Customs and Traditions

What event type is our wedding?

2

Re: What event type is our wedding?

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    LD1970 said:
    I had a day wedding (ceremony 11:30 a.m., cocktail hour 12 p.m., reception 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.), at a formal venue, in March.  We used pocketfold thermography-printed invitations, and didn't hire a calligrapher to address them (we -gasp! - printed them in a calligraphy-like font directly on the computer.

    Still, no one came in jeans and flannel.  It was a wedding.  At a formal venue.  They knew what they were getting - valet parking, extensive cocktail hour, four-course dinner with tableside choices for entree, the whole shebang.  And they dressed appropriately, because they're adults.  And we trusted them to do so.  Honestly, had they not?  We wouldn't have cared one whit.

    On NYE in the evening, if you have guests who are the jeans-and-flannel type, they're going to be that type regardless.  But they're your friends and family.  You should trust them.
    To the first bolded......It absolutely should be a non issue.  I cannot understand for the life of me why anyone cares about the attire of their guests.  Side-eye, judge, laugh, or even mock it.......but it has zero impact on the bride, groom, or the validity of the marriage.

    To the second bolded.....expect the expected.  Over the years, I have noticed that there is a decent difference between expected attire at DH's family weddings in northern Wisconsin versus my family's expected attire in the suburbs of Chicago.  Our families, and their differing attires, have mingled at weddings over almost 40 years.  No bride, groom, or reception has self combusted.  No marriage has been deemed invalid.  Regardless of formality, each family side has their own idea of how that formality is perceived.  NOTHING I could say or do would influence or change that.  Nor would I try.
    InLoveInQueenslovesclimbingeileenrobSP29
  • @kimmiinthemitten I'm originally from the Midwest and dying at your "fancy black jeans" uncle because I have some of the same family members! I was shocked no one wore jeans to our wedding (but wouldn't have given a crap if they did). 

    OP, truthfully you won't notice what people wear. I doubt for a NYE wedding anyone is going to pull out their "fancy flannel." You certainly can give people an idea of the level of fanciness if they ask what to wear (a TON of people asked us), but most adults will get an idea as they hear you talk about it. As a side note, one of my friends wore a t shirt with a space cat on it and one wore a shirt with fish all over it. They both asked me about it ahead of time and my response was something like "well I won't be the one wearing an embarrassing shirt in all of the pictures." If someone doesn't dress up to the level of the occasion, it won't affect you. They will likely feel embarrassed and under dressed. 
    InLoveInQueenskimmiinthemitten
  • LD1970LD1970
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    MobKaz said:
    LD1970 said:
    I had a day wedding (ceremony 11:30 a.m., cocktail hour 12 p.m., reception 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.), at a formal venue, in March.  We used pocketfold thermography-printed invitations, and didn't hire a calligrapher to address them (we -gasp! - printed them in a calligraphy-like font directly on the computer.

    Still, no one came in jeans and flannel.  It was a wedding.  At a formal venue.  They knew what they were getting - valet parking, extensive cocktail hour, four-course dinner with tableside choices for entree, the whole shebang.  And they dressed appropriately, because they're adults.  And we trusted them to do so.  Honestly, had they not?  We wouldn't have cared one whit.

    On NYE in the evening, if you have guests who are the jeans-and-flannel type, they're going to be that type regardless.  But they're your friends and family.  You should trust them.
    To the first bolded......It absolutely should be a non issue.  I cannot understand for the life of me why anyone cares about the attire of their guests.  Side-eye, judge, laugh, or even mock it.......but it has zero impact on the bride, groom, or the validity of the marriage.

    To the second bolded.....expect the expected.  Over the years, I have noticed that there is a decent difference between expected attire at DH's family weddings in northern Wisconsin versus my family's expected attire in the suburbs of Chicago.  Our families, and their differing attires, have mingled at weddings over almost 40 years.  No bride, groom, or reception has self combusted.  No marriage has been deemed invalid.  Regardless of formality, each family side has their own idea of how that formality is perceived.  NOTHING I could say or do would influence or change that.  Nor would I try.
    Exactly.  

    And looking back at photos, there was a range of dress from sequined gowns to nice pants with pretty tops, or skirts with tops for the women, and from suits to dockers and button down shirts for the men.  Without looking at photos, I don't remember!  Even looking at photos, I have to really LOOK to pay attention.  

