Reception Ideas

Ushers & Program Attendant - Do They Get Introduced at the Reception?

Hello lovelies!  I have been looking for an answer to this question for a few days now and can't seem to find any good references anywhere online. So here's the situation: in my wedding this upcoming fall (October - yay!), we will have 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. Easy, right? Yes. BUT, we're also including my two male cousins as ushers and my female cousin as a program attendant, separate from the 4 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids. They will be dressed like the wedding party; the ushers will have the same tuxes as the groomsmen, they just will only wear the vest (no jacket), and the program attendant has the same color dress as the bridesmaids but in a different neckline style. 

Here's my issue: My mom thinks that since the ushers & program attendant are dressed like the wedding party, they should be introduced into the reception like the rest of the wedding party.  Side note: they are recognized in our wedding program - they are included on the list as the "wedding attendants" under the bridesmaids and groomsmen. My fiance and I think it's a bit odd to announce them, not because we dislike them (they are my only cousins - we are both very fond of them), but because we've never seen anyone else do that, especially since ushers are traditionally doubling as groomsmen. Can I get some opinions here? As well as some advice on how to navigate either side of the argument when we do make the decision (aka how to tell my fiance that we are announcing them/how to tell my mom we aren't - both are very stubborn people :wink: ). Thanks in advance! 

Re: Ushers & Program Attendant - Do They Get Introduced at the Reception?

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 17
    I have never seen tuxedo wearing ushers, and wearing a tuxedo without the jacket is just improper.  No way would by husband or my son agree to dress like that.  Your cousin shouldn't have to dress in any special color.  I think you are asking way too much of these people.

    Your Mom is pointing out that you are treating these people as if they were members of your wedding party by asking them to wear certain clothes, however you are not honoring them!  She has a point.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    SP29InLoveInQueenssparklepants41OliveOilsMom
  • I don't get the usher thing either. They are either groomsmen or not. Groomsmen can help with "ushering" - if it's needed at all.

    I had a good friend help with programs/guest book/bubbles. She asked what she could do and I gladly accepted her help. But she wore whatever she wanted. She was invited to the rehearsal with her husband and got a small gift. But I didn't announce her as part of the wedding party. She attended the reception with her hubby and had a great time. 
    InLoveInQueens
  • Oops - realized I didn't answer the question. If they are wearing tuxes and buying a dress that coordinates with the wedding party then they are part of the wedding party and should be announced. 
    SP29InLoveInQueens
  • edited June 17
    They're in your wedding party so yes they should be introduced. They should also be given gifts. 
    SP29InLoveInQueensCMGragainsparklepants41
  • Please don't ask someone to be a program attendant! And if you must at least let her wear whatever she wants!!!
    banana468InLoveInQueenssouthernbelle0915levioosa
  • Yikes, you're making them spend money on the same clothes as the WP? If that's the case, they should be invited to the rehearsal dinner, given a thank you gift, and introduced. BUT only IF they agree to all of that. 

    "Program attendant" is not an honor. It can be performed just as well by a basket as by a human. Ushers aren't totally necessary, but I feel like they're still fairly common in more traditional weddings. If your cousins agree to be ushers, a black suit they already own should be fine. I was an usher in my cousin's wedding years ago and just wore a black dress I already had. I wasn't introduced, but was invited to the rehearsal dinner. I also felt pretty useless, since people know how to find an empty seat. Her brother escorted our grandparents down before the WP. 
    sparklepants41InLoveInQueensSP29
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited June 19
    A ) Don't announce anyone - no one cares, and many WP members feel super awkward walking/dancing/etc. into the reception. What do you do? No one knows. "Cute" intros are never actually that funny or cute.

    B ) If you are going to have people announced, announce everyone so they at least feel moderately important or cared about relative to your A-list bridal party.

    Anniversary

    charlotte989875InLoveInQueensCMGragainmollybarker11
  • Oh and totally agree that they absolutely should be invited to the rehearsal dinner along with their SOs (if applicable).
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    InLoveInQueens
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited June 21
    If you are asking them to dress up and do other things for you beyond what wedding guests would normally do, then you should treat them as wedding party members. That means inviting them to the rehearsal dinner with their SOS and announcing them along with the other wedding party members.

    Otherwise, don't announce any wedding party members and don't ask these people to dress up or be ushers or "program attendants."
    InLoveInQueensCMGragainSP29
  • thisismynicknamethisismynickname City By The Lake member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I'm not at all opposed to the concept of an usher, provided they are given equal respect of the people chosen to stand up for the Happy Couple. Gift, rehearsal dinner, bridal party photos, bridal party announcements at reception if announcements are done, program mention. I consider the usher just as important as the others standing up. 

    Program attendant "role" is silly and unnecessary though. 
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    InLoveInQueens
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