Destination Weddings

Great American Eclipse Weddings?

2»

Re: Great American Eclipse Weddings?

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited June 1
    ugh double post

    Anniversary

    InLoveInQueensahoywedding
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited June 1
    Not ideal, but whatever.  It's only 30 people. The bride is from a a small town, in a low populated state.  That alone comes with it's own set if challenges.

    That said, I'm not a fan of your time line.     IDK, your wedding feels discombobulated.  Wake up early, drive an hour, eat pancakes (which I can't eat anyway).  Stand around for a while.   Start the ceremony, watch the eclipse, go back to the ceremony.    

     Weird in my opinion.   Both your wedding and the eclipse will be exciting to witness.  I think it's cool celebrating them on the same day.  Especially in a location where it can be seen the best.  I'm not sure I like witnessing them at the exact same time.  I would rather one event to be over before the second begins.     Maybe it's me, but after the ecipse is over I would rather be talking about it with family/friends, than going back to a ceremony.  Even if it's only for a few minutes.    


    I actually do remember the last total eclipse.  I was too far south, but watched it on TV at school.  It was pretty cool.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • All I will say is "wow."  First day on this site. It's been an eye-opener.




  • You mean you get to experience darkness? Wow, it's not like that happens every 12 hours or so on Earth. 

    Look, I think it's fine to have an eclipse wedding. What's not fine is making guests get up at 6:30, spend over an hour in traffic and sit around for a 11:30 am wedding. 

    Find a venue along the 70 mile path where everyone can stay, and have your wedding there. No one is saying not to have an eclipse wedding. We are saying be more thoughtful and respectful of your guests' time. I'm a morning person, and viewed several total eclipse- even hiked in to see some. I think this is a bit much. 

    Don't punish your guests for the lack of foresight on your end. If anything, you should be driving an hour to go to your guests not making them come to you.  It's just way too early to ask people to be up for a nearly midday eclipse. Especially because it was preventable but you didn't book in time. 

    Anybody else have Bonnie Tyler stuck in their head?


    A destination wedding isn't for everyone. No matter where you go, you are inviting your friends and family to spend a weekend (or more) vacationing at a location you choose for them. All you can do is invite and then make sure the trip is as easy for them as possible. Feed them. Arrange hotels and transportation and some entertainment. Take good pics!

    The funny thing is that our friends would all be hanging out at the family farm with us, wedding or not. When we first started talking about traveling to see the eclipse, our friends wanted to go, too. Then we thought, wouldn't that make a memorable wedding?! So, I'm not at all concerned that they will be bored. They have all heard me talk about the bucolic family farm with its lovely stream and roaming pigs and moose. 

    I am curious about the total solar eclipses--path of totality-- you've experienced. The last one in the continental US was in 1979 in the Pacific Northwest. Maybe it was the 1991 Hawaiian eclipse. Maybe you live in another country, where, it is also unlikely that you would have been casually in the path of totality for more than one in your lifetime. And, you don't seem to be interested enough in a total eclipse to plan a vacation around it. I could be wrong but, you kinda don't seem to be enamored by the whole thing. 

    My purpose for posting here, and, if you read my original post you will see this, was to find other couples planning August 21st eclipse nuptials. Particularly of the destination type. If you are planning such a wedding, I am interested in what's going on in your area that is posing challenges (challenges that you are totally up for like we are). Perhaps you have found a resource that I am not aware of (I'd love some sort of up to date traffic advisory). I'm happy to share what I have researched (I spent an hour on the phone with the founder of Eclipse2017 and he totally helped me plan the ceremony!!)

    Maybe other eclipse wedding planners are doing fun things I haven't thought of. I also like sharing my ideas (to go snack bags with a bag of Sun Chips, a Moonpie, and a pack of Eclipse gum, anyone?)

    I'm not here to see IF what I am planning is a good idea or if I think our guests will hate it. They are all on board. They are not going to be bored. They are not going to hate it. We know these people. They are our best friends.

    With that out of the way, let's have a conversation about that.

