Registering and Gifts

"wedding themed" gifts

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Re: "wedding themed" gifts

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    I got roasted on TB because I asked if it was inappropriate to have a shower for my second baby. I said in my OP that they were 19 years apart so I don't have anything from the first one because that's usually the reason given as to why you should't have a shower for subsequent children. Whoooo boy! I was told, "BUT this reasoning???  So what?  You want to have a child, great.  Why is it my responsibility to buy you the stuff you'll need?" Actually got a couple variations on that  response.

    Anyway, you ask me to wrap it in clear? You're getting a bag loaded with tissue paper and each item inside is individually wrapped. There's also a new trend of including a cutesy poem on the invite asking for books instead of cards. I give books as gifts. Books aren't cheap! Why are they being relegated to cards?


    This is not a new trend, but I do despise it.  I also love giving books as gifts. 

    When DD was expecting her first, her friends generously and graciously offered to host a baby shower.  They LOVED this book idea.  I told them how much I was uncomfortable with it, and explained my rationale.  I was vetoed.  One friend tried to compromise with some sort of raffle.  Apparently there is a trend where you ask guests to "donate" a box of diapers.  Those guests that do,  have their name put in a basket to be drawn for some prize.  I thought that idea was even worse!  I shudder to think of how many other "trends" are out there!

    I am NOT a fan of what are known as "sprinkle" showers.  These are showers for child #2 who is NOT far in age.  The logic is that it is necessary to "refresh" some of the baby items, or to gift because baby #2 is a different gender than baby #1.  In my family, for any baby beyond #1, we do not require an "event" to offer a gift when baby #2 is born.  When we visit, we bring a little something. 

    @DrillSergeantCat, in your situation I would have NO problem attending a shower for you or even hosting one. 
    ILoveBeachMusicInLoveInQueens
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member

    MobKaz said:

    This is not a new trend, but I do despise it.  I also love giving books as gifts. 

    When DD was expecting her first, her friends generously and graciously offered to host a baby shower.  They LOVED this book idea.  I told them how much I was uncomfortable with it, and explained my rationale.  I was vetoed.  One friend tried to compromise with some sort of raffle.  Apparently there is a trend where you ask guests to "donate" a box of diapers.  Those guests that do,  have their name put in a basket to be drawn for some prize.  I thought that idea was even worse!  I shudder to think of how many other "trends" are out there!

    I am NOT a fan of what are known as "sprinkle" showers.  These are showers for child #2 who is NOT far in age.  The logic is that it is necessary to "refresh" some of the baby items, or to gift because baby #2 is a different gender than baby #1.  In my family, for any baby beyond #1, we do not require an "event" to offer a gift when baby #2 is born.  When we visit, we bring a little something. 

    @DrillSergeantCat, in your situation I would have NO problem attending a shower for you or even hosting one. 


    I saw lots of women on TB talking about throwing themselves a diaper shower or including a diaper raffle. I tried to explain that diapers are still a gift and as such it it's tacky/rude to throw your own diaper shower. 

    A baby shower that I went to for a friend was so gross. MTB hosted it although she put someone else's name on the invite (you could tell who was running the show) and if you won a game you won a prize...for the MTB. I "won" a game and opened my prize, it was a set of mesh feeders. I was like "Ummm...thanks?" before I was told it was for the MTB. 
    thisismynickname2InLoveInQueensSP29

  • MobKaz said:





    I got roasted on TB because I asked if it was inappropriate to have a shower for my second baby. I said in my OP that they were 19 years apart so I don't have anything from the first one because that's usually the reason given as to why you should't have a shower for subsequent children. Whoooo boy! I was told, "BUT this reasoning???  So what?  You want to have a child, great.  Why is it my responsibility to buy you the stuff you'll need?" Actually got a couple variations on that  response.

    Anyway, you ask me to wrap it in clear? You're getting a bag loaded with tissue paper and each item inside is individually wrapped. There's also a new trend of including a cutesy poem on the invite asking for books instead of cards. I give books as gifts. Books aren't cheap! Why are they being relegated to cards?




    This is not a new trend, but I do despise it.  I also love giving books as gifts. 

