Photos and Video

HELP!!!! Fi is being a Scrooge!!!!!

I need some advise on how to deal with my stingy fi!  We are getting married in 5 months and need to book a photog ASAP.  We have two possible photogs available for our day.  One is local and charges only $100 an hour and is not very good at all.  The other is coming from about four hours away and is a great photographer.  I love her style!!!  However...she will set us back about $2,500 (haven't received final quote yet).  That's including travel for her and another photographer (they will have to spend the night if they do our wedding), 8 hours worth of time, and some pics and photo book.  How do I convince my fi to stop being such a Scrooge so we can have beautiful pics that we can enjoy for the rest of our lives????

Re: HELP!!!! Fi is being a Scrooge!!!!!

  • I need some advise on how to deal with my stingy fi!  We are getting married in 5 months and need to book a photog ASAP.  We have two possible photogs available for our day.  One is local and charges only $100 an hour and is not very good at all.  The other is coming from about four hours away and is a great photographer.  I love her style!!!  However...she will set us back about $2,500 (haven't received final quote yet).  That's including travel for her and another photographer (they will have to spend the night if they do our wedding), 8 hours worth of time, and some pics and photo book.  How do I convince my fi to stop being such a Scrooge so we can have beautiful pics that we can enjoy for the rest of our lives????
    I want to be with you on this, but I can see the Scrooge side.

    I know very few couples married more than a few years who have wedding photos displayed in their homes (not counting grandmas who have every picture ever on their stairway wall). Even if you display, you'll probably choose one. One. If you make an album, you'll realistically only keep a handful of photos. Not hundreds. Do you think this "not very good" photographer could manage to take 10 good pictures? Because realistically, that's probably all you're really going to keep, long term. 

    As far as making a case to Scrooge, I think it falls squarely on your budget. If you have a big budget, make the case that this is a tiny percentage of it, so what's the big deal? If you have a little budget, tell him how important it is to you and that you'd be willing to cut $XXXX (insert difference in price) from XYZ in order to be able to afford it. 
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    charlotte989875OurWildKingdomSP29
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    I completely ditto southern belle, especially the last paragraph. Personally, I can't imagine spending that much on photography, and I think it's way too expensive, but everyone has different budgets and priorities. 

    Are those really the only two photographers available? There isn't anyone else? I think you should try to find someone else who is a middle ground you can both agree on. 

    OurWildKingdom
  • No these aren't the only photographers available, but they are the cheapest.  I live in a very remote area and all of the photographers I've found within 100 miles of me are already booked (I've contacted roughly 15 photographers). I live in the Adirondack Mountains of NY and EVERYONE gets married here in the fall.  I've found other photographers that are available, but live so far away from me that their prices (including travel) are more than $3,000.

    Our budget allows for spending the money because everything else we are doing is low scale and on the cheap side.  I totally understand where my fi is coming from as I'm having a hard time dishing that much on a photographer, but I'm afraid to go so cheap that I hate my pictures and don't buy a single one.  I was married once before (about 13 years ago) and we got a super cheap photographer who took horrible pictures.  I didn't purchase a single one or make my own prints and always regretted cheaping out on the one thing that you have after the wedding is over (aside from my husband.  LOL).
  • Can you ask the photographer whose style you love if she would quote you a price for just her services (rather than her and another photographer)? That way you would save on paying for travel/accommodations and hopefully the fee. 

    H and I only had one photographer and never felt like we needed a second. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • Yeah...  I think someone was trying to get a free vacation out of me.  The photographer got back to us with the quote.  The two photographer package was about 4k and the single photographer package (with less time and less photos included) was about 3k.  The travel charge was almost 1k (the trip is about a 4 hour drive).  I got a quote from another photographer from Florida that was going to charge the same travel fee and that was for two round trip plane tickets, a three day car rental, and two nights in a hotel. 

    Oh well....back to the drawing board.... 
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I think $2500 is a good deal actually. I think that's about what we paid? I do come from a family of pro photographers though, and I'm biased. But pictures were really important to me. 

    InLoveInQueens
  • I think $2500 is a good deal actually. I think that's about what we paid? I do come from a family of pro photographers though, and I'm biased. But pictures were really important to me. 
    Same, on the good deal part, at least. We paid less but we also only have one photographer for 3 hours (we booked an elopement package since we only wanted couple pictures, the ceremony, and a few family shots afterwards). I also 100% get not wanting to skimp on the photographer, that was my one "need" and the most expensive part of our entire wedding, and it was well worth it. We have a big blow up of one of my favorite pictures of us in front of the Brooklyn Bridge hanging in our living room and we gave pictures as gifts to our families and they loved it.
    OurWildKingdom
  • Maybe you guys need to talk about how much the photographers and resulting photos will mean to you. For some people, it's just a thing they do because grandma will want some family photos. Some people love their wedding photos. Our photogs really set the tone for the day and got some awesome shots of things we missed, so we felt like we could re-live the wedding. I don't know how many we'll print out and hang in our house, but we do plan to make both sets of parents a photo album. 

    It also depends on what you mean by the first one being "not good." Is it their skill, personality, etc?

    You could also ask the photog you like about shortening the time they would work, bringing one instead of two, etc. Tell them your budget and see if they can work with it.
    OurWildKingdom
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    While $2500 is a large amount of money (though that seems a pretty standard price for wedding photographers IME), if you are not happy with the cheap photographer option, I wouldn't choose that person. We went with a cheaper photographer who we ended up having issues with, so while I am not interested in spending a ton of money on photography, I can understand your caution.

    Can you ask your FI what would make him change his mind and consider this photographer? Nothing? Cutting something else from the budget? Has he seen both photographers' portfolios?

    Is there a way you can get one photographer with a shorter package? Do you really need 8 hours of photos? Ceremony, family, BP and Bride + Groom shots are all you *really* need, which you could get in 2-4 hours of photography.

    I think you have to come at this as photography is important to you, so this is one area you would like to spend the money on.


    OurWildKingdom
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