Wedding Woes

Happy and Nervous

edited June 14 in Wedding Woes
Can't believe we have a month to go til married...but I am the one getting scared, not to say I Do but that my disability will make me ill from the stress.  Would it be appropriate to  have a private vow exchange for us before our planned ceremony?  The ceremony will still
take place, but just him and I would be there the first time.


Re: Happy and Nervous

  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I don't think there's a problem with it as long as what you're talking about is not a legally binding ceremony beforehand a la Jim and Pam in The Office. 

    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueens
  • If you're referencing anxiety, I have it as well. I was happy and excited, and the day before we went through with the judge on what we were going to say - but that morning I felt so anxious.

    If you're able to, find something that will settle your stomach. There is a gravol that is non-drowsy that will help.

    First look is also an option.

    Also, is there anyone who knows how to calm you down besides your fiance? If so, have them around or find something to distract you if the first look isn't an option {My husband didn't want to do it}

    For myself, my mum and I sat alone for a bit just chatting before walking out. We watched the slideshow and talked about different memories associated with the photos.
    short+sassyOurWildKingdom
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Because I wanted a hand fasting, and DH's mom is uber uber religious (like church every day religious) and no one really knows I'm pagan anyway, I was going to do a private pagan ceremony/hand fasting beforehand. Like RIGHT before the ceremony.  As it turns out, we didn't have the time for it anyway and had a ceremony with 'pagan undertones' instead and did a hand fasting but mentioned it was a celtic tradition (it was celtic themed).

    I wasn't really nervous per say but I will say the first look helped tremendously.  We also did a dry run 1/2 hour beforehand and were out in the open near the ceremony site as guests arrived. Everyone pretty much saw me before my walk down the aisle and I talked to people and chatted with everyone before the ceremony.  nbd.  Do first look!

    MissKittyDangerOurWildKingdom
  • ernursejernursej member
    Tenth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    H and I got ready together and then drove ourselves to the ceremony/ reception site. I saw all of my guests before hand and I wasn't the least bit nervous. I have a generalized anxiety disorder and was quite worried about how I would do. I still felt special walking down the aisle and got extra time with my guests. We also kept our vows to the standard as I didn't feel I could handle anything else. I would recommend seeing each other and/or your guests ahead of time. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • I have ANXIETY and a Traumatic Brain Injury from my time in the military so i am scared that it's going to 'act up' and cause headaches and a blackout.  FH and his mom know about them and told me everything is going to be OK, but I still worry.  My best friend is my Matron of Honor and a former Deputy Sheriff and loves us both so she's volunteered to keep me calm and get me laughing...plus the VA maybe getting me a Therapy Dog before the wedding, so that will be the BIGGEST help of all and gift from Uncle Sam;compounded with the 'Snow White' photo shoot with our furbabies and feather baby-and all the advice you have given...I know I am going to make it through and be a 'Princess Bride' as my dressmaker said in his last email telling me gown is coming as of last night.
    ernursejOliveOilsMom
  • knottiec49283d88aaeaed2knottiec49283d88aaeaed2 Houston, TX member
    10 Comments
    Totally agree with everything that's been said. You should really what makes you feel most comfortable. I know lots of couples who have done this sort of thing, getting "officially" married at city hall and then doing the big party later on. You should do whatever you feel most comfortable with :) I know it can be a stressful time.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers


    Totally agree with everything that's been said. You should really what makes you feel most comfortable. I know lots of couples who have done this sort of thing, getting "officially" married at city hall and then doing the big party later on. You should do whatever you feel most comfortable with :) I know it can be a stressful time.


    That's not what the OP is doing. Please stop spreading bad advice. 

    sparklepants41dridahoywedding
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