Moms and Maids

Do I have to get bridesmaids gifts if I am paying for hair and makeup?

I am paying for hair and makeup for all the bridesmaids ($120 each), and one of them was just at a wedding where the bride did that in lieu of gifts and everyone was fine with it. 
My mom thinks I absolutely must get them gifts, even if it's a silly cheap gift like a coffee mug or a small wooden box, but I am not into getting a gift for the sake of getting a gift. My MOH thinks I need to get everyone flip flops at the dollar store despite the fact that no one is wearing heels due to the grassy venue and I told them to wear comfortable flats.  I don't think anyone would need/want/wear cheap flip flops if they are wearing comfortable flats. 
A few of them told me that they would not have opted for hair/makeup if I hadn't offered to pay for it and they all want it done, so I feel like this is a nice thing for them. Is it rude to skip the physical gift or should I get them all something anyway?

Re: Do I have to get bridesmaids gifts if I am paying for hair and makeup?

  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Your mom is correct. The hair and makeup is really for you, not for them. Even if it is small, you need to get them something personal (think birthday girl). A bottle of wine for the wino, a gift card to B&N and a box of tea for the book worm, a makeup pallate for the makeup enthusiast, etc. These are supposed to be your nearest and dearest, and they have spent time and money to be in the wedding. 


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    charlotte989875InLoveInQueenssparklepants41adk19
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited June 8
    These ladies have spent money on the dress and taken time out of their busy lives for you.  If you don't buy them each a nice, personal gift, you will look like a cheapskate bride.  The hair and makeup was YOUR idea, so you pay for it.  It isn't too late to cancel that and let the ladies choose their own hair and makeup.
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    InLoveInQueensdowntondiva
  • I agree with everyone else, additional for the BMs that were just going to do their own, you're giving them something they didn't really see the need for. But them gifts that fit their interests/personalities and be thankful you have such great friends standing up with you. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Paying for hair and makeup that you're requiring be done according to your specifications for your wedding is your responsibility. It isn't a gift to your bridesmaids.

    In order to really make them feel appreciated, buy each one a nice gift, tailored to their personal interests as opposed to your own, at a reasonable price within your budget. You don't have to spend a ton of money on them, but to do nothing will make you appear cold and cheap-regardless of how much you're spending on their hair and makeup.
    InLoveInQueens
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    One of my daughter's bridesmaids flatly refused to have her hair and makeup done.  She was a free spirit. and wanted to look like her usual self.  No problem!  We were happy to have her with us at the ceremony!
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  • Just for the record, The hair and makeup is optional. I am not dictating the style or look. The hair accessories I got for them are optional and I don't care if they don't use them. I thought they were cute and matched and I showed them and they thought they were cute. If they decide on the day of the wedding they don't want it in their hair, I don't care. 

    I offered to pay not because I want them all to look a certain way, I thought it was something nice to do for them if they wanted it.  Some people opted out, which is fine with me. I never dictated to them that they had to do it, I asked them if they wanted it if they didn't have to pay for it.

    Also I will get them gifts, then. Thanks for the suggestions. 

    SP29short+sassyknottief16b91b9887217a6
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