    Otherwise, I'm looking at who was dancing with whom, lots of smiles, my friend photobombing like a goof when the photog was getting a shot of me, my sister, and our dad, and the look on H's face during the hora (He's not Jewish, hadn't been to many Jewish weddings, and didn't grow up expecting it to be part of his eventual wedding - he was vaguely terrified at the thought of being dropped - LOL).
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder
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    We had an outdoor wedding and I told people who asked what they should wear (because I made no mention of a dress code on the invitation or website) that I didn't care as long as they were comfortable. I actually told one coworker he could come in shorts and a t-shirt if he wanted because we just wanted to celebrate with everyone. Not a single person came in jeans. The only people in shorts were the kids. I was a little disappointed no one took me up on my "come as you are" approach!
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  • justsiejustsie
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    My side of the family is quite country and my uncle had changed into jeans, t-shirt that read "big dog" and a baseball cap about 15 minutes after the ceremony for his son's wedding (He wore jeans and suite jacket like the groom and groomsmen for the ceremony). This man wore nice slacks and a button down to my wedding- I was shocked because I expected the "nice jeans" to come out not actual pants. 
    For some other context, the reception and ceremony of my cousin was outside and they had a keg, the bride's father wore a suite and bow-tie and the mother wore a long sequined gown. You couldn't tell more the families came from different backgrounds but they threw a great party. 
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    knottiejahoywedding
  • scribe95scribe95
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
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    edited April 16
    I didn't have sequins, which apparently makes a difference, but my bridesmaids wore floor length gowns and groomsmen wore tuxes. We had open bar. Many, many weddings have this stuff.

    Also, a few uncles did show up in jeans and I couldn't have cared less. It was great having them travel a distance and celebrate the day with me. 
    eileenrob
  • edited May 25












    We are wanting to do our wedding with floor length gowns, tuxedos or suits. We are getting married on NYE @ 7:00. Our colors are black and gold with sequins. My bridesmaids are wearing floor length gowns and all over sequins and the groomsmen are wearing tuxedos. It is very glitzy and glamorous. We will be having a champagne fountain, and an open bar. There will be a champagne toast as well. I've been told that this isn't a black tie event but I'm confused on what type of event it is. Also is our theme NYE themed? 






    Black tie is multicourse plated meal (at least 5), white glove service, live band, top shelf open bar, wine pairings, engraved invitations, etc. Black tie is the best level of hosting, not the attire. It seems like you can are having a formal wedding, but it's not black tie. 

    You can only request dinner jackets if it's truly a black tie wedding. 

    Also, piece of advice as someone who loves champagne: champagne fountains are not fun at all- it ruins the carbonation and warms it up- all you get is flat, warm white wine. Use that money to get nicer champagnes. 










    I was just @ wedding that they called 'black tie' but they had a DJ... everything else was fancy... is it still considered black tie?
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    My cousin had an afternoon wedding (wanted to catch the sunset over a beach nearby). The venue was somewhat formal--appropriate attire was cocktail dress for women, business suits or button down shirts with khakis for men.

    Some members of the other side of his family (my cousin's mother is my mother's older sister; these were relatives on his father's side) showed up in sports shirts and jeans.

    Even though they stood out by being underdressed, they did not "ruin" the occasion in any way.
    InLoveInQueenseileenrobSP29
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited June 8
    OwningAHome1981 said:

    I was just @ wedding that they called 'black tie' but they had a DJ... everything else was fancy... is it still considered black tie?

    No.  Black tie does not mean "fancy".  It means that there will be premium food, drink, service, valet parking, and live band, all taking place after 6:00 PM.  The male guests are expected to wear tuxedos.  Women wear floor length gowns.  There are very few black tie weddings in the USA.  Unless you move in very formal circles, they are probably not a good idea.  You would get lots of declines from guests who do not want to rent a tux to attend your wedding.  They work best for diplomats' daughters or Hollywood stars.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg

  • CMGragain said:

    OwningAHome1981 said:

    I was just @ wedding that they called 'black tie' but they had a DJ... everything else was fancy... is it still considered black tie?

    No.  Black tie does not mean "fancy".  It means that there will be premium food, drink, service, valet parking, and live band, all taking place after 6:00 PM.  The male guests are expected to wear tuxedos.  Women wear floor length gowns.  There are very few black tie weddings in the USA.  Unless you move in very formal circles, they are probably not a good idea.  You would get lots of declines from guests who do not want to rent a tux to attend your wedding.  They work best for diplomats' daughters or Hollywood stars.


