Do my invites look okay?

prettypixelz

I'm a bride on a budget, so I included RSVP information on the back of the invitation rather than on separate cards. I really liked this template, so I just went with it how it is, but I'm wondering if it looks too empty? Is the wording okay? My fiancee's dad paid for the venue, but pretty much all the rest is paid for by us, so I wasn't too sure what to say in the first line.

southernbelle0915

The first line is the "host line". Contrary to some internet commentary (Lauren Conrad, you are not an etiquette expert, please stop), it is not the "who paid for this shindig" line. It tells people who to ask if they have questions, who they should expect to welcome them, and who they can thank for the party. If that would be y'all, then use wording where the couple is hosting: 

Name
and (spell it out)
Name
request the honor of your presence (if getting married in a church)
request the pleasure of your company (if getting married anywhere else)
at the celebration of their marriage
Saturday the fourth of November (year is not necessary, obviously it's this year)
at six o'clock (am/pm not necessary, obviously it's not at 6am)
Venue Name
Venue Address (spell out street/avenue/drive etc.)
City, State (spell out the state)

I think your RSVP wording is ok, but "by call" seems awkward to me. I'd use "by phone".

I would also move your RSVP date back by 1 week at a minimum. RSVPs are usually asked for 2 weeks before the wedding. Five weeks is too far out. Four weeks is really the max. 

CMGragain

I have a problem with the phrase "celebration of their marriage".  Is this supposed to be a wedding invitation?  It doesn't sound like it.  If I got this, I would assume that you are already married, and that this is an invitation to an after-party to celebrate the fact that you are already married.

Who is hosting your wedding?  If your father- in-law is hosting, this would be the wording:

Mr. John Groomsfather

requests the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of

Miss (Ms.) Bride's Full Name

to his son

Groom's First Middle

Saturday, The fourth of November

two thousand seventeen

at six o'clock

Venue Name

123 Maple Street

Anytown, Iowa

If you and your FI are hosting your own wedding:

The pleasure of your company is requested

at the marriage of

Bride's Full Name

and

Groom's Full Name

(etc.)

It is not proper for the bride and groom to directly invite guests to


their own wedding, which is in their honor.  This is why the passive voice is used in this case.

If you wish to say that both your families are hosting (which does not sound like the case in your situation):

Together with their families

Bride's Full Name

and

Groom's Full Name

request the pleasure of your company

as they are united in marriage

(etc.)

The ampersand "&" should not be used on a wedding invitation unless it is a part of the artistic design.  I don't see that here.
I would word the Rsvp like this:

Rsvp. by October 15, 2017

email: bride@anything.com

                                   telephone: (555) 123-4567

You are leaving yourself open to people adding extra guests by your current wording.

If this is your FI's real name, there should be a comma after his name, and before Jr.  Technically, "junior" should be spelled out, but that is not always done these days.

I apologize for the crazy spacing.  I think The Knot has lost its mind tonight, and I can't seem to get it to cooperate.

[Deleted User]

prettypixelz said:

I'm a bride on a budget, so I included RSVP information on the back of the invitation rather than on separate cards. I really liked this template, so I just went with it how it is, but I'm wondering if it looks too empty? Is the wording okay? My fiancee's dad paid for the venue, but pretty much all the rest is paid for by us, so I wasn't too sure what to say in the first line.

I agree with CMGr about "celebration of their marriage".  You should be inviting them to your Wedding.  Personally, I don't like inviting the idea of inviting people to my marriage either.  My Marriage is between me and my groom, it's everything that happens AFTER my wedding.  My Wedding is where we say the vows and get married, you can come to that.

prettypixelz

Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOO much for the suggestions, ladies! I think I got a solid idea of the wording I want/need now. Seriously, you're the best.

sparklepants41

Agree with PPs on the wording. As a graphic designer, I do not have a problem with your ampersand - I say leave it in; it looks great!