    When DD was expecting her first, her friends generously and graciously offered to host a baby shower.  They LOVED this book idea.  I told them how much I was uncomfortable with it, and explained my rationale.  I was vetoed.  One friend tried to compromise with some sort of raffle.  Apparently there is a trend where you ask guests to "donate" a box of diapers.  Those guests that do,  have their name put in a basket to be drawn for some prize.  I thought that idea was even worse!  I shudder to think of how many other "trends" are out there!

    I am NOT a fan of what are known as "sprinkle" showers.  These are showers for child #2 who is NOT far in age.  The logic is that it is necessary to "refresh" some of the baby items, or to gift because baby #2 is a different gender than baby #1.  In my family, for any baby beyond #1, we do not require an "event" to offer a gift when baby #2 is born.  When we visit, we bring a little something. 

    @DrillSergeantCat, in your situation I would have NO problem attending a shower for you or even hosting one. 



    My culture doesn't do baby showers (Jewish) so I've been to very few of them, and I find most things about them to be extremely strange, but sprinkles are one thing I'm very ok with. It never made sense to me why a woman only gets to celebrate her first kid! I think as long as she registers for smaller items or disposables, it deserves a celebration!
    SP29
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member




    My culture doesn't do baby showers (Jewish) so I've been to very few of them, and I find most things about them to be extremely strange, but sprinkles are one thing I'm very ok with. It never made sense to me why a woman only gets to celebrate her first kid! I think as long as she registers for smaller items or disposables, it deserves a celebration!


    A baby shower is to welcome the woman into motherhood which can only happen once. You're not really celebrating the baby, because it's not here to be celebrated. 
    InLoveInQueensMobKazMyNameIsNot


  • We also added one set of sports-team specific onesies to our registry and ended up with at least five sets of related sports-team outfits. Especially when it comes to babies I know people want to give gifts of fun stuff or cute stuff, but damnit, someone's gotta buy the nipple cream and butt cream, ok? Lol. (I'm really only kidding with that statement; don't worry, anything I didn't receive as a gift I am perfectly capable and willing to buy for ourselves, I'm not entitled.)

    After this experience I've just decided I'm never going off-registry for anyone ever again. 

    Yeah I've always had it in my head that expectant mothers receive a tonne of baby clothes because cute little onesies are the most fun to buy! So I try to resist the draw of adorable miniature outfits (note: adorable to me, not necessarily to the parents). My mother bought so much clothes for my nephew that she just has a closet full of stuff for him when he comes over. Trust me he's gotten about a zillion Pittsburgh Penguin items in the past 2.5 years lol.

    Registries are not a thing in my social circles, but my go-to baby gifts are books and gift cards to Shoppers Drug Mart (for nipple & butt cream obv).

    OurWildKingdomDrillSergeantCatthisismynickname2
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member

    Viczaesar said:

    I really hate the card book thing.  First of all, way to devalue the books that I often give as a present or part of a present.  Second, don't tell me that it's okay because cards cost $5 anyway (the rationale that I've often been given).  I do not buy $5 cards.  I don't even buy $1 cards.  I'm not a card person and I have packs of blank cards that I picked up in the dollar section of Target or Michaels for 8/$1 for thank you notes and the like.  Don't assume that I'm going to "waste" $5 on a cutesy card and then try to redirect that money to manipulate me into buying you yet another present.  It seriously pisses me off.  I decide my budget and I decide what I'm buying with that budget.


    Agreed. I hate the $5-$6 cards at stores. 90% of them have glitter, which I abhore and refuse to buy (there's a reason it's called the herpes of the craft world). You can find simple cards for $.99 in the same aisle as well as blank cards. 

    And I tend to buy books anyway as part of my gift because #readallthethings and I want to encourage reading.

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member












    My culture doesn't do baby showers (Jewish) so I've been to very few of them, and I find most things about them to be extremely strange, but sprinkles are one thing I'm very ok with. It never made sense to me why a woman only gets to celebrate her first kid! I think as long as she registers for smaller items or disposables, it deserves a celebration!






