Almost Friday!

charlotte989875

Hows everyone this morning? Crazy storms here in Ohio so WFH means the cat and dog must be constantly in contact, at least H is home too. Final (hopefully) dentist appointment for this damn root canal this morning, then resting. What's everyone else up to?

charlotte989875

Didn't want to post this in the main body, and a trigger warning for anyone battling depression or suicidal thoughts. 



A giant in my field, someone who's work I've cited more than any other scholar, and whom I've met a few times, killed himself yesterday. And wrote and posted a blog entry. I didn't know him well, but many of my friends and colleagues did. He had a fantastic career, had a huge reputation in the field, did so much do junior scholars, and the discipline. So there has been a lot of introspection in my circles yesterday and this morning about mental health in academia (and the study of violent conflict more specifically) and how little we discuss it. It's been a tough day. 

kimmiinthemitten

I'm so sorry to hear that @charlotte989875.  Suicide is so difficult, and mental health is so under looked and stigmatized. I long for a day when treating depression is as openly discussed and accepted as treating a sinus infection. 

We just had a sales rep out to look at our front landscaping bed for a quote. What I wanted to do will cost upwards of 5k thanks to drainage issues so we're back to Plan B.  As long as it's an improvement on the weed and rock bed we currently have I'll be happy.

Today we finally leave for Denver, and we have the same weather so I'm really excited to get on a plane (sarcasm). I'm not sure when exactly, but in the past few years I've started to get anxiety about flying. Not bad anxiety but enough that I can't relax during normal turbulence. My head knows I'm fine, but my stomach does not. 

missJeanLouise

Wow Charlotte. That is heartbreaking. Is mental health an issue in academia?

The symphony was awesome. The sound in the building was amazing. We will definitely do it again. I was initially salty with DH because I put a decent amount of effort into looking good for this date and he wore cargo pants and sneakers. But we still had a good time.

now I am just waiting for Prudie.

bleve0821

@charlotte989875, I am so sorry. 

I drove through so much smoke fog this morning on my way to work, it really must be 4/20.  I also got behind alllll the slooooooowest drivers.  Honestly, 40 in a 55-zone?  Very frustrating.

Got the chest freezer.  It's a little smaller than I really wanted, but it holds 150lbs of food (supposedly), and, really, what do the two of us need with MORE than that?

Twiggy ate my favorite new wonder bra yesterday.  "Wonder" as in, "Wonder why it took me so long to find this amazing bra."  So that was an awesome find.  The night deteriorated further with an epic migraine that nothing could touch.  I get migraines pretty often, but rarely do they cripple me like that.  I suspect it's hormonal, and coupled with all my other weird mood issues, it probably means my body is once again starting to reject the BCP I'm on.  IDK what I'm going to do--my insurance won't cover my next exam til July, and I don't want to go off the pill for 3 months.  And my doctors keep threatening me with progestin-only pills, which I also don't want, for a number of reasons.  Obviously, there are other options, but I still have to get through July, and last night's migraine was bad enough, I don't know if I can wait that long.

WinstonsGirl

@charlotte989875 I'm sorry to hear that.  Hugs to you, even though you didn't know them well.

I hope you're feeing better this morning atomicblonde 

I have a job interview today, which I am wholly unprepared for and don't even know if I want the job.  It's for a leadership position at a local high school.  Not sure I'm ready to leave my current school, but the experience is good at least.  

charlotte989875

missJeanLouise said:

Wow Charlotte. That is heartbreaking. Is mental health an issue in academia?

It is, one that we don't talk about at all. Academia is isolating and there's a ton of pressure (getting promoted is referred to as "publish or perish") to produce more work. Any "flaw" or failure pre-tenure can be a reason to deny your tenure promotion. A good friend of mine quit is job in the middle of this semester because he had a breakdown and was suicidal. 

kimmiinthemitten said:

I'm so sorry to hear that @charlotte989875.  Suicide is so difficult, and mental health is so under looked and stigmatized. I long for a day when treating depression is as openly discussed and accepted as treating a sinus infection. 

We just had a sales rep out to look at our front landscaping bed for a quote. What I wanted to do will cost upwards of 5k thanks to drainage issues so we're back to Plan B.  As long as it's an improvement on the weed and rock bed we currently have I'll be happy.

