out of it, and talk negatively about it behind your back.  
    InLoveInQueens
  • adk19adk19
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Here for the bat signal!  I always get giddy when I see a thread titled "deleted post".  

    They've already told you.  No ceremony.  Congratulations on your marriage, married lady!

    SP29ernursejthisismynickname2
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