  • lyndausvi said:

    Not ideal, but whatever.  It's only 30 people. The bride is from a a small town, in a low populated state.  That alone comes with it's own set if challenges.

    That said, I'm not a fan of your time line.     IDK, your wedding feels discombobulated.  Wake up early, drive an hour, eat pancakes (which I can't eat anyway).  Stand around for a while.   Start the ceremony, watch the eclipse, go back to the ceremony.    

     Weird in my opinion.   Both your wedding and the eclipse will be exciting to witness.  I think it's cool celebrating them on the same day.  Especially in a location where it can be seen the best.  I'm not sure I like witnessing them at the exact same time.  I would rather one event to be over before the second begins.     Maybe it's me, but after the ecipse is over I would rather be talking about it with family/friends, than going back to a ceremony.  Even if it's only for a few minutes.    


    I actually do remember the last total eclipse.  I was too far south, but watched it on TV at school.  It was pretty cool.
     
    I don't know why this is posting in your quote but here goes:

    On paper it may seem discombobulated but it is all happening in a contained space. I wish I had a nice photo of the whole area but I have bits and pieces. Imagine a 2 acre park. This is basically the space we will use. Actually, more like an acre. The rest is the stream, outskirts of the property, and my brother's house an another 2 acres where the pancakes will be served.

    The two seated spaces are in the shelter and out in the field. Steps from each other. The ceremony seating in the field will face guests toward the optimum eclipse progression direction. There will be some eclipse watching before they are seated as well as when the ceremony starts. I don't mind the guests keeping their glasses on and watching us while also watching the eclipse. At least it won't be there cell phones! (reception there is crap)

    The ceremony pauses to experience the total eclipse--1 minute, 57 seconds. No one moves. Everyone stays where they are unless they want to walk around and take some pictures. Once the sun breaks through and darkness disappears, the oficiant will pronounce us married, we kiss and the ceremony is over. 

    Then pictures for 20-30 minutes and then lunch. 

    And, planning a wedding in a small town, while not living there, posed some challenges. Not a lot of catering options (none, really, but the local restaurant is catering). Bringing in a photographer and musician from a neighboring town 60 miles away. But, I'm pretty good at planning events so I made it work. It's all nailed down and all I have to do is make sure things are confirmed and paid on schedule. Trouble shoot as needed. 

  • edited June 3
  • edited June 3
  • edited June 3
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member












    I don't know what you mean by "be like this?" She has taken her guests comfort into account-hence the pancake breakfast and the attempt to avoid a traffic jam. Not sure what you mean by if they weren't invited to the wedding they could get up when they want? By that logic, I could go to a matinee instead of an afternoon wedding. She has planned for her guests-they can choose to go or not. If my family member or friend prioritized sleeping in over attending my wedding, that would be okay by me.






    There is no reason why they have to get up early, though, other than OP has planned the shuttle early. The wedding itself is not until the late morning. If she were truly planning for her guests, she could make a later shuttle happen. The eclipse is not actually part of her wedding, and so people who only care about the wedding could come without having to wait around for hours.

    By your logic, anyone could plan anything obnoxious and it would always be the guests' choice to decline, but that doesn't help those who feel particularly obligated to come. Why make things difficult for the people you supposedly care about enough to invite to your wedding when the only thing standing in your way is your own selfishness?

    The early shuttle is to avoid traffic. The pancake breakfast is to provide a meal to our guests whom we want to feed as often as possible. Shuttle early. Eat some breakfast. Visit with those friends you never get to see as often as you'd like. 

    I have never thought it was unreasonable or selfish when I have attended 6+ hour wedding days. Drive to the ceremony location. Ceremony lasts an hour. Drive to the reception location (living in LA, this has mostly meant an hour plus between church and reception hall). Cocktail hour. Dinner. Toasts. Cake cutting. All the first dances. dancing till 11 or midnight. Sending off the couple. Heading home. This is just front loaded in the morning instead of a late night out. 


