Destination Weddings

In-Country Destination

My wedding date is October 14, 2017 and will in Southern California. 90% of our guests will have to travel as they all live in other states (mid-west, pacific northwest, etc.). I'm currently working on my invitations and wanted some feedback.

Our RSVP deadline is mid-September. Although there is the 6-8 weeks prior standard for local weddings, I am looking to begin mailing them out in June. I would like to consider the fact that guests need time to save and book travel arrangements. What are your opinions? Is June too soon? 

Looking forward to your thoughts! Thank you in advanced! 

Best;
Shelby S
Best;
Shelby S

Re: In-Country Destination

  • greeninspringgreeninspring
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    member
    edited March 31
    You should send out STDs as early as you want. And send the real invitations out 8-9 weeks in advance. I am in a similar situation..about 75% of my guests will have to travel for the wedding. I sent out STDs 9 months in advance to everyone I knew I wanted on the guest list (I know that sounds super early) and it has helped a lot with attendance. Lots of people went ahead and started making their travel arrangements before I sent out the invites. I sent invites 9 weeks before the wedding. 

    Initially when we planned to get married in our town, my FIs parents were telling us that they would be the only ones to attend because of travel distance. Since I sent out the STDs, we now have his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins all a single confirmed guests. 

    You dont want to send out your real invites too early because people will put it to the side, lose it, forget to RSVP, etc. 

    good luck! 

    ETA: just realized that your wedding is in 6.5 months. I'd go ahead and try to get your STDs out as soon as possible. I know they can be an extra expense but they make much more sense than sending invites out super early. 
    levioosasspiering6
  • My wedding date is October 14, 2017 and will in Southern California. 90% of our guests will have to travel as they all live in other states (mid-west, pacific northwest, etc.). I'm currently working on my invitations and wanted some feedback.

    Our RSVP deadline is mid-September. Although there is the 6-8 weeks prior standard for local weddings, I am looking to begin mailing them out in June. I would like to consider the fact that guests need time to save and book travel arrangements. What are your opinions? Is June too soon? 

    Looking forward to your thoughts! Thank you in advanced! 

    Best;
    Shelby S
    June is still way too soon. I would send out a save the date (and be done cheaply and easily) soon and then send invites at the normal time. The reason you don't want to send them too early is that people are more likely to forget about them/lose them/not respond (thinking they have time to do it and never do). Send STD's now and invites 6-8 weeks out.
  • We had a in country destination wedding. We sent our Save the Dates about 10 months in advance (only to family and VIPs) and our invites out at the standard 8 weeks. It worked out beautifully. People rarely know what they are doing 2 months in advance let alone 4. So many things can change in 120 days, people can lose their jobs, get into/ out of relationships; hell, rehab is usually only 90 days and that is supposed to "cure" people. Don't send the invitations in June. You will just be asking for a headache.
    sspiering6
  • We are also having a DW for many of our guests.  We emailed STD's because our guest list is small and we wanted to give people notice ASAP.  Also our event is quite casual.  Our invites are going out 8 weeks before, but the Save the Dates gave people plenty of time to make travel arrangements, and it didn't cost us anything.
    sspiering6
  • I'm sorry but 6-8 weeks is crazypants for a destination wedding. 10-12 minimum. I don't care what the etiquette books, the world has changed, specifically with respect to travel and general business of people's schedules. STDs ASAP, solid wedding website with lots of info, and 10-12 weeks invites.
    sspiering6STARMOON44
  • edited March 31
    I'm sorry but 6-8 weeks is crazypants for a destination wedding. 10-12 minimum. I don't care what the etiquette books, the world has changed, specifically with respect to travel and general business of people's schedules. STDs ASAP, solid wedding website with lots of info, and 10-12 weeks invites.
    I disagree; if there's a STD, you know when the event is, why do you still need 10-12 weeks? 
    levioosaCMGragainernursej
  • I'm sorry but 6-8 weeks is crazypants for a destination wedding. 10-12 minimum. I don't care what the etiquette books, the world has changed, specifically with respect to travel and general business of people's schedules. STDs ASAP, solid wedding website with lots of info, and 10-12 weeks invites.
    Why is 6-8 weeks crazypants? Especially with STDs and websites!? That doesn't make any sense. If you have a STD you have an invite so feel free to ask for time off, book flights, whatever. Why does the actual invite need to come earlier?
    charlotte989875CMGragainInLoveInQueens
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited March 31
    My wedding date is October 14, 2017 and will in Southern California. 90% of our guests will have to travel as they all live in other states (mid-west, pacific northwest, etc.). I'm currently working on my invitations and wanted some feedback.

