Destination Weddings

DW in Hawaii

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Re: DW in Hawaii


  • CMGragain said:

    The venue can call it a "Dinner", but if it follows your wedding ceremony and is for your guests, then it is, by definition, a Wedding Reception.  Do restaurants in Hawaii accept reservations TWO YEARS in advance?




    We are actually going to do CA next year. It works better for his family too b/c they live there. I just didn't want to do a wedding here, it's too expensive and the weather can be unpredictable.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited June 8
    This sounds like a much better plan.  You can always go to Hawaii for your honeymoon.  Think about having an indoor ceremony.  Air conditioning solves a lot of weather problems!
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    STARMOON44

  • CMGragain said:

    This sounds like a much better plan.  You can always go to Hawaii for your honeymoon.  Think about having an indoor ceremony.  Air conditioning solves a lot of weather problems!



    We want an outdoor which is why CA is a good place... SoCal. I had wanted to do it on a beach here but we live in the Northeast on the coast and the county a) only allows a certain amount of people with the beach permits and b) if it rains they don't allow a tent. The place we want has an outdoor and indoor space. I think it's a good idea as well. This way too it is only a destination for the east coast & Midwest people, not everyone.
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  • ernursejernursej
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    I would vote for something local (ceremony and then dinner at a favourite restaurant/private room) and then go to Hawaii on your honeymoon. Simple can be so lovely.

  • ernursej said:

    I would vote for something local (ceremony and then dinner at a favourite restaurant/private room) and then go to Hawaii on your honeymoon. Simple can be so lovely.



    We can't afford local. I live in a very affluent area, most expensive area for real estate and weddings (go us!). We get more for our $$ in CA and the permits are less restricting as well as weather better.
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  • SP29SP29
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    edited June 9







    ernursej said:



    I would vote for something local (ceremony and then dinner at a favourite restaurant/private room) and then go to Hawaii on your honeymoon. Simple can be so lovely.







    We can't afford local. I live in a very affluent area, most expensive area for real estate and weddings (go us!). We get more for our $$ in CA and the permits are less restricting as well as weather better.




    This is fine.

    I believe ernursej was referring to keeping your plans in the continental US as you are thinking versus Hawaii. Since half (ish?) of your family lives in CA, and at least one side of the family has to travel regardless, having your wedding in CA is pretty reasonable and simple.
    ernursej
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown
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    I agree that CA is the best compromise option.

    But, I guess I'm confused as to how a small wedding followed by a dinner at a restaurant where you live is that much more expensive than doing it in Hawaii or CA?? Hawaii is NOT cheap at all and a restaurant is a  restaurant no matter where it is. I totally get your concerns for weather and you would have more risk in your "wedding vision" by doing it on the east coast vs CA or Hawaii. Or is there pressure to have a much larger wedding if you got married where you live so you're avoiding it by getting married elsewhere? 

    I'm not knocking your plans at all- just trying to understand the logic in all of this. 

     







    ernursej
  • edited June 9




    I agree that CA is the best compromise option.

    But, I guess I'm confused as to how a small wedding followed by a dinner at a restaurant where you live is that much more expensive than doing it in Hawaii or CA?? Hawaii is NOT cheap at all and a restaurant is a  restaurant no matter where it is. I totally get your concerns for weather and you would have more risk in your "wedding vision" by doing it on the east coast vs CA or Hawaii. Or is there pressure to have a much larger wedding if you got married where you live so you're avoiding it by getting married elsewhere? 

    I'm not knocking your plans at all- just trying to understand the logic in all of this. 





    Look up how much a wedding costs on Long island, lol. We clock in the highest in the nation. BUT we're changing our plans a lil. We were gonna have just a dinner but FI wants a DJ (*groan* I hate DJ's) and we changed the venue we want from a place that only allowed a smaller # to a place that allows a bigger # so FI is wanting a bigger party since he eloped for his first marriage (& his mother has a very long list of people we HAVE to invite).. but we're keeping it @ family only and are thinking it will be about 60 people.

