Thursday!!

kimmiinthemitten

VarunaTT said:

Ugh, I'm sorry for your H.  We had to do the same thing w/Pride volunteers.  There's an entire section about, "If we have to make a phone call, call we say who WE are?  Can we leave a message?  If we call, who do we ask for?"  It's terrible, but scary to think we could inadvertantly out someone.

Good for your husband though, and thank you.  We've got a child here in town that was happily using the men's restroom in the HS and the moment Obama's protections were lifted, has been experiencing bullying trying to use the women's.  It's so heartbreaking.  

Yeah, you do not mess with his kids.  He's had kids raped by their step parents, beaten or left by their bio ones.  It's sad that because of his experience in teaching his first instinct when a student shares an identity secret is to discover if he needs to protect them from their families.  

And thanks for always being a resource.  I hope you don't ever feel like in these types of conversations we ever expect you (or OWK or whomever else) to be a spokesperson for all people.

charlotte989875

kimmiinthemitten said:

VarunaTT said:

Ugh, I'm sorry for your H.  We had to do the same thing w/Pride volunteers.  There's an entire section about, "If we have to make a phone call, call we say who WE are?  Can we leave a message?  If we call, who do we ask for?"  It's terrible, but scary to think we could inadvertantly out someone.

Good for your husband though, and thank you.  We've got a child here in town that was happily using the men's restroom in the HS and the moment Obama's protections were lifted, has been experiencing bullying trying to use the women's.  It's so heartbreaking.  

Yeah, you do not mess with his kids.  He's had kids raped by their step parents, beaten or left by their bio ones.  It's sad that because of his experience in teaching his first instinct when a student shares an identity secret is to discover if he needs to protect them from their families.  

And thanks for always being a resource.  I hope you don't ever feel like in these types of conversations we ever expect you (or OWK or whomever else) to be a spokesperson for all people.

We do the same thing in college; I tell my students the university gives me their at birth/legally registered information, but I ask them for their preferred names, pronouns, and the circumstances with which I should use their legal info. It's slightly better at the university level because I can't legally discuss any students info, or even confirm they're in a class, without their consent, but it saddens/amazes me some faculty don't do this. I also put my preferred pronouns in my syllabus, many people put them in email signatures in an effort to normalize choosing pronouns. 

DrillSergeantCat

So my mil stayed with Mouse today. I have an idiot proof thermometer that takes one second to read by holding it 1/2" from the forehead and pressing a button. She's hasn't given him any Tylenol or Motrin all day because according to her, his temperature was 97.3. I took it when I got home because he felt hot to the touch and it's 102.2! How my H survived infancy with that woman is beyond me!

VarunaTT

I had to think about how to word this right.  I don't consider myself a spokesperson (and I'm absolutely not)...but I do have some training/knowledge about a marginalized community that I'm part of and an ally of, as well.  I consider part of my job, b/c of my community work, to be an advocate with that training/knowledge and to let people ask the hard questions...so that the marginalized person doesn't have to deal w/answering.  I will tell you if I don't know and figure out where to find the answer.

I remember telling Hookapants once that I was sorry I asked so many stupid questions.  She told me she could tell my questions were from a genuine place, that I was trying to learn, and the question I was bringing weren't Google search easy.  As long as I don't feel the urge to roll my eyes and tell you to Google it (which I've done to someone before), you're good.  I'll at least give you a source for reading.