Snarky Brides

Annoying Family Friends

Just wanted to rant a little about a family friend who is getting married. Less about her and more about her mom I guess. 

Got her invitation in the mail for her July wedding. I got it in March. My wedding is in June and I am not sending out invites until the end of April which I think by some people's standards is already a little early so I was surprised to get hers so early. 

There were a number of things within the invite that I have learned from looking through these boards are etiquette no-nos. It requested a formal dress code (it's a country club wedding, not sure why formal is necessary), mentioned where to find her registry, said it was an adults only event, and then requested no box gifts. Wasn't sure what that meant but from what I've read online, it's a special way of saying please bring us money. 

RSVPs were requested by May 1, which also seemed a little early to me. I tried to RSVP a few times but was unable to because the website wasn't working properly. 

Last week, her mom texted my mom upset that we had not responded to the invitation yet and angry that she had not received an invite for MY wedding! She told my mom that my invites were "way late going out." She said the main reason she is asking about our RSVPs is for a gift because "after all" she did send my brother a gift for his wedding. REALLY?? She was requesting my mom send her a daughter a gift because she sent one to my brother for his like 8 years ago. I promise, my mom has every intention of sending them a gift. I guess she didn't think of sending them a wedding gift 3 months early. My mom just told her that she planned to RSVP soon and that my invites would be going out soon. She's not one to engage with people like that. This woman is a friend from long ago and since she moved states 15 years ago, they haven't been close. 

I am so irritated by all of this. The actual bride is well-intentioned and a sweet woman but she has been giving me terrible and unsolicited advice for my wedding for my entire engagement and I can't stand it. That's more of a minor annoyance. I just bite my tongue and say thank you. Someone tell me I'm not crazy to be so irritated by the mother though. 

Re: Annoying Family Friends

  • @MobKaz we haven't had many interactions since they moved away but they remained family friends. They visited a few times and although we have always known the mother to be a little like this, there wasn't really an instance where she was directly accusing us of things or insulting us or anything like that. Invited the family because they were old friends who were around a lot when I was little and have been to major family events for as long as I can remember. Wish I hadn't sent save-the-dates already or after this conversation she may no longer have been on the guest list. 

    However, she did get a save the date, so I'll honor that. It's comforting to know she probably won't come because she's a grudge holder and won't want to make the trip from Texas to come to the wedding of someone she is apparently upset with. 
  • Ro041Ro041
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    I never smile and nod at bad advice.  I just can't stomach it.  I usually say something along the lines of, "Actually, from what I have read, it is bad etiquette to......"  

    charlotte989875k&n62517Knottie737c32aade6d0ff7DrillSergeantCat
  • What's the registry information for if they don't want boxed gifts?
    InLoveInQueensshort+sassyk&n62517DrillSergeantCat
  • Some people!  Calling way before the RSVP date.  Then blatantly admitting it is mainly because she is fishing for a gift for her daughter.

    If I was your mom, I would have replied with a "sweet as pie" voice, "Oh!  There must be some confusion.  The invitation said 'no boxed gifts', so I just assumed they don't want a gift."

    I realize that "boxed gifts" are often sent before the wedding.  But it's been my experience that cash/checks are usually put in a wedding card and given to the couple at the wedding.  That MOB seriously needs to hold her horses before she offends half the guest list.

    @k&;n62517, hopefully she'll just decline your wedding, like you're expecting.

    I would be ecstatic if someone gifted me a metal chicken, lol.  I love those guys. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    OurWildKingdomk&n62517InLoveInQueens
  • I knew I wasn't crazy. I can't go (we'll be honeymooning, so it's nothing personal) and was already going to send a gift but now I'm doing it very unhappily. I'd hate for the mother to think I'm sending one because of her delightful request for one. 
  • I love metal yard things! Theres a place down the road from me that sells a bunch of scrap metal created animals. When I grow up I'm going to get the T Rex :) They sell minis if you want me to grab one and ship it to you for this wedding :wink:
    k&n62517SP29OurWildKingdom
  • This is me being totally petty but I'd almost want to send a boxed gift just for the hell of it. 
    This. I would 100% send a boxed gift. You don't get to dictate what kind of gift I give you. If you want to return it, then fine but you will be making that trip to the store to do it. 
    InLoveInQueensk&n62517DrillSergeantCat
  • k&n62517 said:
    ...