    Our RSVP deadline is mid-September. Although there is the 6-8 weeks prior standard for local weddings, I am looking to begin mailing them out in June. I would like to consider the fact that guests need time to save and book travel arrangements. What are your opinions? Is June too soon? 

    Looking forward to your thoughts! Thank you in advanced! 

    Best;
    Shelby S
    You are not having a destination wedding, unless I misunderstand, and you do not currently live in southern CA.  You are simply inviting out of town guests to your wedding.
    There is no reason to send your invitation any earlier than eight weeks before your wedding.  (August 26th)  It would be a courtesy to your out of town guests to send them an STD as soon as possible so they can make their travel arrangements.
    Your venue requires a final tally a whole month before your wedding?  I would ask them to be more flexible.  This does not make any sense to me.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I'm sorry but 6-8 weeks is crazypants for a destination wedding. 10-12 minimum. I don't care what the etiquette books, the world has changed, specifically with respect to travel and general business of people's schedules. STDs ASAP, solid wedding website with lots of info, and 10-12 weeks invites.
    I can understand both sides of this. I sent mine out at 9 weeks so yes I did push it a little. The world has most definitely changed, but this issue has already been addressed by the invention of STDs and wedding websites. PS- no one said you only are allowed to send STDs to just family. If you are worried so about it that you're considering sending your invites out 4 months in advance, you can always send STDs to everyone on your guest list you just are now required to send them an invitation as well. 

    I see the importance of sticking to the 6-8 weeks for invites because people really will forget/lose them if you send them too early. 
    charlotte989875missJeanLouiseCMGragain
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited March 31
    I'm sorry but 6-8 weeks is crazypants for a destination wedding. 10-12 minimum. I don't care what the etiquette books, the world has changed, specifically with respect to travel and general business of people's schedules. STDs ASAP, solid wedding website with lots of info, and 10-12 weeks invites.
    Etiquette HAS changed.  In 1976, invitations were to be sent out 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding.  This change probably happened because current weddings are so complicated, with venues insisting on RSVP. totals so far in advance.

    Save the Dates notify people in plenty of time to make their travel arrangements.  They can be sent up to nine months before the wedding.  Any earlier than this is useless, since many airline do not accept reservations this far in advance.  Before the recent STD trend, word of mouth did the job.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    SP29
  • CMGragain said:
    I'm sorry but 6-8 weeks is crazypants for a destination wedding. 10-12 minimum. I don't care what the etiquette books, the world has changed, specifically with respect to travel and general business of people's schedules. STDs ASAP, solid wedding website with lots of info, and 10-12 weeks invites.
    Etiquette HAS changed.  In 1976, invitations were to be sent out 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding.  This change probably happened because current weddings are so complicated, with venues insisting on RSVP. totals so far in advance.

    Save the Dates notify people in plenty of time to make their travel arrangements.  They can be sent up to nine months before the wedding.  Any earlier than this is useless, since many airline do not accept reservations this far in advance.
    To the bolded: save the dates can be sent earlier th than 9 months. Depending on the location I would say up to a year is fine. Just because you received a save the date doesn't mean you have to book immediately, you can wait until 6 month, weeks, days, before the wedding to book. The STD is just to advise you of an incoming invitation, 6-8 weeks before the event.
    charlotte989875
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited March 31
    CMGragain said:
    I'm sorry but 6-8 weeks is crazypants for a destination wedding. 10-12 minimum. I don't care what the etiquette books, the world has changed, specifically with respect to travel and general business of people's schedules. STDs ASAP, solid wedding website with lots of info, and 10-12 weeks invites.
    Etiquette HAS changed.  In 1976, invitations were to be sent out 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding.  This change probably happened because current weddings are so complicated, with venues insisting on RSVP. totals so far in advance.