Today we finally leave for Denver, and we have the same weather so I'm really excited to get on a plane (sarcasm). I'm not sure when exactly, but in the past few years I've started to get anxiety about flying. Not bad anxiety but enough that I can't relax during normal turbulence. My head knows I'm fine, but my stomach does not. 

It looks like it's clearing down this way, hopefully you'll get out without too many problems! Have a great trip! I've never been to Denver, but looks amazing! 

missJeanLouise

@atomicblonde have you tried non pill options?

@kimmiinthemitten have fun in Denver!!

@WinstonsGirl good luck on the interview. Even if you don't want it.

charlotte989875

atomicblonde said:

@charlotte989875, I am so sorry. 

I drove through so much smoke fog this morning on my way to work, it really must be 4/20.  I also got behind alllll the slooooooowest drivers.  Honestly, 40 in a 55-zone?  Very frustrating.

Got the chest freezer.  It's a little smaller than I really wanted, but it holds 150lbs of food (supposedly), and, really, what do the two of us need with MORE than that?

Twiggy ate my favorite new wonder bra yesterday.  "Wonder" as in, "Wonder why it took me so long to find this amazing bra."  So that was an awesome find.  The night deteriorated further with an epic migraine that nothing could touch.  I get migraines pretty often, but rarely do they cripple me like that.  I suspect it's hormonal, and coupled with all my other weird mood issues, it probably means my body is once again starting to reject the BCP I'm on.  IDK what I'm going to do--my insurance won't cover my next exam til July, and I don't want to go off the pill for 3 months.  And my doctors keep threatening me with progestin-only pills, which I also don't want, for a number of reasons.  Obviously, there are other options, but I still have to get through July, and last night's migraine was bad enough, I don't know if I can wait that long.

I'm on progestin-only now because I was getting horomone induced migraines and my blood pressure was too high on estrogen-progestin pills. I don't love them TBH, but I didn't have much choice. But my headaches are gone so there's that. Good luck, finding the right pill sucks especially if you start to reject the ones that do work. 

Also, sorry about your bra, that sucks too. 

MissKittyDanger

@charlotte989875  I'm sorry to hear I missed before, but what year/grades/etc do you teach? Could this open up conversation to mental health at least?
Booo dentist!

@kimmiinthemitten  you'll do fine I know the feeling though. Bring gravol. It'll help the anxious stomach.

@atomicblonde  Twiggy!! Tsk!
Boo migraine. Is there a chance you could call your dr to see what your options are until July?


Today is actually my friday lol I booked myself a long weekend for a few reasons.
I could not sleep for the life of me last night, and I felt nauseated. It wasn't until after 1am I fell asleep, and it was only because M came to bed finally.

Plans:
Friday I planned on seeing a friend for awhile, we're doing some shopping. I need to pick up a couple things for summer like skirts. Maybe another pair of capri's. It's mostly just to hang out.

Saturday my mum and I are going to see "The Comic Strippers" in the evening. The mall near our place is having a tire return, so we'll likely bring tires in. We got our car 3 years ago and we still have old car tires .... fack lmao

Sunday has no plans right now. Might be just cleaning. I do wanna drop empties at the beer store, there's a lot.

Monday .... ahhh I know my body is dreading it.. Monday will be 3yrs my dad passed away. I can feel the anxiety in myself.
My mum and I are going downtown to do a bunch of things. Mix of "keeping mind off it" and "doing things he liked"
I've been on top of making sure I take my anxiety pills, because I can feel it just ready to bubble over .... *breaths*

charlotte989875

@MissKittyDanger I'm a university professor and work mainly with upper level undergraduate and graduate students. I don't have tenure so it's risky for me to be too critical of the field publicly, but in light of what's happened many senior scholars (people with tenure) have been speaking out so that's a start. 

It's good you're recognizing the anxiety as it's coming and taking steps to care for yourself. 

bleve0821

@MissKittyDanger, this is cyclical, I usually go about 2 years on a pill before I start to reject it (which is one of the reasons I haven't looked at something like Mirena, because it's that much easier to stop taking a pill if something starts to go bad).  Every time this happens, my doctor tells me to "make an appointment to come in and we'll do a complete exam before we discuss options," mostly because I am at an increased risk of stroke because of the BCP and my tendency to not only get migraines, but to get auras without the migraine... Also, since we just moved, I am going to have to see someone local, and the new doctor would obviously not want to recommend anything until I have a complete exam with them and they've had a chance to review my history.

