photos as footers

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629

Drillsergeant: Apologies, I thought my first post was the one on charity gifts, but I guess that was the second. Yes, I could see that some people hated them, but I could also see that others didn't. I wasn't trying to debate it, just to talk with the group that did like them. But that wasn't possible when some people hate them so much.

As far as settings, I can't adjust them because the Knot isn't working right. Does it normally have login problems?

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629

And what does the abbreviation "DD" stand for in your post?

DrillSergeantCat

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629 said:

Drillsergeant: Apologies, I thought my first post was the one on charity gifts, but I guess that was the second. Yes, I could see that some people hated them, but I could also see that others didn't. I wasn't trying to debate it, just to talk with the group that did like them. But that wasn't possible when some people hate them so much.

As far as settings, I can't adjust them because the Knot isn't working right. Does it normally have login problems?

You have to look at these boards as a group of people sitting in the same room, talking. You know that a topic is controversial, but bring it up anyway. You can't expect the people sitting next to you to just sit quietly while you commit a faux pas because you were only talking to the people who'd agree with you. See how in that context what happened wasn't "hijacking"?

If you're logged in and able to post, you can change your settings. 

DrillSergeantCat

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629 said:

And what does the abbreviation "DD" stand for in your post?

Dirty Delete. It's when a poster edits their OP and title to delete everything. 

Please use the quote button (if you're going to stay) so it's easier for everyone to know to whom and to what you're referring.

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629

My logins only last a few seconds so I won't risk trying to change the settings right now. And I'm editing this because it got posted before I finished it.

Is it your opinion that no one should bring up a controversial topic ever?  Maybe that's an unspoken rule of this board.  And yeah, I do think people should allow someone to talk about something they disagree with.  I have friends with different politics and different religions than me, and I don't constantly jump in and say I think their ideas or beliefs are wrong if they're discussing those near me. 

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629

DrillSergeantCat said:

Dirty Delete. It's when a poster edits their OP and title to delete everything. 

What's "dirty" about it? The forum should have that option. Since it doesn't, deleting the post and title is the best they could do and is enough to indicate that they prefer not to continue.

DrillSergeantCat

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629 said:

My logins only last a few seconds so I won't risk trying to change the settings right now. And I'm editing this because it got posted before I finished it.

Is it your opinion that no one should bring up a controversial topic ever?  Maybe that's an unspoken rule of this board.  And yeah, I do think people should allow someone to talk about something they disagree with.  I have friends with different politics and different religions than me, and I don't constantly jump in and say I think their ideas or beliefs are wrong if they're discussing those near me. 

You said repeatedly "I'm not talking to you. I'm only talking to the people who are considering this." 

It's dirty because people have taken the time to respond to you.

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629

DrillSergeantCat said:

You said repeatedly "I'm not talking to you. I'm only talking to the people who are considering this." 

It's dirty because people have taken the time to respond to you.

Right.  That's reasonable.  If my best friend is talking about God and her faith, I don't jump in every few seconds saying "hey, just so you know, there is no God."  She isn't talking to me (since my beliefs differ from hers), but I don't try to prevent her from discussing her faith.  I think that's reasonable.  She wouldn't be able to have a conversation if she were constantly having to defend her beliefs.  She'd have to keep saying she wasn't talking to me.

Interesting that people would find that "dirty."  Most conversations aren't enshrined forever and I don't understand the need to immortalize them.

kwiksilver

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629 said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

You said repeatedly "I'm not talking to you. I'm only talking to the people who are considering this." 

It's dirty because people have taken the time to respond to you.

Right.  That's reasonable.  If my best friend is talking about God and her faith, I don't jump in every few seconds saying "hey, just so you know, there is no God."  She isn't talking to me (since my beliefs differ from hers), but I don't try to prevent her from discussing her faith.  I think that's reasonable.  She wouldn't be able to have a conversation if she were constantly having to defend her beliefs.  She'd have to keep saying she wasn't talking to me.

Interesting that people would find that "dirty."  Most conversations aren't enshrined forever and I don't understand the need to immortalize them.

Many brides read through older posts for advice or to see what the previous consensus was on similar topics. If everyone who posted something "controversial" was able to delete their posts, it wouldn't be available to help lurkers. 

Honestly if you're so against this community, and how we do things, it makes sense that you're not planning to stick around. 

DrillSergeantCat

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629 said:

Right.  That's reasonable.  If my best friend is talking about God and her faith, I don't jump in every few seconds saying "hey, just so you know, there is no God."  She isn't talking to me (since my beliefs differ from hers), but I don't try to prevent her from discussing her faith.  I think that's reasonable.  She wouldn't be able to have a conversation if she were constantly having to defend her beliefs.  She'd have to keep saying she wasn't talking to me.