    Save the Dates notify people in plenty of time to make their travel arrangements.  They can be sent up to nine months before the wedding.  Any earlier than this is useless, since many airline do not accept reservations this far in advance.
    To the bolded: save the dates can be sent earlier th than 9 months. Depending on the location I would say up to a year is fine. Just because you received a save the date doesn't mean you have to book immediately, you can wait until 6 month, weeks, days, before the wedding to book. The STD is just to advise you of an incoming invitation, 6-8 weeks before the event.
    Well, I respectfully disagree.  There are no hard and fast rules about STDs except that once you have sent them, you must follow up with a formal invitation.  I just don't see the point in sending them out earlier than 9 months.  I travel internationally a few times a year.  No point in stressing about travel arrangements earlier than four months out unless you will be flying during a major holiday.  I have two cruises booked this year, and I haven't bought the airline tickets, yet.
    A lot can happen to change things a year in advance.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    CMGragain said:
    I'm sorry but 6-8 weeks is crazypants for a destination wedding. 10-12 minimum. I don't care what the etiquette books, the world has changed, specifically with respect to travel and general business of people's schedules. STDs ASAP, solid wedding website with lots of info, and 10-12 weeks invites.
    Etiquette HAS changed.  In 1976, invitations were to be sent out 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding.  This change probably happened because current weddings are so complicated, with venues insisting on RSVP. totals so far in advance.

    Save the Dates notify people in plenty of time to make their travel arrangements.  They can be sent up to nine months before the wedding.  Any earlier than this is useless, since many airline do not accept reservations this far in advance.
    To the bolded: save the dates can be sent earlier th than 9 months. Depending on the location I would say up to a year is fine. Just because you received a save the date doesn't mean you have to book immediately, you can wait until 6 month, weeks, days, before the wedding to book. The STD is just to advise you of an incoming invitation, 6-8 weeks before the event.
    Well, I respectfully disagree.  There are no hard and fast rules about STDs except that once you have sent them, you must follow up with a formal invitation.  I just don't see the point in sending them out earlier than 9 months.  I travel internationally a few times a year.  No point in stressing about travel arrangements earlier than four months out unless you will be flying during a major holiday.  I have two cruises booked this year, and I haven't bought the airline tickets, yet.
    A lot can happen to change things a year in advance.
    Well, you said up to 9 months which is < or = to, many people need more than that to ask for time off or save up money for, depending of the location. Just because you don't book travel arrangements doesn't mean a heads up on a wedding doesn't help. No one says you have to book when you receive the std. 
    charlotte989875flantastic
  • CMGragain said:
    CMGragain said:
    I'm sorry but 6-8 weeks is crazypants for a destination wedding. 10-12 minimum. I don't care what the etiquette books, the world has changed, specifically with respect to travel and general business of people's schedules. STDs ASAP, solid wedding website with lots of info, and 10-12 weeks invites.
    Etiquette HAS changed.  In 1976, invitations were to be sent out 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding.  This change probably happened because current weddings are so complicated, with venues insisting on RSVP. totals so far in advance.