    I live in LA. The only times I have driven an hour between two locations are when a couple prioritized their vision over their guests' comfort. Their are plenty of options in/around LA that don't require an hour's drive between them. Don't try to justify it by generalizing. 


    image
    InLoveInQueens
  • edited June 3
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member




    levioosa said:


























    I don't know what you mean by "be like this?" She has taken her guests comfort into account-hence the pancake breakfast and the attempt to avoid a traffic jam. Not sure what you mean by if they weren't invited to the wedding they could get up when they want? By that logic, I could go to a matinee instead of an afternoon wedding. She has planned for her guests-they can choose to go or not. If my family member or friend prioritized sleeping in over attending my wedding, that would be okay by me.










    There is no reason why they have to get up early, though, other than OP has planned the shuttle early. The wedding itself is not until the late morning. If she were truly planning for her guests, she could make a later shuttle happen. The eclipse is not actually part of her wedding, and so people who only care about the wedding could come without having to wait around for hours.

    By your logic, anyone could plan anything obnoxious and it would always be the guests' choice to decline, but that doesn't help those who feel particularly obligated to come. Why make things difficult for the people you supposedly care about enough to invite to your wedding when the only thing standing in your way is your own selfishness?

    The early shuttle is to avoid traffic. The pancake breakfast is to provide a meal to our guests whom we want to feed as often as possible. Shuttle early. Eat some breakfast. Visit with those friends you never get to see as often as you'd like. 

    I have never thought it was unreasonable or selfish when I have attended 6+ hour wedding days. Drive to the ceremony location. Ceremony lasts an hour. Drive to the reception location (living in LA, this has mostly meant an hour plus between church and reception hall). Cocktail hour. Dinner. Toasts. Cake cutting. All the first dances. dancing till 11 or midnight. Sending off the couple. Heading home. This is just front loaded in the morning instead of a late night out. 






    I live in LA. The only times I have driven an hour between two locations are when a couple prioritized their vision over their guests' comfort. Their are plenty of options in/around LA that don't require an hour's drive between them. Don't try to justify it by generalizing. 




    I can send you the invites for all three of the weddings that involved this. Maybe I run in circles where people don't consider this inappropriate to ask of a friend. Do I like staying out late dancing on a Saturday night? Not really but I'll do it to celebrate with friends. Am I going to turn down my best friend's destination wedding because it will cause me some discomfort? Wouldn't dream of it. I had no idea I was such a good friend to sacrifice my discomfort for my friends' visions of their weddings. 




    Oh please. 

    Why is it such a hard hard concept to understand? Once you invite guests, you should take their comfort into account, ESPECIALLY if there was travel involved, like for a destination wedding. I attended my bff's wedding out of state, and there were a lot of things that were uncomfortable that could have been easily avoided. It was frustrating. I spent money, time, etc on traveling and basic things like seats were not taken care of. That's unacceptable. Maybe you have rude friends. Maybe you're cool with being treated in rude ways. But don't try to say everyone should be cool with it, or that people are bad friends if they expect certain basic treatments as guests. 

    No one should have to "sacrifice discomfort" (sacrifice comfort) as a guest. That's just ridiculous. If you expect your guests to suck up discomfort for your wedding vision, you're being a bridezilla and a terrible host. It's not hard to host well. It's not hard to treat your guests like you are honored they could witness your union. 


    image
    charlotte989875InLoveInQueensgeebee908
  • edited June 3
  • I certainly don't think I will agree with every post. I think you missed my point. It is the manner in which some people choose to express themselves. Not everyone-just a few people. It is kind of comical really. Talking about etiquette/class when one is unable to express her opinion in an appropriate manner. Some people on her are rude and judgmental. I'll simply ignore their "advice" and separate the wheat from the chaff. This isn't even about me. I posted one thing today, and the responders were quite nice, helpful, and appropriate. I just felt badly for this poor FB who for some reason is being spoken to like she is a selfish moron.
    [Deleted User]
  • Ha ha. I'll give you a pass since you are on a family farm and actually have a barn. I've been to so many "rustic" barn weddings with mason jars, I guess I need a break! I do LOVE the eclipse part, because it so unique and obviously really a reflection of you and FH!
    [Deleted User]
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    If you think someone is being a zilla for expecting a seat for every butt, no gap, refreshments appropriate to time of day, and inclement weather plans, then I feel so sorry for your guests.  It's not asking for the world to be hosted well. I don't need a full service plated meal. I do need basic amenities.  But you obviously have missed the point here.  