Interesting that people would find that "dirty."  Most conversations aren't enshrined forever and I don't understand the need to immortalize them.

And no matter what you think, nobody was trying to prevent you from speaking, either. People just gave opposing opinions. 

It's pretty common in online forums that it's considered "dirty" or rude to attempt to delete a post. 

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629

kwiksilver said:

 Honestly if you're so against this community, and how we do things, it makes sense that you're not planning to stick around. 

Yes, it's clear I don't belong here. I do think this community is unwelcoming. I get that I've said controversial things, but I've made an effort to be civil. Many responses to me have been filled with heavy sarcasm or interspersed with "eye roll," etc. Even when I tried to talk on a totally noncontroversial topic, I was called a "drama queen" for being upset. And that was in a forum called "wedding woes" where you'd think a little drama would be the norm. 

I can't walk on eggshells enough to keep people happy here, so yeah, I don't belong. I hope you will all be a little more tolerant of the next newcomer.

LondonLisa

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629 said:

My logins only last a few seconds so I won't risk trying to change the settings right now. And I'm editing this because it got posted before I finished it.

Is it your opinion that no one should bring up a controversial topic ever?  Maybe that's an unspoken rule of this board.  And yeah, I do think people should allow someone to talk about something they disagree with.  I have friends with different politics and different religions than me, and I don't constantly jump in and say I think their ideas or beliefs are wrong if they're discussing those near me. 

It just seems like you have a lot of grievances to air about how things are done on these boards. Rather than either a.) recognising that there is lively debate and changing your settings or b.) leaving this forums, you would rather have everyone else change and cater to your preferences. 

There are plenty of people on here that I disagree with over some things and agree with them on others. Just recently @CMGragain @kwiksilver and @DrillSergeantCat and I disagreed on various topics- it doesn't mean that I wholly disagree with them on everything. That is why it is a debate. Sometimes we're snarky, but it doesn't mean I don't value their opinions. Sometimes we disagree, sometimes we don't. That is what you get when you ask a community for their opinions. It sounds like you want the rule to be 'validation or shut up'

I don't know if you see yourself as Martin Luther nailing your preferences to the board walls or what, but all I can say is if you don't like these boards,  don't like the style of debate, find signatures frustrating, dislike our use of quotes, and have already said you are leaving, why are you still here?

flantastic

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629 said:

kwiksilver said:

 Honestly if you're so against this community, and how we do things, it makes sense that you're not planning to stick around. 

Yes, it's clear I don't belong here. I do think this community is unwelcoming. I get that I've said controversial things, but I've made an effort to be civil. Many responses to me have been filled with heavy sarcasm or interspersed with "eye roll," etc. Even when I tried to talk on a totally noncontroversial topic, I was called a "drama queen" for being upset. And that was in a forum called "wedding woes" where you'd think a little drama would be the norm. 

I can't walk on eggshells enough to keep people happy here, so yeah, I don't belong. I hope you will all be a little more tolerant of the next newcomer.

So has everyone else. The tone of every post in all of your threads is roughly equivalent to the tone of your posts. People are discussing opinions and providing actual established etiquette. No one will or does hate you for saying things that are controversial, but they also won't agree or ignore it, but rather provide an opposing opinion (or fact). That is how discussion works. That is what a forum is for. You can't control a conversation once you start it, so I'm unsure why you're trying.

ETA - You may not think of yourself as a "drama queen," but isn't it helpful to know that some people think you're overreacting? I would find that helpful feedback. If you stop taking everything so personally, you'd do better here. If you're not prepared to do that, then good luck to you.

kwiksilver

LondonLisa said:

knottiec9d9a8992a69c629 said:

My logins only last a few seconds so I won't risk trying to change the settings right now. And I'm editing this because it got posted before I finished it.

Is it your opinion that no one should bring up a controversial topic ever?  Maybe that's an unspoken rule of this board.  And yeah, I do think people should allow someone to talk about something they disagree with.  I have friends with different politics and different religions than me, and I don't constantly jump in and say I think their ideas or beliefs are wrong if they're discussing those near me. 

There are plenty of people on here that I disagree with over some things and agree with them on others. Just recently @CMGragain @kwiksilver and @DrillSergeantCat and I disagreed on various topics- it doesn't mean that I wholly disagree with them on everything. That is why it is a debate. Sometimes we're snarky, but it doesn't mean I don't value their opinions. Sometimes we disagree, sometimes we don't. That is what you get when you ask a community for their opinions. It sounds like you want the rule to be 'validation or shut up'

This!  I wish I could "love it" a thousand times. Regular members of the community disagree with each other ALL THE TIME!  And that's ok. Is it sometimes annoying when people don't see things the same way you do?  Of course!  However, that's just life. We basically agree to disagree and move on.  Even people with collective beliefs and interests will not be on the same page about every potential question or post that comes up. I think we still all more or less like and respect each other.  That's why we tend to band together when someone tries to crap all over our community here. 