    I don't think the first bolded is universally true. I've been to a number of black tie events (yes, real black tie events). Many of them were charity events, but many were weddings. 

    The second bolded: they work best for anyone who has a formal social scene. 
    CMGragainSTARMOON44levioosa
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    Yes, pretty much what I said.  If you already move in formal circles, fine!  If the last time your groom wore a tuxedo was high school prom, it probably isn't a good idea to try to do a black tie wedding.
    I have been to events in Washington, DC, but no black tie weddings.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I just meant that in some circles it really isn't that rare to have black tie events (and sadly I'm not the daughter of a diplomat or a Hollywood star) and the rent aren't just a few black tie weddings in the USA (unless I've been to all of them). 
    STARMOON44

  • CMGragain said:

    OwningAHome1981 said:

    I was just @ wedding that they called 'black tie' but they had a DJ... everything else was fancy... is it still considered black tie?

    No.  Black tie does not mean "fancy".  It means that there will be premium food, drink, service, valet parking, and live band, all taking place after 6:00 PM.  The male guests are expected to wear tuxedos.  Women wear floor length gowns.  There are very few black tie weddings in the USA.  Unless you move in very formal circles, they are probably not a good idea.  You would get lots of declines from guests who do not want to rent a tux to attend your wedding.  They work best for diplomats' daughters or Hollywood stars.


    My wedding had all this but we didn't call it 'black tie'. This stuff confuses me.
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  • I just meant that in some circles it really isn't that rare to have black tie events (and sadly I'm not the daughter of a diplomat or a Hollywood star) and the rent aren't just a few black tie weddings in the USA (unless I've been to all of them). 


    The majority of weddings I attend are black tie. 
    charlotte989875TrixieJess
  • If you were invited to a wedding as a guest and the couple requires you dress a certain way, how would you receive that?

    Though most people should be respectful enough to dress nicely for any special event like a wedding, we all know some people don't... I have seen countless men in jeans and their favorite t-shirts - even at really formal weddings. But if you are inviting that man to your wedding (meaning you obviously have a close relationship of some sort) you should be happier that he is there rather than disgusted by or focused on what he is wearing. Your guests are giving up their New Years Eve and had to travel at one of the worst time of the year at attend your wedding. Be grateful. I definitely wouldn't put a dress code on the invitation. Most people will pick up on how to dress based on the venue, time of day, and the style of your invitations. I agree that you can't flat out state your guests must wear floor length gowns and tuxedos. Not everyone can afford that... and why would I want to buy a floor length gown to be a guest at your wedding when I will only wear it once? 

    If I were to receive an invitation on high quality stationery, letter pressed, at a very expensive venue, on NYE at 7 pm... I would likely wear a nice cocktail dress. If that bride gets upset because it's not floor length or the right color, it's on her not me. I'll just leave and enjoy NYE somewhere else since I'm all dressed up - and I'll take my gift with me. 

    Basically, you have to decide which is more important... how your guests are dressed or the fact that they are attending your wedding. If you have people on your guest list that you are really concerned over how inappropriately they will dress or behave you can choose not to invite them, but you can't dictate how they will dress. Some guests arriving in jeans will not ruin your night if you don't let it. As a previous post said, your guests are not props. 
    ernursejSP29InLoveInQueens
  • Sorry if I am late on this convo. I have read several PP mention that it is rude to state a dress code on the invitation unless it is black tie. I do not disagree on that aspect, but I do think there is some confusion on the specific topic. As I was researching wedding invitation etiquette, multiple websites mention adding a line for wedding attire (not exclusively black tie). 
    Here are a few examples. 
    http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/228634/wedding-invitation-wording#302803  (slide 9)
    http://https//www.shutterfly.com/ideas/attire-wording-adults-only-wedding-invites/
    Is this a cultural difference? or maybe these websites are outdated?
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  • knottie1027knottie1027
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    edited August 16
    Sorry if I am late on this convo. I have read several PP mention that it is rude to state a dress code on the invitation unless it is black tie. I do not disagree on that aspect, but I do think there is some confusion on the specific topic. As I was researching wedding invitation etiquette, multiple websites mention adding a line for wedding attire (not exclusively black tie). 
    Here are a few examples. 
    http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/228634/wedding-invitation-wording#302803  (slide 9)
    http://https//www.shutterfly.com/ideas/attire-wording-adults-only-wedding-invites/
    Is this a cultural difference? or maybe these websites are outdated? 