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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    I agree that CA is the best compromise option.

    But, I guess I'm confused as to how a small wedding followed by a dinner at a restaurant where you live is that much more expensive than doing it in Hawaii or CA?? Hawaii is NOT cheap at all and a restaurant is a  restaurant no matter where it is. I totally get your concerns for weather and you would have more risk in your "wedding vision" by doing it on the east coast vs CA or Hawaii. Or is there pressure to have a much larger wedding if you got married where you live so you're avoiding it by getting married elsewhere? 

    I'm not knocking your plans at all- just trying to understand the logic in all of this. 







    Look up how much a wedding costs on Long island, lol. We clock in the highest in the nation. BUT we're changing our plans a lil. We were gonna have just a dinner but FI wants a DJ (*groan* I hate DJ's) and we changed the venue we want from a place that only allowed a smaller # to a place that allows a bigger # so FI is wanting a bigger party since he eloped for his first marriage (& his mother has a very long list of people we HAVE to invite).. but we're keeping it @ family only and are thinking it will be about 60 people.



    Ok, this is not correct. I live in NY, and you have MANY options. I don't for one second believe it's cheaper to have a wedding in CA or Hawaii. Googling the median wedding cost for NY says $30,000. I got married in NY, and I did not spend that much. 

    InLoveInQueenslevioosa
  • edited June 9




















    I agree that CA is the best compromise option.

    But, I guess I'm confused as to how a small wedding followed by a dinner at a restaurant where you live is that much more expensive than doing it in Hawaii or CA?? Hawaii is NOT cheap at all and a restaurant is a  restaurant no matter where it is. I totally get your concerns for weather and you would have more risk in your "wedding vision" by doing it on the east coast vs CA or Hawaii. Or is there pressure to have a much larger wedding if you got married where you live so you're avoiding it by getting married elsewhere? 

    I'm not knocking your plans at all- just trying to understand the logic in all of this. 











    Look up how much a wedding costs on Long island, lol. We clock in the highest in the nation. BUT we're changing our plans a lil. We were gonna have just a dinner but FI wants a DJ (*groan* I hate DJ's) and we changed the venue we want from a place that only allowed a smaller # to a place that allows a bigger # so FI is wanting a bigger party since he eloped for his first marriage (& his mother has a very long list of people we HAVE to invite).. but we're keeping it @ family only and are thinking it will be about 60 people.







    Ok, this is not correct. I live in NY, and you have MANY options. I don't for one second believe it's cheaper to have a wedding in CA or Hawaii. Googling the median wedding cost for NY says $30,000. I got married in NY, and I did not spend that much. 





    My first one was $60k. $30k is definitely not the average cost for a wedding on LI. The average is about $45k. Everything is higher in NY... the sales tax for one.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44
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    edited June 9
    There is no reason dinner for 20 would cost anything more in Long Island versus CA. That's what makes no sense. You aren't setting out to have an average spend wedding so that number is meaningless. 

    I have no problem with CA at all I just think your rationale is strange. 
    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueenslevioosa
  • edited June 9




    There is no reason dinner for 20 would cost anything more in Long Island versus CA. That's what makes no sense. You aren't setting out to have an average spend wedding so that number is meaningless. 

    I have no problem with CA at all I just think your rationale is strange. 





    We're not doing that anymore.

    Yes, we are having more of a traditional wedding now. NY has one of the highest sales tax in the nation (so yes a dinner here would be more $$ than one in CA just by sales tax alone).

    The main reason is b/c the weather is better.

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  • edited June 9
    I'm not keeping super close track...but in a matter of like 2 days, your plans have gone from DW wedding with a handful of people in Hawaii (but maybe eloping, too), to an outdoor wedding in southern California followed by a dinner-only reception, to a traditional (yet smaller) wedding in New York? From summer of 2019 to summer of 2018?

    I'm not sure how your husband thinks you could possibly send invites or block hotels with all this going on. Y'all seem to be putting the cart before the horse a little bit.