    A baby shower is to welcome the woman into motherhood which can only happen once. You're not really celebrating the baby, because it's not here to be celebrated. 


    Parents are welcome to celebrate each and every child THEY choose to have.  However, once the first child is born, it becomes THEIR responsibility to provide for any additional necessities.  We shower a bride-to-be for her entry into married life.  I certainly do not sprinkle my children for each and every year of their marriage after their first year, so I'm not sure why I would feel compelled to do it for additional children. 


    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueens
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    "I'm really offended that no one felt the need to celebrate ME with a shower" - no unborn baby ever

    Anniversary

    charlotte989875eileenrobDrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueens




  • MobKaz said:






















    My culture doesn't do baby showers (Jewish) so I've been to very few of them, and I find most things about them to be extremely strange, but sprinkles are one thing I'm very ok with. It never made sense to me why a woman only gets to celebrate her first kid! I think as long as she registers for smaller items or disposables, it deserves a celebration!










    A baby shower is to welcome the woman into motherhood which can only happen once. You're not really celebrating the baby, because it's not here to be celebrated. 




    Parents are welcome to celebrate each and every child THEY choose to have.  However, once the first child is born, it becomes THEIR responsibility to provide for any additional necessities.  We shower a bride-to-be for her entry into married life.  I certainly do not sprinkle my children for each and every year of their marriage after their first year, so I'm not sure why I would feel compelled to do it for additional children. 






    To be fair, it's THEIR responsibility to provide for all their children, even before they're born. It's generous (and optional) of anyone to give them any help/gifts/shower.

    Which is actually why I personally don't mind being invited to sprinkles, as long as it's not hosted by the parents. I can always RSVP "no" if I don't want to go.


    I feel the same way. If it's a close friend or family I'm buying a gift for the Mom and Baby anyway, and I love an opportunity to see my close friends/families so a small party is fun (Also all our showers involve lots of wine and minimal to no games so they're a good time). 

    But it I hate the book thing. I love books, I usually give books, I hate being told to give books in addition to something else. 
    ahoyweddingDrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueens
  • Super UO but in my circle books are usually suggested for the wishing well.  Instead of $5 on a set of bibs or a tube of Desitin I'm happy to spend the $5 on a board book.  A bigger, more expensive book is usually part of my gift...I wouldn't put The Very Hungry Catepillar or The Day the Crayons Quit in a wishing well.  

    @DrillSergeantCat I see nothing wrong with a second shower when the kids are that far apart!  And I'm with @charlotte989875 that for me, showers and sprinkles have plenty of wine and food and few games so if someone other than the mom/parents is hosting I'm okay with it.

    UGH last month two of the teachers at my school put fliers in everyone's mailbox for a baby shower for a third teacher.  I wish I'd taken a picture.  It said "Diapers or a Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby gift card only" my hand to God  :s
    OurWildKingdomHeffalumpSP29

  • MobKaz said:



    eileenrob said:


    Super UO but in my circle books are usually suggested for the wishing well.  Instead of $5 on a set of bibs or a tube of Desitin I'm happy to spend the $5 on a board book.  A bigger, more expensive book is usually part of my gift...I wouldn't put The Very Hungry Catepillar or The Day the Crayons Quit in a wishing well.  

    @DrillSergeantCat I see nothing wrong with a second shower when the kids are that far apart!  And I'm with @charlotte989875 that for me, showers and sprinkles have plenty of wine and food and few games so if someone other than the mom/parents is hosting I'm okay with it.

    UGH last month two of the teachers at my school put fliers in everyone's mailbox for a baby shower for a third teacher.  I wish I'd taken a picture.  It said "Diapers or a Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby gift card only" my hand to God  :s






    I know I will regret this, but........wishing well?  Do tell.


    Not actually that bad...I've seen them at wedding showers.

    It's when the hosts set up an anonymous "well" (I've seen everything from a paper mache well to a laundry basket covered in pretty fabric used), usually full of tissue paper or something. They'll also add a note about it to the invitation, so guests know. Guests can anonymously add extra unwrapped gifts, usually $5 or less, to the well, and they're all fished out individually later. 