    @STARMOON44 I am not saying they are okay. I'm curious about the information gap. If a new bride, that is not on a wedding forum, states a dress code is she at fault? I found several websites that do not mention it as taboo. I'm curious because I almost put a dress code. I did not have the intention of being rude, as I read it to be a part of a wedding invitation per these, and several other, websites. 
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  • edited August 16
    Sorry if I am late on this convo. I have read several PP mention that it is rude to state a dress code on the invitation unless it is black tie. I do not disagree on that aspect, but I do think there is some confusion on the specific topic. As I was researching wedding invitation etiquette, multiple websites mention adding a line for wedding attire (not exclusively black tie). 
    Here are a few examples. 
    http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/228634/wedding-invitation-wording#302803  (slide 9)
    http://https//www.shutterfly.com/ideas/attire-wording-adults-only-wedding-invites/
    Is this a cultural difference? or maybe these websites are outdated? 

    @STARMOON44 I am not saying they are okay. I'm curious about the information gap. If a new bride, that is not on a wedding forum, states a dress code is she at fault? I found several websites that do not mention it as taboo. I'm curious because I almost put a dress code. I did not have the intention of being rude, as I read it to be a part of a wedding invitation per these, and several other, websites. 
    You can basically find anything to support anything on the internet. There's all kinds of misinformation out there. 

    Common sense can be used. Do you normally tell people what to wear? It is socially unacceptable to do this unless there's an actual rule (e.g. a restaurant that requires jackets, or a country club that prohibits denim). It's socially unacceptable because it's rude. It's rude in normal life, it's rude for dinner parties, it's rude for baby showers, it's rude for BBQs.....weddings are no exception. It's simply rude to tell people what to wear. 
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    InLoveInQueensemmaaaSP29
  • @southernbelle0915
    I can understand your point and it makes sense. Adults are competent and are able to make their own choices on how to dress. I over think my attire and change several times before I go out, FI makes fun of me for this. I know myself, I like to have guidelines. But that's just me. 
    I appreciate your input on my question. 
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  • @southernbelle0915
    I can understand your point and it makes sense. Adults are competent and are able to make their own choices on how to dress. I over think my attire and change several times before I go out, FI makes fun of me for this. I know myself, I like to have guidelines. But that's just me. 
    I appreciate your input on my question. 
    You can definitely note on your website if the wedding will be outside (or any other factors that might affect how someone dresses), or if your venue has any kind of dress code. And if people ask for guidelines, you can tell them if it will be casual, etc. I mentioned our ceremony would be outside on the website, and when one of my friends asked if her husband should get a new suit I told her he didn't even need to wear a suit (we were with a group of friends, so they all got the same impression). Typically the invitations are supposed to hint at the level of formality, so if you want people to dress up and you're hosting a fancier event, choose fancier invites to correlate. 
    InLoveInQueensSP29
  • Sorry if I am late on this convo. I have read several PP mention that it is rude to state a dress code on the invitation unless it is black tie. I do not disagree on that aspect, but I do think there is some confusion on the specific topic. As I was researching wedding invitation etiquette, multiple websites mention adding a line for wedding attire (not exclusively black tie). 
    Here are a few examples. 
    http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/228634/wedding-invitation-wording#302803  (slide 9)
    http://https//www.shutterfly.com/ideas/attire-wording-adults-only-wedding-invites/
    Is this a cultural difference? or maybe these websites are outdated? 

    @STARMOON44 I am not saying they are okay. I'm curious about the information gap. If a new bride, that is not on a wedding forum, states a dress code is she at fault? I found several websites that do not mention it as taboo. I'm curious because I almost put a dress code. I did not have the intention of being rude, as I read it to be a part of a wedding invitation per these, and several other, websites. 
    You can basically find anything to support anything on the internet. There's all kinds of misinformation out there. 

    Common sense can be used. Do you normally tell people what to wear? It is socially unacceptable to do this unless there's an actual rule (e.g. a restaurant that requires jackets, or a country club that prohibits denim). It's socially unacceptable because it's rude. It's rude in normal life, it's rude for dinner parties, it's rude for baby showers, it's rude for BBQs.....weddings are no exception. It's simply rude to tell people what to wear. 


