Customs and Traditions

What event type is our wedding?

We are wanting to do our wedding with floor length gowns, tuxedos or suits. We are getting married on NYE @ 7:00. Our colors are black and gold with sequins. My bridesmaids are wearing floor length gowns and all over sequins and the groomsmen are wearing tuxedos. It is very glitzy and glamorous. We will be having a champagne fountain, and an open bar. There will be a champagne toast as well. I've been told that this isn't a black tie event but I'm confused on what type of event it is. Also is our theme NYE themed? 
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Re: What event type is our wedding?

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
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    It is a formal event. You are right in that it isn't a black tie event. Black tie entails things other than dress. It means the level of service, type of alcohol, parking and live music.

    I wouldn't say it is NYE themed. Your theme is that you are getting married. Black and gold can be done at weddings other than NYE. It all sounds glamorous. Hope you have a wonderful evening.

    BTW you can't dictate what your guests wear - only your wedding party.
    ernursejCMGragainInLoveInQueensSP29
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
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    edited April 10
    A black tie wedding has many different components. Attire and open bar is only part of it. Typically, people on here say a black tie event is top of the line everything - venue, service, food, etc. Whether or not you're hosting a black tie event depends on a lot of other factors besides just attire, open bar and having champagne, although that is part of it. 

  • So on our invitation/ and website when it asks for attire do we put formal?
  • That will leave it open to jeans and flannels.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
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    That will leave it open to jeans and flannels.
    Who cares? You can't tell adults how to dress themselves. You'll get married either way. You don't need to attempt to control this.

    Anniversary

    eileenrobknottiejjustsieInLoveInQueens
  • At my wedding that I am planning and paying for I absolutely can. 
    Australian_girl_in_Paris
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
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    To be clear, even if you put formal on your invitations, there is still the chance that people will show up in jeans. People who would wear jeans and flannels to a wedding will likely do so regardless of what you put on the invitation. 

    InLoveInQueensTrixieJess
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
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    edited April 10
    I had three people at my wedding in jeans (I know this from photos and second hand accounts). My colors were black and gold and I had lots of sequins too. It happens. I'm still married and had the best time that night. 
    So did I, although my wedding wasn't very fancy. I didn't care. I think jeans can often look really nice. Dark jeans with a cute/dressy top and flat pumps, heels or boots. That's my go to cute outfit (although I probably wouldn't wear it to a wedding). 

  • Do not dictate dress code unless it is black tie. Adults are able to dress themselves.

  • Also is it black tie? I mean, maybe. You really haven't given us much info to go on. What's the food situation? Entertainment?
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited April 11
    If you put "black tie" on your invitations, this means that every man will have to rent or buy a tuxedo to wear to your wedding if he does not own one already.  Expect a LOT of declines!

    Yes, it is your wedding.  This does not mean you are entitled to be rude to your guests.  Suggesting dress rules is being rude.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    SP29
  • If you're having a black tie wedding, such as Starmoon44 described above, then indicate that on your invitations.  If you aren't having a black tie wedding and you know some of your guests will show up wearing clothes you don't approve of, the only way you can guarantee they won't absolutely destroy your wedding vision is to not invite them.  

    But for God's sake, it's one night of your life.  Yes, you'll be marrying the love of your life; yes, it's one of the most important events of your life so far.  Remember that everything the wedding industry pushes on you serves to benefit THEM, not you, as they're only in it for the money and they don't have to deal with your friends and relatives after the fact if you turn into a huge Bridezilla and alienate people you care about.  

    I can't remember what a single guest wore at my wedding.  I know what I was wearing and what H was wearing, because that's who I was focused on all night!  Take a step back and ask yourself, is this really what matters?  If the answer is yes, guest attire really does matter to me, I would either upgrade to a full black tie event or elope.
    DrillSergeantCatSP29adk19
  • This is a valid concern. Didn't you hear about the story a few years back about the bride walking down the aisle when the vicar saw someone wearing jeans. He stopped the wedding and refused to continue as he was so insulted. The groom then yelled that he could never marry someone so stupid as to not dictate a dress code to grown adults. He ran off with the chief bridesmaid. The bride was left in a heap of tears because of that one cursed pair of Levi's. She now works at TV guide. 
    This sounds like a Hallmark Channel movie. :)
    kimmiinthemittenlizybefflyndausvi
  • At my wedding that I am planning and paying for I absolutely can. 

    Guaranteed you are not even going to notice. The night goes by so fast and you will not even have time to worry about it. 
  • OP, if you are asking your guests to give up their NYE and travel to your wedding on one of the most expensive holidays for airfare and hotel accommodations, and you are expecting everyone to attend in their best formalwear, I would hope that you would be upgrading to an actual black tie hosted affair. 

    Also, side note, you say your wedding begins at 7pm; what time does your reception end? 
    charlotte989875InLoveInQueenseileenrobzitiqueen
  • Unpopular opinion: Just put "Formal attire" on the website. It'll save you some heartache and nobody will be offended with a simple dress code on a website. Don't put it on the invitation. There, done.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
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    Unpopular opinion: Just put "Formal attire" on the website. It'll save you some heartache and nobody will be offended with a simple dress code on a website. Don't put it on the invitation. There, done.
    How? Saving her from the current stressing over nothing she's doing? If anything, she could get more calls from people who are like "What is formal?" than from people who weren't sure what to wear until they saw "formal" on the website.

    Anniversary

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
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    Exactly @flantastic. DD was invited to a black tie optional wedding and kept asking me if something was appropriate. I told her it really isn't a thing and she should just wear what she would normally wear to a formal church wedding.
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