Listen, I get that it feels hostile. I thought so too at first, but if you learn to accept criticism gracefully, there are lovely people who will support you through stress and bad times. They will give you sound advice and say things you probably don't want to hear, but maybe need to.  I've had a lot of rough spots in wedding planning and for the most part, everyone has been quite kind.

So, leave if you wish, or stay.  Learn how things work and don't just complain about them.  You will get much better results that way. 

lyndausvi

I feel like the op likes to live in a echo chamber.     That is what gets people in trouble.  

Being able to read/listen to opposing views is how most people grow in the world.  We might not like everything that is said or even the tone and that is okay.  That doesn't mean you shut everyone with opposing views out.    

Lord knows there is some advice  that I just I roll my eyes over.  There are some users I just kind-of skip over (although I never block anyone).   Other times I have changed my mind on a subject because of comments made by other posters.   Even by some posters that I general do not align with often.   They "showed me the light" so-to-speak.

Debating is good.  It doesn't always change people's minds, but sometimes it does.  

Don't live in an echo chamber. 

MissKittyDanger

Honestly, it bugs me when new people come and bitch about things that those who have been on the boards {not including myself fyi} have been fine about for years.

Debating is different than arguing, and yeh I've seen some arguements on the boards get heated - but on a completely separate chat the same people will be agreeing on something. Or standing up for one another.


The boards are definitely intimidating at times and sure, there will be some growing pains of how people react to things or maybe there's a board you completely don't fit in on - but then you find a place you get along with people and it's a huge difference.

thisismynickname2

I have a very hard time believing TK is worse than political forums. Unless by political forum OP just means another echo chamber that agrees with her views. 

lovesclimbing

charlotte989875 said:

Or use TK on mobile so you don't see any sigs. I do have to say I kind of miss them when I'm on mobile. 

Also who doesn't love gifs. 

Really? I didn't know this. They must have changed some things. I use TK on mobile 99% of the time, and the last time I had the delete sigs button unchecked, they showed up on mobile. That was even more annoying because on mobile, they took up even more screenfuls than they do on a webpage. 

southernbelle0915

kwiksilver said:

Yeah you're probably not going to get any traction on this one.  The only photo I find to be excessively large is CMG's and she's been here a long time and most of us are just used to it now.

I actually find it way easier for people to have them.  I never remember people's names, but I can easily identify them by their "signature" (my favorite one happens to be @southernbelle0915 )

Why thank you! You know it's funny.... when I added this, I did it in October thinking I would change it with the season (it's from Haley's Halloween party). That was like 3 or 4 years ago...lol!

ILoveBeachMusic

southernbelle0915 said:

kwiksilver said:

Yeah you're probably not going to get any traction on this one.  The only photo I find to be excessively large is CMG's and she's been here a long time and most of us are just used to it now.

I actually find it way easier for people to have them.  I never remember people's names, but I can easily identify them by their "signature" (my favorite one happens to be @southernbelle0915 )

Why thank you! You know it's funny.... when I added this, I did it in October thinking I would change it with the season (it's from Haley's Halloween party). That was like 3 or 4 years ago...lol!

If you change it now, I will think a new poster has shown up!

[Deleted User]

I'm also having serious trouble with the avatar and my screenname. Google to the rescue, because the little head only shows "preferences".

MairePoppy

knottie8d911739dd80b635 said:

I'm also having serious trouble with the avatar and my screenname. Google to the rescue, because the little head only shows "preferences".

Hi, Welcome to TK, New Person.

Well, I can tell you how it's supposed to work. Some have success, some don't. Give it a try, to change your Screen name go to  

theknot.com/account/settings/profile

Your account info page should come up. Change your screen name. Make sure you scroll down and click on SAVE.

The little head on the upper right corner of this page is good for adding or changing your signature at the bottom of the page. Click on the head, select preferences, under your screen name, select 'signature.' A dialogue box will open. In the header, choose the pic icon follow the prompt. Don't forget to SAVE.

If none of this stuff works for you, PM @KnotHolly

For future reference, the dates of each post appears under the screen names. This thread was started a year ago and is considered a ZOMBIE. So I'm closing it. Please feel free to start a new thread if you need help if you need assistance.