    Save the Dates notify people in plenty of time to make their travel arrangements.  They can be sent up to nine months before the wedding.  Any earlier than this is useless, since many airline do not accept reservations this far in advance.
    To the bolded: save the dates can be sent earlier th than 9 months. Depending on the location I would say up to a year is fine. Just because you received a save the date doesn't mean you have to book immediately, you can wait until 6 month, weeks, days, before the wedding to book. The STD is just to advise you of an incoming invitation, 6-8 weeks before the event.
    Well, I respectfully disagree.  There are no hard and fast rules about STDs except that once you have sent them, you must follow up with a formal invitation.  I just don't see the point in sending them out earlier than 9 months.  I travel internationally a few times a year.  No point in stressing about travel arrangements earlier than four months out unless you will be flying during a major holiday.  I have two cruises booked this year, and I haven't bought the airline tickets, yet.
    A lot can happen to change things a year in advance.
    Well, you said up to 9 months which is < or = to, many people need more than that to ask for time off or save up money for, depending of the location. Just because you don't book travel arrangements doesn't mean a heads up on a wedding doesn't help. No one says you have to book when you receive the std. 
    As a guest, I wouldn't find it weird to receive a STD 11-12 months in advance. Any more than that though and I'd probably think it was too early. 
    eileenrob
  • The point is that there is no reason to send out invitations earlier than 8 weeks.  I think we agree on that.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    greeninspring
  • CMGragain said:
    The point is that there is no reason to send out invitations earlier than 8 weeks.  I think we agree on that.
    I agree there isn't a reason within the country. But there is in some circumstances. For instance, I have a lot of family traveling from abroad. Some countries are needlessly being antagonized by US immigration practices. Friends and family members from said countries need a physical invitation as proof while applying for the visiting visa. According to the word of the law, it's not required. But in real practice, the US embassy in those countries has turned down applicants for not submitting a hard copy invitation. Most of their profits come from re-applicants with a time deadline and they tend to nitpick the smallest detail as grounds for rejection. Without the actual invitation, they say there isn't believable grounds that the applicant is actually going for the purposes the applicant has declared. (And don't say they're not allowed because they don't give a fuck and they have the manpower and lack of human decency to bend laws to their whim.) Combine that with the fact that the visa needs to be applied for 4-6 bloody months in advance "for processing" (which really is more bull because everything is electronic now). So some (not all) of my guests have already received my invitations for my August wedding. 
  • Interesting, and sad.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    NiceKindaSpiceInLoveInQueens
  • CMGragain said:
    The point is that there is no reason to send out invitations earlier than 8 weeks.  I think we agree on that.
    I agree there isn't a reason within the country. But there is in some circumstances. For instance, I have a lot of family traveling from abroad. Some countries are needlessly being antagonized by US immigration practices. Friends and family members from said countries need a physical invitation as proof while applying for the visiting visa. According to the word of the law, it's not required. But in real practice, the US embassy in those countries has turned down applicants for not submitting a hard copy invitation. Most of their profits come from re-applicants with a time deadline and they tend to nitpick the smallest detail as grounds for rejection. Without the actual invitation, they say there isn't believable grounds that the applicant is actually going for the purposes the applicant has declared. (And don't say they're not allowed because they don't give a fuck and they have the manpower and lack of human decency to bend laws to their whim.) Combine that with the fact that the visa needs to be applied for 4-6 bloody months in advance "for processing" (which really is more bull because everything is electronic now). So some (not all) of my guests have already received my invitations for my August wedding. 
    This is annoying and I agree it's obnoxious. And likely to only get worse. 

    But this is a fairly uncommon situation and one that doesn't exactly apply broadly. Of course there are exceptions to rules, and they should be handled directly with guests involved. If you know someone is traveling from a country where this is likely to be an issue of course there's no problem sending them an invitation early, but that doesn't mean you need to send all your invites early. 
    SP29japrincess24greeninspring
  • I see no problem with sending invites out 12 weeks in advance. 
  • I see no problem with sending invites out 12 weeks in advance. 
    This is your personal opinion.  When I advise brides about sending their invitations, I am simply quoting the standard etiquette. 
    Is it a problem to send invitations out four weeks early?  No.  Is it correct?  No.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited April 2
    I see no problem with sending invites out 12 weeks in advance. 
    I'm going to forget about RSVPing. That's really the main problem. It's not really harmful to anyone except that it could unintentionally cause the couple more of a hassle. I carefully time sign-ups and volunteer call-outs at work, simply because I've assessed when people are most able to know enough about their plans and least likely to put it off because it's too far away. I think 8-10 weeks is this ideal range for wedding invites.

