Wedding Woes

The first paragraph and the second should be from different letters.

Dear Prudence,
I’m a 28-year-old guy, and I finally got my first girlfriend earlier this year. Then, out of nowhere, she broke up with me. She said she didn’t see it going long-term so it made sense to end it early, though there really wasn’t any conflict. We only dated for two months, and it was great. We seem to connect fine even after our breakup. But one thing she told me that’s stuck is that I won’t do well dating online because none of my “great qualities” come across there. And I havestruggled tremendously with online dating my whole adult life. I don’t get matched often and my messages often get ignored, but I’m reasonably attractive and I have a lot going on in my life.

I am very busy with my career and my new campaign for political office, so I can’t spend tons of time meeting women in person. I established some confidence from the relationship, but it has been completely wiped away in the months since then.

—Digitally Undesirable

Re: The first paragraph and the second should be from different letters.

  • Quit online dating and start going out. Online dating isn't for everyone and sounds like LW needs to physically meet people so his qualities are shown.
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  • atomicblondeatomicblonde The Shire
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    There doesn't have to be "conflict" for a relationship to end.  The chemistry is there, or it isn't.  LW needs to not be so hung up on the why and start focusing on moving forward.  Also, "you won't do well with online dating" is such a bitchy thing to say.  It's the millennial equivalent of "you're such a great person, but..."

    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • I want to go "copy and paste" some of my post from the "he's just not that into you" Prudie letter post, lol.

    LW is obviously inexperienced with relationships and I wish I could bring him up to speed.  Don't ruminate over the dumb s**t people say when they are breaking up with someone.  They'll say anything to make themselves look good/not "hurt" you/end the conversation as fast as possible.

    For whatever reason, your ex didn't see you as a long-term prospect.  That doesn't mean no one will.  That just means she didn't.

    And, although it's been a long time since I was in the online dating world, it was substantially harder for men back then than it was for women.  Even the good looking, successful ones.  I'm guessing that is still true. 

    With all that said, if he's campaigning for a political position and doesn't have much time anyway, it is probably not a good time to be looking for someone new anyway.  Focus on the campaign, FFS!!!  Priorities, man.  And if someone IRL catches your eye, ask her out.  I'm assuming he networks with a lot of people?  Let people know you're looking if that's natural to drop in a conversation.  Many people love to match-make.

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