Music

Bouquet toss and Garter Songs

My DJ has an option on their sheet that I need to fill out for the Bouquet toss and garter removal songs. What have you done or will do for that? I need some ideas!

Re: Bouquet toss and Garter Songs

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member


    My DJ has an option on their sheet that I need to fill out for the Bouquet toss and garter removal songs. What have you done or will do for that? I need some ideas!


    1) Please just tell your DJ not to do the bouquet and garter stuff. It's so awkward, especially for the singles who feel compelled to participate in a display of their not-marriedness. Also, I really don't need to see lingerie removal on the dance floor. It's not cute.

    2) If you're insistent on doing this, and you're totally at a loss for songs, any decent DJ should be able to pick out appropriate songs. This is just in case you had specific songs you wanted for this.

    Anniversary

    geebee908
  • marine18-2marine18-2
    Name Dropper First Comment
    member
    edited June 27
    I totally agree that it would be awkward! But I just feel like I have to since its a traditional thing... And I've never been to a wedding before so I just kinda assumed majority of people did that... and my parents are kinda forcing it upon me soooo yeah.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member


    I totally agree that it would be awkward! But I just feel like I have to since its a traditional thing... And I've never been to a wedding before so I just kinda assumed majority of people did that... and my parents are kinda forcing it upon me soooo yeah.


    This is YOUR wedding reception.  Of ALL the things a parent might try to "force", the bouquet and garter toss seems like a creepy tradition upon which to insist!

    An alternative that has gained popularity is an anniversary dance.  That dance highlights all married couples.  As the dance plays, couples quietly sit down until the couple who has been married the longest remains. 

    I am not a fan of either since both traditions target certain groups but not all guests. 

    You control the playlist and the DJ who plays the songs.  When you hand him your playlist, indicate that none of those songs are necessary because you are not doing the tosses.  If you don't wear a garter there will be nothing to toss. 
    OurWildKingdomeileenrob
  • I didn't do either of those. I also didn't mention that I wasn't going to do them to my Traditional MIL. If she or anyone else noticed that we didn't do them, no one said anything.
  • It is NOT the traditional thing.  While the bouquet toss has been done for many years, the garter toss was unheard of in 1976 when I was married.  It is very recent, and it is falling out of favor!  I haven't seen it done in years.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I didn't do either. A lot of the weddings I've attended recently also skipped it (thankfully, because I find it so uncomfortable!). 

    charlotte989875InLoveInQueens
  • I've been to at least two dozen weddings in the past four or five years and none of them did bouquet/garter toss. If you want to do it, that's fine, but it's not traditional and many people will be happy you skipped it. 

    The DJ form is really just asking if you have a particular song you want, if you don't they'll just play something they think works. 
  • We didn't do it. The garter toss is officially gross and super cringe-worthy, even if I'm not participating. 

    Our DJ gave us the same list. We wrote "not doing this" and crossed it out. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    InLoveInQueensOurWildKingdomCMGragain
  • The last wedding I went to with a bouquet toss/garter thing was in the 1980s and even though I was just a kid I thought the whole thing was awkward/weird. 

    H & I did not do this - our DJ had lines on his sheet for these two spectacles and we just put "Please do not do" for both lines. 
  • Our DJ was also insistent we did those (and played one of those other ridiculous games). I told him if he wouldn't exclude part of the reception we don't want, we would find a new DJ. If you think they're awkward, don't have them! They were pretty common for several years, but have realllly fallen out of favor recently. I don't think any of your guests will miss them (some of our guests told us they were glad we didn't do them). Stick to your guns and just tell him no!
    OurWildKingdom
  • HeffalumpHeffalump
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited June 27
    A) I pretty much never see bouquet or garter tosses anymore, and B) even if I did, it wouldn't make them enjoyable.  If you don't want to do it, then don't do it.  Trust me, NO ONE will miss them.
    InLoveInQueensOurWildKingdomahoywedding
  • No one wants to see these.  

    Every bouquet toss is awkward to participate in.   And every bouquet toss is awkward to watch.  

    If they were removed from all wedding receptions it would be a step forward to a better wedding experience. 
    kwiksilverahoyweddingInLoveInQueensCMGragain
  • There were literally 2 single ladies at my wedding.  I joked with them that I would just hand them the bouquet, as it was large enough to share.  There were maybe 3 single men.  The whole thing would have been incredibly awkward.  Nobody missed it!  I agree with PP's.  Please don't even do it.  Nobody really enjoys it, and it largely makes guests uncomfortable (which I personally think creeps into poor etiquette territory).
    sparklepants41OurWildKingdomCMGragainahoywedding
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited June 28
    I think the bouquet toss depends on your crowd.  I didn't do it at my own wedding because there was only one single lady there.  Daughter had many single lady friends, and many of them urged her to do it, so she did, but the bouquet landed in the lap of the elder male member of the groom's family, who was very surprised.
    The garter toss is in bad taste IMHO.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OurWildKingdomahoyweddingInLoveInQueensMissKittyDanger
  • Just because there's a spot on the DJ's sheet for the bouquet toss and garter toss doesn't mean you actually have to do it. We didn't have it at our wedding, and my brother and SIL didn't have it at theirs. Nobody missed it. 
    image
    OurWildKingdomsparklepants41
  • MircakesMircakes
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited June 28
    I went to a wedding almost 2 years ago that did both the bouquet and garter toss, so they are still done sometimes. There are people who love those "traditions," and people who hate them (I am the latter). I highly doubt that many people would complain if you don't have either. I personally have no intentions of doing either at my own wedding. 
  • I've only seen the bouquet toss at one wedding (my aunt's in the early 90s) and I've never seen a garter toss.  Ditto PP that the anniversary dance is something nice, if your DJ "needs" to fill the time.  
    OurWildKingdom
  • justsiejustsie
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    There was a bouquet toss at my cousins wedding- I was MAYBE 15/16 at the time and was "encouraged" by the family to go up there. Bride basically threw the bouquet directly at me and no one else wanted it so I awkwardly stuck my hand out to catch it so it didn't just hit the ground. Then we all immediately went back to our seats. It was pretty sad/boring. 
    image
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    If you (and your FI) don't want a bouquet or garter toss, put your feet down and tell everyone, "We're sorry for your disappointment, but we've made a final decision that we're not doing a bouquet or garter toss. We'd appreciate it if you wouldn't bring it up to us again."
  • edited July 28
    *edit* sorry for Zombie thread!*

    We did it BUT we didn't force those who caught them to dance - they opted to, but it wasn't a solo dance.

    Bouquet toss - Single Ladies
    Garter toss - .... it's stumping me but I do know it was a funny song. I was too busy giggling because my husband thought he was going to be funny and use his teeth {fail! he bit met lmfao!} but gave up and used his hands.

    The best man and one of my BM's caught it and they chose to dance. It wasn't super slow, so my husband used it to dance with my mum and I danced with his stepdad. It ended up being a great moment, but it is definitely not for everyone.


    Another option, instead of throwing it, is go through years and find out the couple that has been together the longest and give the bouquet to them.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Another option, instead of throwing it, is go through years and find out the couple that has been together the longest and give the bouquet to them.

    Stuck in box

    If you do this, make sure the couple in question is okay with it first. If they're not, don't do it.

    You might consider donating your flowers or placing them on the grave of a loved one if that's a tradition in your religion and/or culture.
    okduhwhateverMissKittyDanger
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