    etf meaning-changing typo

    Anniversary

    InLoveInQueenssspiering6
  • CMGragain said:
    I see no problem with sending invites out 12 weeks in advance. 
    This is your personal opinion.  When I advise brides about sending their invitations, I am simply quoting the standard etiquette. 
    Is it a problem to send invitations out four weeks early?  No.  Is it correct?  No.
    Yes, it is. And? Do we not get to share personal opinions any more? I think most people would be not at all disturbed to receive a wedding invite 12 weeks in advance. 
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited April 2
    CMGragain said:
    I see no problem with sending invites out 12 weeks in advance. 
    This is your personal opinion.  When I advise brides about sending their invitations, I am simply quoting the standard etiquette. 
    Is it a problem to send invitations out four weeks early?  No.  Is it correct?  No.
    Yes, it is. And? Do we not get to share personal opinions any more? I think most people would be not at all disturbed to receive a wedding invite 12 weeks in advance. 
    I don't think there is a problem with sending invitations early- I don't think it's "rude" in any way- as long as the hosts are not also requesting an earlier RSVP date.

    However, I will agree that the invitation/RSVP may get forgotten about. We sent our invitations early as we had a lot of OOT guests and we did not send STDs. We had some guests say things like, "Oh, the RSVP has been sitting on the counter for months, I keep forgetting to mail it!". People do forget about things.

    As for losing the invitation- well that is the same as the STD- the recipient still needs to keep track of that somewhere.

    Fine to send a STD up to a year in advance. Many workplaces require vacation time to be booked for the year several months before that. We submit our vacation in October for the entire next year.

    Word of mouth is also a perfectly reasonable form of "STD". So if you are worried OP- start calling or e-mailing your guests to let them know the date and location of your wedding. The biggest thing to remember here, is that once you have sent a STD or verbal invitation, you must follow up with formal invitation, and a formal invitation should not be rescinded- which is part of the reason for not sending either a STD or invitation too early.
  • CMGragain said:
    I see no problem with sending invites out 12 weeks in advance. 
    This is your personal opinion.  When I advise brides about sending their invitations, I am simply quoting the standard etiquette. 
    Is it a problem to send invitations out four weeks early?  No.  Is it correct?  No.
    Yes, it is. And? Do we not get to share personal opinions any more? I think most people would be not at all disturbed to receive a wedding invite 12 weeks in advance. 
    When I share my personal opinions, I am clear that it is just my personal opinion, and not standard etiquette advice.  There are many brides who ask questions who want to know "the rules".  When I was planning my own wedding, my FMIL would have pounced on any minor infraction of etiquette.

    If someone wants to do something different from standard practice, that is their choice, but I think you should be clear what is etiquette correct before recommending something different.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    CMGragain said:
    I see no problem with sending invites out 12 weeks in advance. 
    This is your personal opinion.  When I advise brides about sending their invitations, I am simply quoting the standard etiquette. 
    Is it a problem to send invitations out four weeks early?  No.  Is it correct?  No.
    Yes, it is. And? Do we not get to share personal opinions any more? I think most people would be not at all disturbed to receive a wedding invite 12 weeks in advance. 
    When I share my personal opinions, I am clear that it is just my personal opinion, and not standard etiquette advice.  There are many brides who ask questions who want to know "the rules".  When I was planning my own wedding, my FMIL would have pounced on any minor infraction of etiquette.

    If someone wants to do something different from standard practice, that is their choice, but I think you should be clear what is etiquette correct before recommending something different.
    I think this is pointless uptight nannying of other people's posting. I don't claim to be dispensing some true correct way on high.  Get over it. 
    kwiksilver
  • driddrid
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    I'm just throwing my experience in here; I've lurked for a long time and have learned so much from everybody here... but one thing I ignored was the invitation timeframe. My thoughts were the same, I'm going to send my invites early because everybody will have to travel, etc. I sent them in Jan for my May wedding. My RSVP date was yesterday (the venue needs numbers 1 months in advance so I gave myself time to call people) and I have received only 10 RSVPs back out of 40ish invites. So I have a LOT of following up to do. In hindsight, I should have included a little bit more information with my STDs and then send out my invites according to the proper timeline. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    sspiering6CMGragainahoyweddingTrixieJess
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards