Reception Ideas

Skipping grand entrance, first dance and toasts. Will that leave an awkward gap of time?

I am skipping the grand entrance, first dance, father daughter/groom/mom dance, and toasts. Not into it. 

However I had been advise that I need to "entertain" my guests and that if I don't do the dances people will not feel encouraged to join the dance floor. Both reasons I don;t agree with. 

I looked into a sample reception schedule and really it leaves 30 minutes of no "entertainment" besides the DJ playing background music. if I skipped what I wanted to.  Has anyone attended a wedding like this? Was it noticed? 

I just want my wedding day to feel like  a seated dinner and party. 

Re: Skipping grand entrance, first dance and toasts. Will that leave an awkward gap of time?

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited May 17






    I am skipping the grand entrance, first dance, father daughter/groom/mom dance, and toasts. Not into it. 

    However I had been advise that I need to "entertain" my guests and that if I don't do the dances people will not feel encouraged to join the dance floor. Both reasons I don;t agree with. 

    I looked into a sample reception schedule and really it leaves 30 minutes of no "entertainment" besides the DJ playing background music. if I skipped what I wanted to.  Has anyone attended a wedding like this? Was it noticed? 

    I just want my wedding day to feel like  a seated dinner and party. 






    No, you do not need to entertain your guests.  Dancing and DJs are not required at all at wedding receptions.  If you don't want to dance, why waste the money?  If your guests see that there is no DJ or band, they will get the idea.  None of the traditions you describe are required.  I didn't do any of them at my own wedding.

    It IS important that you greet each guest personally and thank them for coming to your wedding ceremony!  This can be done at a reception line, or individually at their tables.  It is also important that you offer them food and drink, and you are planning to do that.  Fire the DJ and enjoy a quiet, dignified reception.
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    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueensernursej
  • The toasts are usually done during dinner, so not having them won't leave a gap. You and your new groom may want to still give a short "thank you" to all of your guests, even if no one else gives a toast.

    We didn't do a grand entrance in the traditional sense, we just entered there reception after everyone had been seated (just H & I) and the DJ said something like "welcome Mr. & Mrs. Lastname" and then we walked to our table, said our thank you & started eating. I don't think a grand entrance is necessary at all. 

    Lastly, the first dance does kind of "open up" the dance floor, but if you don't want to do one you could play a song everyone can dance to. You two could start dancing so you might be by yourself a couple seconds, and then have the DJ ask everyone to join in. We did kind of a similar thing. My dad & I did the father daughter dance last (of the spotlight dances), and our song segued into a Jimmy Buffett song my whole family and most of our friends know. The dance floor was packed from then on out.

    You can also skip the bouquet & garter toss and any games DJs suggest during dancing. We skipped the cake cutting and found out no one knew when to eat dessert so we had the DJ make an announcement about that. (Just something like "hey guys there is dessert and it is awesome so go get some.")
    charlotte989875InLoveInQueensOurWildKingdomSP29
  • FI isn't a big dancer so what we've planned is to have a 'fist dance' but told our wedding party to wait like 10-15 seconds before coming onto the dance floor. That way it will start the dance floor but we don't have to be the centre of that kind of attention.

    I've also been to a Canadian/Australian wedding where they started with a real Aussie classic - that has dance moves and you learn all the words at school. We'd been given sheets with the words before had and every Aussie jumped up to sing and dance to it. It was really lovely. So maybe something that's a real crowd-pleaser could help with that.

    Or a mix or both - do you have a friend who's often a dance floor starter at parties? Maybe you could ask them to help you out. At a certain time when the DJ opens with the dance floor, you could nod at the friend to go start dancing.

    I think nowadays people don't necessarily expect all the 'traditional' things. But they just need some cue's on when they can do things like dance, eat cake and leave. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • I don't think you need these things, but if they're common/expected in your crowd, it may be confusing for people ("can we dance yet?"  "Should we wait for the toasts?" "If they don't cut the cake, when can we leave?").

    Your DJ should function as more of an emcee if your wedding is omitting most of the things your crowd may expect. S/he can make announcements about being seated because dinner will be served, that the dance floor is open (maybe ask some friends to head out there when the announcement is made), that you'll be cutting the cake, etc. 

    You could do "entertainment light":
    - be introduced as newlyweds without the dancing and fanfare that usually goes with it. So it's basically just "welcome the newlyweds to the party!"
    - if you do a first dance, have your WP/friends/family join you on the floor after a minute or so (cued by your DJ). 
    - if you cut the cake, just announce you're going to cut it and do it - no cake smash or fanfare

    That would give your party a little bit of structure/entertainment but have you in the spotlight all of 5-10 minutes total. 
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    OurWildKingdomahoywedding
  • ernursejernursej
    Tenth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    You don't have to do any of those things. Agree with the above suggestions especially the one to have no dancing. If you won't get any enjoyment, why have it? We had an evening wedding/dinner reception and didn't have any dancing. We had lots of compliments that our wedding was just like a relaxing evening out with friends at a favourite restaurant. Dancing isn't required. 
    CMGragain
  • marigold40marigold40
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 13
    I agree with the above. At a traditional reception, some people may wonder if it's okay to get on the dance floor or wait for the spotlight dances/bride & groom. If you DO WANT a dance just not the spotlight dances, I recommend having your DJ guide your guests so everyone knows it's okay to dance. Just give him/her a schedule so they know background music during the meal time and what time to start the dance music. You can easily transition from meal to dance. 
    PS: We aren't having toasts, speeches, a dance, or cake cutting.
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