    image
    ahoyweddingHeffalumpInLoveInQueens
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited June 2
    The ceremony pauses to experience the total eclipse--1 minute, 57 seconds. No one moves. Everyone stays where they are unless they want to walk around and take some pictures. Once the sun breaks through and darkness disappears, the oficiant will pronounce us married, we kiss and the ceremony is over.



    But that is what is weird to me.   Even if it's just 1 minute and 57 seconds.  It's odd.  It's like. hey bring me out super early for pancakes.  Oh, here is an astronomy lesson.  Oh wait, let's throw in a part of a wedding ceremony.  Oh, we are back to the astronomy.  And now, we are back to the wedding.   

    As I said, I'm like the idea of witness both on the same day, even close to gather.  I'm not a fan witnessing everything altogether.     Then again, I'm not very spiritual.   So I wouldn't appreciate the pause in the ceremony to witness the eclipse.   






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    ahoyweddingInLoveInQueenssouthernbelle0915
  • I have to say I really don't see any problem with your plans. I like the idea to avoid the traffic and have a pancake breakfast, the eclipse part isn't really my thing but I'm sure it will be cool. 
    [Deleted User]knottie72d6b636c9389057
  • I'm going to close this thread. Somehow it has become about criticizing my wedding concept. I came here to hear from other people who are also planning (or going to) an eclipse wedding. In many ways, it really is a somewhat typical destination wedding and we've made all the arrangements for our guests to be fed, sheltered, and taken care of.

    Some people posting here don't see the point of an eclipse wedding, and that is fine. I am the one planning an eclipse wedding. Our guests are the ones who will be attending. When we started down this road last year and have had questions about the hows and whys, I have asked my two maids who are great resources. Eclipse logistics advice from an astronomist friend and an eclipse expert. I'm not here asking how to do it or if I am doing it right. We are two months out and I've got all of that figured out. Event planning is part of what I do for a living and I am very confident in what we have set. 

    I just wanted to hear from people who are taking on the challenges of our very unique wedding concept. Things like, how is your town planning for this once in a lifetime event? Are you having a telescope and what about purchasing a second one? What are you doing for pictures during totality? Snapping away or enjoying the moment? Are you submitting to the archives and what will you submit? The posters here cannot contribute to this conversation so there is not reason to keep the thread open.

    Some of you have been very nasty (and, I bristled in some of my responses). I hope you don't approach every Knot discussion this way. It really felt like trolling and that's not what planning a wedding should be about. Like Knottie72...said, for people who are so particular about etiquette, expressing one's opinion with tact doesn't necessarily seem to be as important. We are all brides here. Getting married and planning a wedding is stressful enough. We can be a little kinder to each other, even when expressing an opinion, particularly an unsolicited one.  

    Peace and love!
  • justsiejustsie
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    I'd also like to hear about a backup plan for poor weather (too hot, too cold, raining, etc). This whole ceremony revolves around an eclipse- so what happens if there is a flash flood that day? Are the guests still shuttling in very early? Is there an indoor area that can accommodate all of your guests comfortably? 
    image
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member


    I don't think the eclipse wedding is bad. Nor do I think her hosting is bad.  I just think its a way too early of a start to ask of people and maybe she should investigate more options so they don't have to be up at 6:30 on a Saturday.

    And to answer OP's question, no, I'm not American. I saw one in South Africa like 15 years ago, and one in Spain around 10 years ago.

    If you are super into eclipses, which it sounds like you are, go for it--but you need to recognise you are asking a lot of people to be on a bus at 8 am for a midday wedding. 


    I agree and I'd probably groan at having to be up that early, but I'd probably rather be up at 6:30 than stuck in traffic for hours.
    knottie72d6b636c9389057
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member






    I don't think the eclipse wedding is bad. Nor do I think her hosting is bad.  I just think its a way too early of a start to ask of people and maybe she should investigate more options so they don't have to be up at 6:30 on a Saturday.