    Personally, I've never had any issue with them, though I budget those smaller gifts into my gift, and will either skip it or get a less expensive gift if I know the shower has one.
    eileenrob
  • @MobKaz JediE pretty much covered it, a wishing well is just a big basket where guests put in a small token gift.  I usually throw in measuring spoons at bridal showers and a board book at baby showers...whatever it is it's quite inexpensive (never over $5).  And it's anonymous, so no pressure for anyone to participate.  I didn't realize they weren't the norm at all showers.

    And Kelly and Jessie summed up how my close work friends and I felt!  I passed on that shower  :*









  • MobKaz said:



























    My culture doesn't do baby showers (Jewish) so I've been to very few of them, and I find most things about them to be extremely strange, but sprinkles are one thing I'm very ok with. It never made sense to me why a woman only gets to celebrate her first kid! I think as long as she registers for smaller items or disposables, it deserves a celebration!












    A baby shower is to welcome the woman into motherhood which can only happen once. You're not really celebrating the baby, because it's not here to be celebrated. 





    Parents are welcome to celebrate each and every child THEY choose to have.  However, once the first child is born, it becomes THEIR responsibility to provide for any additional necessities.  We shower a bride-to-be for her entry into married life.  I certainly do not sprinkle my children for each and every year of their marriage after their first year, so I'm not sure why I would feel compelled to do it for additional children. 








    To be fair, it's THEIR responsibility to provide for all their children, even before they're born. It's generous (and optional) of anyone to give them any help/gifts/shower.

    Which is actually why I personally don't mind being invited to sprinkles, as long as it's not hosted by the parents. I can always RSVP "no" if I don't want to go.




    I feel the same way. If it's a close friend or family I'm buying a gift for the Mom and Baby anyway, and I love an opportunity to see my close friends/families so a small party is fun (Also all our showers involve lots of wine and minimal to no games so they're a good time). 

    But it I hate the book thing. I love books, I usually give books, I hate being told to give books in addition to something else. 


    Yes. If showers have friends + booze + no games, I will 100% attend. Plus, yeah if I'm close enough to be invited to the shower, I'm probably buying a gift anyway.
    charlotte989875
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
















    MobKaz said:
































    My culture doesn't do baby showers (Jewish) so I've been to very few of them, and I find most things about them to be extremely strange, but sprinkles are one thing I'm very ok with. It never made sense to me why a woman only gets to celebrate her first kid! I think as long as she registers for smaller items or disposables, it deserves a celebration!














    A baby shower is to welcome the woman into motherhood which can only happen once. You're not really celebrating the baby, because it's not here to be celebrated. 






    Parents are welcome to celebrate each and every child THEY choose to have.  However, once the first child is born, it becomes THEIR responsibility to provide for any additional necessities.  We shower a bride-to-be for her entry into married life.  I certainly do not sprinkle my children for each and every year of their marriage after their first year, so I'm not sure why I would feel compelled to do it for additional children. 










    To be fair, it's THEIR responsibility to provide for all their children, even before they're born. It's generous (and optional) of anyone to give them any help/gifts/shower.

    Which is actually why I personally don't mind being invited to sprinkles, as long as it's not hosted by the parents. I can always RSVP "no" if I don't want to go.






    I feel the same way. If it's a close friend or family I'm buying a gift for the Mom and Baby anyway, and I love an opportunity to see my close friends/families so a small party is fun (Also all our showers involve lots of wine and minimal to no games so they're a good time). 

    But it I hate the book thing. I love books, I usually give books, I hate being told to give books in addition to something else. 




    Yes. If showers have friends + booze + no games, I will 100% attend. Plus, yeah if I'm close enough to be invited to the shower, I'm probably buying a gift anyway.


    Agreed. As long as I'm not being lied to about what the party is for, and it's properly hosted, I'm probably there! So I don't mind additional baby showers. No, I'm not going to buy a new high chair because you want it in blue now instead of pink, but I'll get a new outfit (I usually buy larger sizes for when baby is a year- 2 years), a book, or similar.