    Got her invitation in the mail for her July wedding. I got it in March. My wedding is in June and I am not sending out invites until the end of April which I think by some people's standards is already a little early so I was surprised to get hers so early. 

    There were a number of things within the invite that I have learned from looking through these boards are etiquette no-nos. It requested a formal dress code (it's a country club wedding, not sure why formal is necessary), mentioned where to find her registry, said it was an adults only event, and then requested no box gifts. Wasn't sure what that meant but from what I've read online, it's a special way of saying please bring us money. 




    ****SITB***

    I'm confused about the two bolded parts. Why does she have a registry but not want boxed gifts??? Or is it a Honeyfund?
    SP29
  • LD1970 said:
    CMGragain said:
    It is definitely time for you to shop for a metal chicken as a wedding gift.

    Country-Rustic-22-034-Tall-Metal-ROOSTER-Chicken-Yard-Art-Barn-Farm
    This one is two feet tall.  Have it monogrammed!



    A week or two ago, H & I were driving somewhere and saw a HUGE metal chicken in someone's front yard, about as tall as a person.  I started cracking up, and had to explain TK metal chicken thing to H.  

    He wondered if maybe they asked for money as wedding gifts and a knottie was one of their guests.
    I think the joke actually originated from this woman's blog. And we extrapolated it into a white elephant-ish wedding gift. (someone correct me if that's wrong.) Pretty amazing either way. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • LD1970 said:
    CMGragain said:
    It is definitely time for you to shop for a metal chicken as a wedding gift.

    Country-Rustic-22-034-Tall-Metal-ROOSTER-Chicken-Yard-Art-Barn-Farm
    This one is two feet tall.  Have it monogrammed!



    A week or two ago, H & I were driving somewhere and saw a HUGE metal chicken in someone's front yard, about as tall as a person.  I started cracking up, and had to explain TK metal chicken thing to H.  

    He wondered if maybe they asked for money as wedding gifts and a knottie was one of their guests.
    I think the joke actually originated from this woman's blog. And we extrapolated it into a white elephant-ish wedding gift. (someone correct me if that's wrong.) Pretty amazing either way. 
    Yup. I believe you're correct. I love Jenny Lawson. She's hysterical. 
  • @JediElizabeth My best guess is she wants people to purchase gifts from her registry to send to her in advance and then if you would rather, you can bring cash as a gift to the wedding but don't bring a boxed gift to the wedding. I don't know? 

    When I first read it I thought she was basically requesting that no one get them any gifts because I had no idea what no boxed gifts meant. But she listed registry information and I went and checked it out. It's like Bed Bath and Beyond and Target. 





  • LD1970 said:


    CMGragain said:

    It is definitely time for you to shop for a metal chicken as a wedding gift.

    Country-Rustic-22-034-Tall-Metal-ROOSTER-Chicken-Yard-Art-Barn-Farm
    This one is two feet tall.  Have it monogrammed!





    A week or two ago, H & I were driving somewhere and saw a HUGE metal chicken in someone's front yard, about as tall as a person.  I started cracking up, and had to explain TK metal chicken thing to H.  

    He wondered if maybe they asked for money as wedding gifts and a knottie was one of their guests.


    I think the joke actually originated from this woman's blog. And we extrapolated it into a white elephant-ish wedding gift. (someone correct me if that's wrong.) Pretty amazing either way. 


    Yup. I believe you're correct. I love Jenny Lawson. She's hysterical. 


    Crying from laughing.  And about to send H the link to the blog post.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    My favorite antique place has a giant metal chicken out front.

    I'd probably try to find something off registry from a really obscure (read hard to return) store and send that to her. 
    OurWildKingdomshort+sassyk&n62517MissKittyDanger
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    member
    edited April 2017




    My favorite antique place has a giant metal chicken out front.

    I'd probably try to find something off registry from a really obscure (read hard to return) store and send that to her.

    SITB

    Found these on Etsy:

    https://www.etsy.com/listing/99703651/choose-large-scary-clown-head-collection

    https://www.etsy.com/listing/510274846/clay-art-before-and-after-wedding-salt

    https://www.etsy.com/listing/493333984/vintage-crystals-rhinestones-ball-orb



    k&n62517MissKittyDanger
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