I mean, it can't HURT to call, but I already know what they're going to tell me.

Ro041

Good morning WW.  Things have been a bit crazy around here.  I have been working a lot and I have started gearing up for our 6th annual Cinco de Mayo party.  I can't believe we have been doing this party for this long.  We have a tiny house and usually have around 50 people come through the house.  It's insane and so much fun.

Speaking of the house, today is the 5 year anniversary of the closing on my house!  We have been working to get the premium down a bit so that I can get the MIP taken off the mortgage.  I have to go to the bank today and submit the official request in writing.  Woohoo!

mrsconn23

That's terrible @charlotte989875.  

I didn't win anything at Coach purse bingo.  It was still fun and beer was cheap. 

We're supposed to get some nasty weather this afternoon and then it's going to be chilly.  

DH's grandpa is being put into home hospice care.    He's been amazingly resilient through having brain cancer for years, but it's just beyond anything that medicine can do for him at this time. He's 85 (I think) and I'm so very glad we went over for his bday in November.  He got through the holidays and has been on a backslide ever since.  DH is going to try to go see him this weekend or next.  I won't be able to go since I have work and another thing I can't get out of over the next two weekends.  

But to end this on a high note...It's PRUDIE DAY and also, a funny.  DH works for a company that produces and sells vitamins and supplements.  He's in warehouse management and was going through a shipment.  He pulled out a bottle of pills called, "Yummie Cummie".   He showed me a pic of the bottle.  They make it for men and women.   SMH

sparklepants41

I'm so sorry, @charlotte989875. Hugs for you and the rest of your colleagues. 

Last night we had a team outing to a relatively new restaurant in the Fort Point neighborhood I have been wanting to try. And now it's my new favorite place in all of Boston. I went home last night and looked up the owner/chef/pastry chef to find out more about their backgrounds and how they teamed up to create this amazing spot, and come to find out I went to elementary school with the pastry chef!! So random.

Today at work I have to get a draft out of the deadline I am leading, and then tonight I am meeting up with a friend for dinner at a Mexican place downtown. I'm so excited for all the guac. 

kvruns

sorry to hear that @charlotte989875

@atomicblonde do you take any meds for your migraines? Mine are mostly hormonal too. 

MissKittyDanger

@charlotte989875  How unfortunate it's happening in general My mum's friend, her oldest son suffers from depression and due to the nature of the program - the school recognizes this isn't uncommon for students to have mental health issues so they have people to check on the students and encourage them to do certain measures to recognize the issue and seek help.

It's taken a long time to realize certain warning signs in myself since the anxiety can just pop up out of no where, but given what's coming up I try to be more aware.

@atomicblonde  what about something like the patch {evra} ?

VarunaTT

@charlotte989875 I also imagine the push and pull between trying to even get a tenure track and competing with the universities changover to the "per course" faculty plays into mental health issues as well.  I have a friend who finally gave in to go to a PhD program.  She refused, b/c with her masters, she was competing with PhDs as per course faculty for miserly wages.  She eventually decided that if she wanted to grow in her career, she was going to have to give in, get the PhD, compete for per course for awhile and hopefully win a tenure track one day.  What we've done to universities is shameful, in my mind.

I'm in a funky weird headspace again.  I think it's just part of my person cycle.  I'm getting stressed about commitments and that I just don't want to do what I'm doing.  I tried to hand off this co-chair position and it's not going to work out for at least 2 more years.  I'm at a loss of what to do.  And while my job pays well and, in my mind, is easy, it's not very satisfying.  I think it's the difference between being at boutique firms and turn-and-burn firms.  I've lost the interesting aspect of my job (analysis and client relationships) for security.  Realistically, I need 5 years under my belt here though, before I go looking elsewhere.  And really, though the firm has a bad reputation for employee satisfaction and I can tell why, I'm pretty happy in terms of wages, benefits, and relationships.

DrillSergeantCat

I'm having issues with one of the recruiters I'm working with. She's not communicating with me and it's bothersome as she's hiring for a position I'm interested in and they've been interviewing this week.