    Sure, but people don't usually go on martha stewart living to validate egregious ideas and many people like to know an attire or formality level. I think the dress code backlash is a little harsh unless it's over the top or weird. Personally, I like a little heads up like "this is a formal event" or "this is a casual event". I personally think that's courteous and common sense doesn't tell me this is rude at all. It's not like I'm asking everyone for something super specific, just telling them what my event will be like. If I was inviting friends out to dinner at a place they'd never been before, would it be so rude to be like, "oh it's a nice place and people usually get dressed up". I would assume that I'd be giving my friends a heads up so they're comfortable in the environment is the right thing to do, and I'd feel guilty if they showed up in shorts and felt out of place. If I'm told something wild like "Bohemian Chic" or "Barnyard Formal" I'm rolling my eyes, but I take no umbrage at being told a wedding is formal.
    knottie1027
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
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    Sorry if I am late on this convo. I have read several PP mention that it is rude to state a dress code on the invitation unless it is black tie. I do not disagree on that aspect, but I do think there is some confusion on the specific topic. As I was researching wedding invitation etiquette, multiple websites mention adding a line for wedding attire (not exclusively black tie). 
    Here are a few examples. 
    http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/228634/wedding-invitation-wording#302803  (slide 9)
    http://https//www.shutterfly.com/ideas/attire-wording-adults-only-wedding-invites/
    Is this a cultural difference? or maybe these websites are outdated? 

    @STARMOON44 I am not saying they are okay. I'm curious about the information gap. If a new bride, that is not on a wedding forum, states a dress code is she at fault? I found several websites that do not mention it as taboo. I'm curious because I almost put a dress code. I did not have the intention of being rude, as I read it to be a part of a wedding invitation per these, and several other, websites. 
    You can basically find anything to support anything on the internet. There's all kinds of misinformation out there. 

    Common sense can be used. Do you normally tell people what to wear? It is socially unacceptable to do this unless there's an actual rule (e.g. a restaurant that requires jackets, or a country club that prohibits denim). It's socially unacceptable because it's rude. It's rude in normal life, it's rude for dinner parties, it's rude for baby showers, it's rude for BBQs.....weddings are no exception. It's simply rude to tell people what to wear. 


    Sure, but people don't usually go on martha stewart living to validate egregious ideas and many people like to know an attire or formality level. I think the dress code backlash is a little harsh unless it's over the top or weird. Personally, I like a little heads up like "this is a formal event" or "this is a casual event". I personally think that's courteous and common sense doesn't tell me this is rude at all. It's not like I'm asking everyone for something super specific, just telling them what my event will be like. If I was inviting friends out to dinner at a place they'd never been before, would it be so rude to be like, "oh it's a nice place and people usually get dressed up". I would assume that I'd be giving my friends a heads up so they're comfortable in the environment is the right thing to do, and I'd feel guilty if they showed up in shorts and felt out of place. If I'm told something wild like "Bohemian Chic" or "Barnyard Formal" I'm rolling my eyes, but I take no umbrage at being told a wedding is formal.

    Except there are myriad examples where people have no idea what "formal" means, or it means different things to different people. This just happened - Banana was talking about different types of suits and clearly thought that a light colored suit didn't fall into the "formal" category, whereas plenty of couples who put this on their invitations just mean "maybe wear a tie" and it's not going to be clear which is accurate until people show up.

    I'd rather take my cues from Googling the venue than try to sort out what formal or semi-formal or whatever means to someone else. It's just confusing, and makes me think they have some sort of expectation of attire that I now have to ignore or suss out.

    Anniversary

    InLoveInQueenscharlotte989875ahoyweddingSP29
  • Sorry if I am late on this convo. I have read several PP mention that it is rude to state a dress code on the invitation unless it is black tie. I do not disagree on that aspect, but I do think there is some confusion on the specific topic. As I was researching wedding invitation etiquette, multiple websites mention adding a line for wedding attire (not exclusively black tie). 
    Here are a few examples. 
    http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/228634/wedding-invitation-wording#302803  (slide 9)
    http://https//www.shutterfly.com/ideas/attire-wording-adults-only-wedding-invites/
    Is this a cultural difference? or maybe these websites are outdated? 

    @STARMOON44 I am not saying they are okay. I'm curious about the information gap. If a new bride, that is not on a wedding forum, states a dress code is she at fault? I found several websites that do not mention it as taboo. I'm curious because I almost put a dress code. I did not have the intention of being rude, as I read it to be a part of a wedding invitation per these, and several other, websites. 
    You can basically find anything to support anything on the internet. There's all kinds of misinformation out there. 

