Knottie Tech Help

Guests asking for plus ones!! Need advice.

My fiance and I just recently sent out our wedding invitations. Already, we both have had some friends (who are single) ask if they can bring a guest. I'm honestly shocked someone who think to ask this, if the invite was only addressed to them, but people will be people. As much as it put me in an akward position we had to tell them that we'd like to be able to accommodate, but will not know until closer to the wedding and I expressed that we made our guest list with a budget in mind since we are paying per head. It felt funny tell 2 friends of ours this, but I also felt I needed to be clear. 

Anyone else experience this? I really felt it was rude of them to ask, but I got out of my bride (less than two months to go) head, and thought well maybe they just feel very comfortable with us to even ask? I'm not sure. Outside of a wedding my fiance and I are very much the "more the merrier" type but this is not a casual weekend BBQ, it's our formal wedding at over $100 a person. 

As it is we are going to see where the wiggle room is and first offer plus ones to our wedding party members and close family. 

Any advice on how to tell friends that no we can't accommodate? 

The other thing we have experienced is co-workers thinking they automatically get an invite to the point of asking and saying that want to bring a guest. Where are people's manners? lol. Crazy I know. 

Re: Guests asking for plus ones!! Need advice.

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member




    My fiance and I just recently sent out our wedding invitations. Already, we both have had some friends (who are single) ask if they can bring a guest. I'm honestly shocked someone who think to ask this, if the invite was only addressed to them, but people will be people. As much as it put me in an akward position we had to tell them that we'd like to be able to accommodate, but will not know until closer to the wedding and I expressed that we made our guest list with a budget in mind since we are paying per head. It felt funny tell 2 friends of ours this, but I also felt I needed to be clear. 

    Anyone else experience this? I really felt it was rude of them to ask, but I got out of my bride (less than two months to go) head, and thought well maybe they just feel very comfortable with us to even ask? I'm not sure. Outside of a wedding my fiance and I are very much the "more the merrier" type but this is not a casual weekend BBQ, it's our formal wedding at over $100 a person. 

    As it is we are going to see where the wiggle room is and first offer plus ones to our wedding party members and close family. 

    Any advice on how to tell friends that no we can't accommodate? 

    The other thing we have experienced is co-workers thinking they automatically get an invite to the point of asking and saying that want to bring a guest. Where are people's manners? lol. Crazy I know. 


    This is the board for technical questions.  You might want to repost this (XP) on the etiquette board.

    It is absolutely rude for a guest to ask to bring additional people.  If these friends are truly single, and not dating anyone, then you are within the boundaries of manners to not extend a +1.  However, when making guest lists for both my DD and DS, we asked several questions to ourselves when considering truly single guests.  Do they know anyone else at the wedding?  Will they need to travel (and therefore would be nice to have a companion)?  We did ultimately offer +1's to all guests regardless. 

    On a personal note, I would automatically extend +1's to family and WP friends.  The "wiggle room" that should have been made is a safety net for any single friends who may have begun relationships after the guest list was made. 

    If anyone else were to ask, you simply say that you are unable to make any changes to the guest list.


    DrillSergeantCat
  • ernursejernursej
    Tenth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member

    We budgeted for +1s for any truly single guest in case they entered into a relationship prior to sending the invitations out. This ended up being smart planning as we had two guests enter into relationships and we were able to send an invite inviting the guest and their significant other by name.

    You are not required to accommodate +1s provided that they are truly +1s and not excluding anyone in a relationship.

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