Other than that, I'm hoping to hear back from the interview yesterday and that's about it.

MissKittyDanger

I've had horrible sleep all week and with unable to sleep until late, this ends up being me at night.
{side note: I also went to bed early because I was obviously tired ...}

redwoodoriginal

@atomicblonde the thing about the mirena is that the hormones are localized to your uterus area so they shouldn't affect you the way a bcp does. Or you could try the non hormonal version like the paragard. 

Migraines are the worst. I had one for 10 days straight and finally gave up and went to a neurologist and got some meds. Changed my life. (Til I had to go off them to TTC but while I was on them it was great). 

6fsn

@charlotte989875 I'm so sorry.

This morning I got a nice long walk in while everyone was at school.  Then worked for a bit.  The grass needs to be cut so I'm going to see if I can get it done this afternoon to surprise DH.  That means Max and the weather need to cooperate so I'm not holding my breath.

We're being attacked by beetles!  There must be 50 dead ones on the front porch and it's so gross I'm leaving them for DH to take car of.

Heffalump

@charlotte989875 , I'm so sorry.  I do hope this helps spark some changes, but how sad.

@redwoodoriginal, ditto on Mirena.  It doesn't work for everyone, but I have had virtually no side effects with mine, and I'm on my second now.

I finally ordered a dress for my brother's wedding.  It was stressing me out because I don't know how their sizing runs, if their size charts are accurate, etc., and if it doesn't fit right, I can't exactly run to the mall to exchange it.  But I went a little big and figured my tailor can always take it in if necessary.  Boatloads easier than shipping back and forth to Pakistan.

I need to get my shit together for this trip.  I have no idea what we're doing after the wedding.  DH wants to see the Tower.  I would like to see Westminster Abbey.  My mom wants to go to Harrod's.  DS would die for the transport museum, Wooz is more of a Natural History Museum kind of girl.  London Eye, Thames Cruise--we'd have to stay months to do it all.  My mom is pretty high energy and wants to do like 4 things every day, and 1-2 will be plenty to overload the kids.

S/O Wooz, the jig is officially up with the Easter Bunny and all of his colleagues. 

bleve0821

@kvruns, I currently take Imitrex, and I used to take Maxalt (I think), and neither have worked for me.  The Maxalt made me sick to my stomach, the Imitrex just doesn't do anything, but no one will prescribe me anything stronger (like Tylenol with codeine, like DH keeps telling me to ask for) because it's not a "chronic" problem.

mrsconn23

Heffalump said:

S/O Wooz, the jig is officially up with the Easter Bunny and all of his colleagues. 

I mistakenly said a couple times that I bought stuff that was in DefConn's basket and I was corrected, "NO! The Easter Bunny brought that for me!"

DH and the kiddo tried to talk me into letting them tell DefConn that the EB wasn't 'real' (because they were having an asshole moment, I guess?) and I put the kibosh on it.  I know he's 6, but let me have my baby damn it. 

MissKittyDanger

mrsconn23 said:

Heffalump said:

S/O Wooz, the jig is officially up with the Easter Bunny and all of his colleagues. 

I mistakenly said a couple times that I bought stuff that was in DefConn's basket and I was corrected, "NO! The Easter Bunny brought that for me!"

DH and the kiddo tried to talk me into letting them tell DefConn that the EB wasn't 'real' (because they were having an asshole moment, I guess?) and I put the kibosh on it.  I know he's 6, but let me have my baby damn it. 

I was 9 when I questioned my mum. She said "No they're not real" and I started crying. She had to turn it around and say that Santa, EB, etc always want to know if kids still believe and now she could tell them I did.
"I was testing you so I could tell them if you still believed"

Officially, I was probably 11 when I stopped believing but my cousin is 7yrs younger than me so I had to fake belief for a few years.

CharmedPam

@misskittydanger, sad to hear about Monday, but sounds like a good day is planned!
@charlotte989875, what horrible news.  Must be shocking!  
@mrsconn23, was yummie cummie just bromalin? or something like that?  What's what we used back in the day....betcha it's cheaper to get bromalin then that too!

I'm so tired ya'll.  the coworkers I went out with to dinner stayed out till 11:00.  Went to bed at 11:45.  DH got home at 2:30 so I woke up around that time, and stayed up to talk to him.  So I lost an hour of sleep during the night too.