    Common sense can be used. Do you normally tell people what to wear? It is socially unacceptable to do this unless there's an actual rule (e.g. a restaurant that requires jackets, or a country club that prohibits denim). It's socially unacceptable because it's rude. It's rude in normal life, it's rude for dinner parties, it's rude for baby showers, it's rude for BBQs.....weddings are no exception. It's simply rude to tell people what to wear. 


    Sure, but people don't usually go on martha stewart living to validate egregious ideas and many people like to know an attire or formality level. I think the dress code backlash is a little harsh unless it's over the top or weird. Personally, I like a little heads up like "this is a formal event" or "this is a casual event". I personally think that's courteous and common sense doesn't tell me this is rude at all. It's not like I'm asking everyone for something super specific, just telling them what my event will be like. If I was inviting friends out to dinner at a place they'd never been before, would it be so rude to be like, "oh it's a nice place and people usually get dressed up". I would assume that I'd be giving my friends a heads up so they're comfortable in the environment is the right thing to do, and I'd feel guilty if they showed up in shorts and felt out of place. If I'm told something wild like "Bohemian Chic" or "Barnyard Formal" I'm rolling my eyes, but I take no umbrage at being told a wedding is formal.
    With your invitations, your venue choice and the time of day, you ARE telling them the formality. 

    If someone isn't comfortable dressing themselves by taking queues from the venue choice, time of day, and invitation formality, then they could reach out to the couple or someone else close to the couple and ask about formality. That really seems like a personal problem though.

    This isn't a thing for any other event. When I get an invitation to a rehearsal dinner or a baby shower, I'm not like "OH MY GOD, THERE'S NO DRESS CODE ON HERE! WHAT SHOULD I DO?!" If it's at a bowling alley at 2pm, I'm wearing jeans and a nice top. If it's at a nice restaurant at 6pm, I'm wearing a dress and heels. Not complicated. Not even a little bit.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    I've honestly and truly never had a problem figuring out how to dress myself for a wedding, or any event. Check out the location, and the time. That will tell you everything you need to know. 

    I don't see any harm in putting info on a website. I once went to a wedding that was entirely on grass. It would have been nice to have a heads up, as I spent all night pulling my heels out of the grass. But you shouldn't be telling people the dress code. 

    LondonLisaInLoveInQueens
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
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    If you are close enough with a person to be invited to their wedding, what ever happened to asking the couple/ MoH/MOB etc if you are so confused? I mean, if one so desperately needs guidelines to choose attire, then why not just ask.

    The main issue is that people generally don't understand dress codes, especially when they put it on an invitation. There are so many stories on here of 'Beach Chic' 'Gatsby Glam' and other ridiculous dress codes that have no real meaning other than being obnoxiously twee. Additionally, its annoying to be told its a formal wedding when in reality they just want photos. 

    Don't tell another adult how to dress. Black tie is showing you the level of hosting, not the dress code. 
    CMGragainTrixieJessahoyweddingSP29
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
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    edited August 17
    You can find flat earth information on the internet, too.

    Dress standards have been established for years.  I don't usually like to recommend The Emily Post Institute because they are too liberal, but even they have posted dress standards that guide guests choices.  These are not written in stone, but it is a good suggestion. 

    http://emilypost.com/advice/wedding-guest-attire/

    To print this advice on an invitation would be insulting to a guest.  It implies that they do not have the basic knowledge and good manners to dress themselves appropriately.

    Marttha Stewart?  Oh, FFS!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    InLoveInQueensSP29
  • I'm not suggesting these websites were correct. If you have a bride that is not on a forum and is trying to figure it all out, she may be MISINFORMED by what she finds. 

    Please don't get stuck on Martha Stewart, a quick google search for wedding invitation wording and this comes up along with multiple websites. I posted these AS AN EXAMPLE for the simple fact that they were quick finds.

    I feel like the backlash for not knowing is pretty harsh. This isn't that obvious for some. As much as people think this is common sense, that isn't a solid argument because that is an assumption. Maybe other people don't get it. They don't get the clues from the invitation, they don't do their research on the location or don't make the effort to ask. I know my FI doesn't. Also, I cannot fathom someone receiving an invitation and throwing their arms in the air because of the tiny print that says "Formal Attire".  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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