His family is HUGE
I'm having a dilemma. Wedding background: my dream weeding would be small- 90ish people... this isn't exactly doable for us but with a VERY pared down guest list we are at 138. Fine. My parents are paying for the whole wedding, his parents are not offering any assistance other than the rehearsal dinner. Cost per person is pricey, $200/plate, my parents are ok with this as the guest list is much smaller than they would normally invite. (their idea of wedding invites, not necessarily mine). So my FI has a HUGE family, both parents are one of 5... large amounts of cousins. Their family guest list is significantly larger than my family's. (example I have 4 aunts and uncles total counting both sides) There was a bit of a discussion over where his cousins could bring their plus ones (whom are not married or engaged) his family felt strongly about including them so we agreed to add them to the list (this added 10 people). Now comes the child issue. Many of these cousins and their plus ones have children (young children- young elementary age). I'm saying no go on extending the invites to their children. I should note my FI does not have relationships with these children as they live in other parts of the country. HOWEVER, my three cousins and their husbands/wives do have children (young teen- college age) who are very present in my and my parents' lives. We do want them at the wedding and will be inviting them. Is this really a black and white tit for tat situation? If my few cousins are allowed to bring their children, must his? It's frustrating but super awkward at the imbalance already. Adding all the children on his side will be a significant cost difference. Thoughts?