I keep looking for Aladdin tickets for this weekend, but I honestly don't want to pay $300 for them, which is the only seat I would want. I dunno, I'm more into "chicago" playing in Milwaukee next weekend instead of Aladdin - unless people on here have seen it and tell me I'm crazy?

6fsn

I'm laughing at my neighbor. He has thursdays off with no kids in sight. His wife gets so mad that he never does anything for the house on that day- no store, laundry, cleaning, yard work, etc. I can't blame her he could do one thing. 

He has been wanting a basketball hoop and she's been saying not right now. 

Its's Thursday, the grass is a mile high, she already texted she has to go to the store after work.  He's outside putting together a new basketball hoop.  She's going to be PISSED! 

kvruns

atomicblonde said:

@kvruns, I currently take Imitrex, and I used to take Maxalt (I think), and neither have worked for me.  The Maxalt made me sick to my stomach, the Imitrex just doesn't do anything, but no one will prescribe me anything stronger (like Tylenol with codeine, like DH keeps telling me to ask for) because it's not a "chronic" problem.

Imitrex is what I've used, sorry to hear it doesn't work for you. My BFF has really bad ones and has shots she can self-administer when it is really bad.

MissKittyDanger

I can't believe I forgot to mention the excitement this morning!

So every time Penny chatters outside, I always go to look on why. This morning she's at the window chattering and almost pressed against the patio. I go around, giving distance - thinking it's maybe a squirrel or another cat near the window - and see nothing.
What.

I crouch down and really try looking in weird areas, and suddenly there's paws in the window well.
RACCOON!!
There he was, sitting in the window well. M came over, and the way he touched the patio door it made a noise so critter scampers up and slowly towards the fence - watching us, watch him - and goes up the fence. Fatty had a bit of issues but eventually got up.

We're now going to be more aware when we're in the yard, but he was out pretty late! {this was about 7:45am - our backyard is full sun in the morning}

*Barbie*

redwoodoriginal said:

@atomicblonde the thing about the mirena is that the hormones are localized to your uterus area so they shouldn't affect you the way a bcp does. Or you could try the non hormonal version like the paragard. 

Migraines are the worst. I had one for 10 days straight and finally gave up and went to a neurologist and got some meds. Changed my life. (Til I had to go off them to TTC but while I was on them it was great). 

I got the same feedback from my OBGYNs re: Mirena. I'm ~18 months into my 3rd one, and I love it. It cut back on the hormonal migraines quite a bit from what I was getting on BCP.I will still get them due to hormone fluctuations during my cycle, but nowhere near as frequently. Removal is easy, so if it's not working well for you, or you want to TTC, you'll have to get your OBGYN to remove - all they do is pull it out. 

@atomicblonde
I'd recommend finding a quality neurologist in your new area and talking about different options or therapies. Maxalt made me sick as well, and Imatrex and Relpax didn't work for me. I currently take Treximet as a heavy duty med (it's a combo sumatriptan and NSAID). I do get some gnarly side effects (body aches and heat intolerance) but a lot of times it will stop the headache or significantly lessen it. I also get Botox every 3 months, which has made a huge difference for me. I've also taken Cambia which is considerably milder than the Treximet - I will take that at work/when I'm driving. I take the Treximet only when I can fall asleep for a few hours.

I could almost guarantee that nobody would provide you with a long term narcotic painkiller (codeine) for migraines. They might be willing to give you a short term prescription for something stronger (e.g. my doctor will give me a "cocktail" with steroids and valium, and a 3rd drug - although it's escaping me right now)  but that a few time per year if i'm experiencing a really severe spell (either in terms of pain or duration)

I'm not interested in another pregnancy, but for a long time DK was asking me to consider it. You'll also want your neuro involved in that discussion because basically all of the treatments that I'm on (daily preventatives and the abortives) aren't pregnancy compatible. That was part of our discussion re: another kid. I'm high risk, have an increased pre-e risk because i had it with Wolverine, and I would basically have to discontinue my migraine meds which would make pregnancy unbearable. (the neuro that i saw when pregnant gave me demerol and told me not to take it unless absolutely necessary - like 8+/10 on the pain scale. my migraines have gotten a lot worse overall since I had Wolverine.)