    If it were someone remote to me, I probably wouldn't go, but one of my good friends, well I'm going to give a gift anyway, so why not make a gathering/party out of it.
    charlotte989875OurWildKingdomahoywedding
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member

    SP29 said:


    Agreed. As long as I'm not being lied to about what the party is for, and it's properly hosted, I'm probably there! So I don't mind additional baby showers. No, I'm not going to buy a new high chair because you want it in blue now instead of pink, but I'll get a new outfit (I usually buy larger sizes for when baby is a year- 2 years), a book, or similar.

    If it were someone remote to me, I probably wouldn't go, but one of my good friends, well I'm going to give a gift anyway, so why not make a gathering/party out of it.


    That what makes it a sprinkle, I guess? That it's typically smaller gifts. 

    I have my own set of "rules" when it comes to showers. The subsequent child needs to be a different sex than the first or there must be a gap of at least 5 years. 

    I had several people ask when I was pregnant with PG if they could throw me a shower and I wouldn't allow it because I'd just had a shower for Mouse and a Bridal shower within the past year and I didn't want my friends thinking I was just using them for gifts. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • kaos16kaos16
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    member

    SP29 said:


    Agreed. As long as I'm not being lied to about what the party is for, and it's properly hosted, I'm probably there! So I don't mind additional baby showers. No, I'm not going to buy a new high chair because you want it in blue now instead of pink, but I'll get a new outfit (I usually buy larger sizes for when baby is a year- 2 years), a book, or similar.

    If it were someone remote to me, I probably wouldn't go, but one of my good friends, well I'm going to give a gift anyway, so why not make a gathering/party out of it.


    That what makes it a sprinkle, I guess? That it's typically smaller gifts. 

    I have my own set of "rules" when it comes to showers. The subsequent child needs to be a different sex than the first or there must be a gap of at least 5 years. 

    I had several people ask when I was pregnant with PG if they could throw me a shower and I wouldn't allow it because I'd just had a shower for Mouse and a Bridal shower within the past year and I didn't want my friends thinking I was just using them for gifts. 
    I'm heartbroken that I didn't get invited to the shower for a friend's wife's 4th baby in 6 years. . . . . . but guys, it's a boy this time.  If we were actually friends I would be happy to get her a "boy" gift or something, but come on!
  • kaos16 said:

    SP29 said:


    Agreed. As long as I'm not being lied to about what the party is for, and it's properly hosted, I'm probably there! So I don't mind additional baby showers. No, I'm not going to buy a new high chair because you want it in blue now instead of pink, but I'll get a new outfit (I usually buy larger sizes for when baby is a year- 2 years), a book, or similar.

    If it were someone remote to me, I probably wouldn't go, but one of my good friends, well I'm going to give a gift anyway, so why not make a gathering/party out of it.


    That what makes it a sprinkle, I guess? That it's typically smaller gifts. 

    I have my own set of "rules" when it comes to showers. The subsequent child needs to be a different sex than the first or there must be a gap of at least 5 years. 

    I had several people ask when I was pregnant with PG if they could throw me a shower and I wouldn't allow it because I'd just had a shower for Mouse and a Bridal shower within the past year and I didn't want my friends thinking I was just using them for gifts. 
    I'm heartbroken that I didn't get invited to the shower for a friend's wife's 4th baby in 6 years. . . . . . but guys, it's a boy this time.  If we were actually friends I would be happy to get her a "boy" gift or something, but come on!

    If you're excited for her/them, why can't you get something for the friend without the party? I'm pretty sure he's also excitedly expecting a child. Make the card out to both of them.
    holyguacamole79OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueens
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I went to a sprinkle once that was actually a blast!  It ended up being an excuse to get a bunch of girlfriends together.  I can't recall if the mom was registered or not (it wasn't the focus), but the hostess brought ribbon, glue guns, and hair clips to make bows for her new daughter (her first-born is a boy).  It was fun sitting around, gabbing, and playing with ribbons!

    Regarding personalized gifts, we (thankfully) only got one set of monogrammed towels.  But the present that I liked (and it was definitely off-registry) was one of these on a stand with our last name on it.  We've used it several times for BBQs and parties.  





    Anniversary
    OurWildKingdomeileenrob
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