    What is your budget? Decide that first. Then talk about basic wants (size, format, city). Voila! Now you have a budget, a guest list and a basic vision. Now you can start looking at venues and booking stuff. Once you have a venue (like booked and finalized for a specific date in a specific city), THEN you start thinking about sending STDs and booking hotel blocks.
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    STARMOON44InLoveInQueenssparklepants41thisismynickname2


  • I'm not keeping super close track...but in a matter of like 2 days, your plans have gone from DW wedding with a handful of people in Hawaii, to an outdoor wedding in southern California followed by a dinner-only reception, to a traditional (yet smaller) wedding in New York? From summer of 2019 to summer of 2018?

    I'm not sure how your husband thinks you could possibly send invites or block hotels with all this going on. Y'all see to be putting the cart before the horse a little bit.

    What is your budget? Decide that first. Then talk about basic wants (size, format, city). Voila! Now you have a budget, a guest list and a basic vision. Now you can start looking at venues and booking stuff. Once you have a venue (like booked and finalized for a specific date in a specific city), THEN you start thinking about sending STDs and booking hotel blocks.



    Wedding is NOT in NY.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    There is no reason dinner for 20 would cost anything more in Long Island versus CA. That's what makes no sense. You aren't setting out to have an average spend wedding so that number is meaningless. 

    I have no problem with CA at all I just think your rationale is strange. 







    We're not doing that anymore.

    Yes, we are having more of a traditional wedding now. NY has one of the highest sales tax in the nation (so yes a dinner here would be more $$ than one in CA just by sales tax alone).

    The main reason is b/c the weather is better.



    What?  The sales tax in CA is virtually identical to NY.  According to Google the sales tax in Long Island is 8.875%.  The state minimum sales tax in CA is 7.5%; virtually all areas are higher than that.  In LA the sales tax is mostly 8.75%, but in some suburbs of LA it goes up to 10%.  How cheap do you think Southern California is, exactly?



    STARMOON44levioosaDrillSergeantCat

  • Viczaesar said:













    There is no reason dinner for 20 would cost anything more in Long Island versus CA. That's what makes no sense. You aren't setting out to have an average spend wedding so that number is meaningless. 

    I have no problem with CA at all I just think your rationale is strange. 









    We're not doing that anymore.

    Yes, we are having more of a traditional wedding now. NY has one of the highest sales tax in the nation (so yes a dinner here would be more $$ than one in CA just by sales tax alone).

    The main reason is b/c the weather is better.





    What?  The sales tax in CA is virtually identical to NY.  According to Google the sales tax in Long Island is 8.875%.  The state minimum sales tax in CA is 7.5%; virtually all areas are higher than that.  In LA the sales tax is mostly 8.75%, but in some suburbs of LA it goes up to 10%.  How cheap do you think Southern California is, exactly?



    If you read above I said the main reason is the weather and also b/c of the permits.
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  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
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    Viczaesar said:


















    There is no reason dinner for 20 would cost anything more in Long Island versus CA. That's what makes no sense. You aren't setting out to have an average spend wedding so that number is meaningless. 

    I have no problem with CA at all I just think your rationale is strange. 











    We're not doing that anymore.

    Yes, we are having more of a traditional wedding now. NY has one of the highest sales tax in the nation (so yes a dinner here would be more $$ than one in CA just by sales tax alone).

    The main reason is b/c the weather is better.







    What?  The sales tax in CA is virtually identical to NY.  According to Google the sales tax in Long Island is 8.875%.  The state minimum sales tax in CA is 7.5%; virtually all areas are higher than that.  In LA the sales tax is mostly 8.75%, but in some suburbs of LA it goes up to 10%.  How cheap do you think Southern California is, exactly?





    If you read above I said the main reason is the weather and also b/c of the permits.


    Okay. That doesn't discredit her post. She didn't say "You definitely need to get married in NY because the main reason for marrying in CA you gave is bogus," she just said, "This statement you made is bogus."

    Anniversary

    InLoveInQueens
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