Etiquette

Hotel Block

edited June 2017 in Etiquette
How can I word the hotel card properly without making people think we’re paying? Situation: want wedding next summer in CA. We live in NY. Family is from NY, MI & CA so the NY & MI people probably will need hotels. I am trying to find a hotel near the place we’re thinking of getting married @. I want to get a block there. I was telling my fiancé this and he said if we get a hotel block his dad's family will think that means we are paying. WE ARE NOT PAYING. How can I word this card so they are 100% sure we’re not paying? I also thought about just not sending those people the card but my fiancé says they would be pissed if there was discounted rate and they weren’t told about it. (Addendum: they are not from America. They live here now but they are not from here. I do not know if this is a cultural thing or what but I know this is not the first wedding they’re attending in America).
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Hotel Block

  • edited June 2017


    banana468 said:














    How can I word the hotel card properly without making people


    think we’re paying? Situation: want wedding next summer in CA. We live in NY.


    Family is from NY, MI & CA so the NY & MI people probably will need hotels. I


    am trying to find a hotel near the place we’re thinking of getting married @. I


    want to get a block there. I was telling my fiancé this and he said if we get a


    hotel block his dad's family will think that means we are paying. WE ARE NOT


    PAYING. How can I word this card so they are 100% sure we’re not paying? I also


    thought about just not sending those people the card but my fiancé says they would


    be pissed if there was discounted rate and they weren’t told about it. (Addendum:


    they are not from America. They live here now but they are not from here. I do


    not know if this is a cultural thing or what but I know this is not the first


    wedding they’re attending in America).












    First, don't find the hotel until you actually book your reception.   The location could change and that could be the difference of finding a different hotel.   

    Other than that, do what @LondonLisa advised.   You can send that information once you send STDs but please don't send STDs to your invited guests until you have a ceremony date and a reception location actually booked. 





    Oh yeah. We're going to start booking prob next month but we know the general area we want to be in so we're looking for hotels around there. Nothing is booked yet just being proactive. But we think we know what venue we want.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    JediElizabethcharlotte989875
  • edited June 2017




    scribe95 said:




    Our card included the discounted rates for the rooms. That makes it clear that it's on them. 









    My fiancé doesn't seem to think so... so I'm unsure here. He thinks that if we list the prices it just says to them it's an FYI & that that means call us to book it @ that price, not them. Having the prices, in his eyes, doesn't say enough to let them know it's on them. So what else can I add another than a point blank "PAY FOR OWN YOUR DAMN HOTEL" lol
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited June 2017


    redoryx said:













    scribe95 said:





    Our card included the discounted rates for the rooms. That makes it clear that it's on them. 











    My fiancé doesn't seem to think so... so I'm unsure here. He thinks that if we list the prices it just says to them it's an FYI & that that means call us to book it @ that price, not them. Having the prices, in his eyes, doesn't say enough to let them know it's on them.






    So what is your FI's solution then? If he's going to keep complaining about something than he needs to provide a solution. 





    Well I think he needs to be blunt with them and tell them "look, we're not paying for it that's on you" but he doesn't want to and I don't want to be the one to tell them. I don't even know half the people.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker





  • redoryx said:

















    scribe95 said:






    Our card included the discounted rates for the rooms. That makes it clear that it's on them. 













    My fiancé doesn't seem to think so... so I'm unsure here. He thinks that if we list the prices it just says to them it's an FYI & that that means call us to book it @ that price, not them. Having the prices, in his eyes, doesn't say enough to let them know it's on them.








    So what is your FI's solution then? If he's going to keep complaining about something than he needs to provide a solution. 







    Well I think he needs to be blunt with them and tell them "look, we're not paying for it that's on you" but he doesn't want to and I don't want to be the one to tell them. I don't even know half the people.


    Then you need to word the card in a way that says it's on them.

    What does your FI propose as a solution here?   Just hope someone gets it?   make you the bad guy?? 
    InLoveInQueens

  • banana468 said:









    redoryx said:





















    scribe95 said:







    Our card included the discounted rates for the rooms. That makes it clear that it's on them. 















    My fiancé doesn't seem to think so... so I'm unsure here. He thinks that if we list the prices it just says to them it's an FYI & that that means call us to book it @ that price, not them. Having the prices, in his eyes, doesn't say enough to let them know it's on them.










    So what is your FI's solution then? If he's going to keep complaining about something than he needs to provide a solution. 









    Well I think he needs to be blunt with them and tell them "look, we're not paying for it that's on you" but he doesn't want to and I don't want to be the one to tell them. I don't even know half the people.




    Then you need to word the card in a way that says it's on them.

    What does your FI propose as a solution here?   Just hope someone gets it?   make you the bad guy?? 



    Yes I need to re-word the card but what's the best way?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I think @LondonLisa has the right idea. The wording lets them know the discounted rate. When they call to make the reservation the hotel will let them know they are paying not you. If they call you to make the reservation, just tell them you aren't handling the reservations and that they need to call the hotel.
    STARMOON44short+sassy[Deleted User]SP29
  • Our hotels didn't let us block stuff until 8 or 9 months before the date of the wedding. Once they did, we negotiated the rates and put on our website (and then on our invite insert) something about "we've negotiated rates at 3 local hotels...here they are...use this link or be sure to mention 'OwningAHome' wedding when booking by phone"

    No one would think you're paying for the hotel if you do that.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    short+sassySP29


  • Good ideas. Maybe I can just say like "Please Call The Hotel Directly To Book"?



    That's good, and also pretty common, I've seen it on a number of inserts. 
  • I think this is definitely a conversation your FI needs to have with his family. He just needs to be upfront "in the US, it's not customary for the bride and groom to pay for hotel rooms. Each guest pays for it on their own." Done. No stress! 
    short+sassythisismynickname2InLoveInQueensjaprincess24
  • Thank you ladies. Yes, he really just needs to be upfront with them and he is clueless about weddings! I'm a pro. I'm planning wedding # 2 now.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker












  • scribe95 said:






    Our card included the discounted rates for the rooms. That makes it clear that it's on them. 













    My fiancé doesn't seem to think so... so I'm unsure here. He thinks that if we list the prices it just says to them it's an FYI & that that means call us to book it @ that price, not them. Having the prices, in his eyes, doesn't say enough to let them know it's on them. So what else can I add another than a point blank "PAY FOR OWN YOUR DAMN HOTEL" lol




    He's just wrong and clueless about this like everything else! If they call you to book you just say no. Problem solved. 


    Seriously. There seems to be a logic problem with this dude. 

    If I were you, OP, I would just be like "ok honey, I have (insert wedding thing here) covered. Now how is that co-worker of yours?" 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    ILoveBeachMusicholyguacamole79MairePoppy
  • On our wedding website, we had the hotel names, the type of rooms in the block (suite/two queen/etc), the address & the price. I wrote something like "To book, click the link below, or call the hotel at xxx-xxx-xxxx and ask for the (our names) block." This isn't rocket science. Also, since it's your FI's family who seem to be most likely to be confused, can he not just straight up tell them "we do not book hotel rooms, you will need to call the hotel of your choice"?
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards