Moms and Maids

Should I feel guilty?

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Re: Should I feel guilty?

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member

    CMGragain said:

    Well, I have a 35 year old unmarried son.  If he told me that he had decided to get married to the girl of his dreams in a private ceremony in Timbuktu, I would be happy for him.  I would expect him to visit us afterwards and spend a family day or two.  No, I don't think this would upset me.  Not all families are alike.



    You just want him to get married. :)

    Anniversary

    CMGragainSTARMOON44ahoywedding




  • CMGragain said:


    Well, I have a 35 year old unmarried son.  If he told me that he had decided to get married to the girl of his dreams in a private ceremony in Timbuktu, I would be happy for him.  I would expect him to visit us afterwards and spend a family day or two.  No, I don't think this would upset me.  Not all families are alike.





    You just want him to get married. :)


    Not to the wrong girl!  I would love more grandchildren, though, and I would rather he be married if he gives me any!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • True not all families are alike. But in this case the parents ARE hurt and upset. 
    charlotte989875banana468STARMOON44southernbelle0915
  • divarhddivarhd
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    @CMGragainI wish my FMIL was as understanding as you.  My FI and I are both mid 30's and she's not happy with anything we want to do.  Even tho we're actually doing mostly traditional, just not church/religious ceremony.  It's extremely frustrating.  I'm probably in the minority but I agree with OP, it's HER wedding, she's an adult.  If his family doesn't like it and they're gonna hold it over their heads forever, well, they don't need to be part of their lives.  My FI said exactly that about his own mother. 
    Met: 5/4/16
    Dating: 6/21/16
    Engaged: 3/20/17
    Wedding: 2/24/18

  • CMGragain said:

    Well, I have a 35 year old unmarried son.  If he told me that he had decided to get married to the girl of his dreams in a private ceremony in Timbuktu, I would be happy for him.  I would expect him to visit us afterwards and spend a family day or two.  No, I don't think this would upset me.  Not all families are alike.


    This is a really great attitude to have! Your kids are lucky you feel that way :)

    I do think there's a difference between saying "Hey parents, we got married! No one knew, and you're the first people we're telling" and saying "Hey parents, we're going to get married and we'll tell you all about it but you're not allowed to come." I could see how the latter could be hurtful, and it's up to the couple getting married to know their families and how people may react, then take that into consideration.
    charlotte989875SP29adk19divarhd
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