    And to answer OP's question, no, I'm not American. I saw one in South Africa like 15 years ago, and one in Spain around 10 years ago.

    If you are super into eclipses, which it sounds like you are, go for it--but you need to recognise you are asking a lot of people to be on a bus at 8 am for a midday wedding. 




    I agree and I'd probably groan at having to be up that early, but I'd probably rather be up at 6:30 than stuck in traffic for hours.


    Which is another thing. Transportation should not take an hour. I mean, eclipses are cool, but once you realized you didn't plan your wedding far enough in advance for people to be able to stay near the wedding location, you scrap that part of your vision, IMO. I get that it's a small wedding and there's a little wiggle room with that, but this just seems like a gimmick to make their wedding "unique."

    Anniversary

    LondonLisaInLoveInQueenslevioosa
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    I love the ideal of the wedding on the day of the eclipse.  Especially since 1) it's important to the couple and 2) it's actually in the bride's home town.   That is cool.  The traffic, hotels far away, etc.  Doesn't bother me.  I live in a small mountain town.   I get the challenges.

    I'm  just not a fan of the timeline.  Mostly because I'm not sure I would be able to be engaged at either event.    While watching the ceremony I would feel bad looking up for the the eclipse to happen and not paying attention to the ceremony.  Which I would totally do.    Then during the pause I would want to get up, talk to the expert, maybe look in the telescope, take pictures.  Whatever.  Which would seem inappropriate because it's during the ceremony.   Then 2 minutes later I would have to sit down for the end of the ceremony.

    Now I would think it's cool to be engage with the ceremony.  Then during the reception (even if its only 10 minutes or so after the ceremony) to be able to be now fully engaged in the eclipse, talk to the expert, witness the eclipse, talk with others. Take pictures.  Whatever.    

     Having to go back to the end of the ceremony is what is throwing me off.  Nothing worse than thinking something is done, only to find out the speaker continues to talk.  

    LOL - Maybe it's just me.  








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    DrillSergeantCatmissfrodoInLoveInQueenscupcait927
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member

    lyndausvi said:

    I love the ideal of the wedding on the day of the eclipse.  Especially since 1) it's important to the couple and 2) it's actually in the bride's home town.   That is cool.  The traffic, hotels far away, etc.  Doesn't bother me.  I live in a small mountain town.   I get the challenges.

    I'm  just not a fan of the timeline.  Mostly because I'm not sure I would be able to be engaged at either event.    While watching the ceremony I would feel bad looking up for the the eclipse to happen and not paying attention to the ceremony.  Which I would totally do.    Then during the pause I would want to get up, talk to the expert, maybe look in the telescope, take pictures.  Whatever.  Which would seem inappropriate because it's during the ceremony.   Then 2 minutes later I would have to sit down for the end of the ceremony.

    Now I would think it's cool to be engage with the ceremony.  Then during the reception (even if its only 10 minutes or so after the ceremony) to be able to be now fully engaged in the eclipse, talk to the expert, witness the eclipse, talk with others. Take pictures.  Whatever.    

     Having to go back to the end of the ceremony is what is throwing me off.  Nothing worse than thinking something is done, only to find out the speaker continues to talk.  

    LOL - Maybe it's just me.  




    Nah, this is also fair. The eclipse is not really part of the wedding. Having it in the middle of the ceremony doesn't make them more married. If you're going to have a dual event like this, and make everyone come out there early, then have the ceremony earlier and then just enjoy the eclipse as a separate thing.

    Anniversary

    lyndausvimissfrodogeebee908CMGragain
  • Came for the DD, stayed to say. I've seen two solar eclipses. Wouldn't stop a wedding for one. Got to miss school for both of them. 

    I'm up at 5am every morning and I wouldn't go out to a wedding that early. That being said, this is a very know your crowd wedding and if everyone is not 100% on board, it's not worth the hassle.
    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueens
2»
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards