Etiquette

Thank You Card Wording

So my aunt gave us a card for our wedding stating that her "gift" to us was letting my *other* aunt and her family use her camper for the weekend. I heard through the grape vine that Aunt A was complaining that it cost her $150 in fuel to take the camper out there, something that I didn't ask her to do. Aunt B is her favourite sister so I wasn't surprised that she offered the camper (Aunt A and her BF brought their motor home for themselves, we paid for the camp site).  I had actually offered some alternative accommodations if it was going to be too much hassle for Aunt A to bring both rec vehicles out there. Aunt B is pretty broke so I guess instead of asking her to cover fuel, Aunt A made that our present. 

I wasn't really involved in this whole thing, so I was kind of surprised by the note in the card. I don't care that they didn't give us anything, but it would have been less weird had she just given us a card and that was it. 

I guess my question is, do I just thank her in the card for what she perceived as a gift?  Like "Thanks for bringing out your camper for Aunt B"?  I'm feeling salty today for other reasons so I need help with wording LOL.  Just want to get the last few thank yous done and sent by the end of this week!

Re: Thank You Card Wording

  • Thanks ladies. Simple and straightforward. Just wanted to make sure, since it's a strange situation. It was nice of her to help Aunt B, I just wasn't expecting the note in the card. 
  • I honestly don't think you need a TY card for this. She didn't give you a gift she gave her sister a gift. It would be appropriate for sister B to send a TY note but I don't think you need to. I would treat this just like any other card given at a wedding. 
    lizybeffDrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueens
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member


    I honestly don't think you need a TY card for this. She didn't give you a gift she gave her sister a gift. It would be appropriate for sister B to send a TY note but I don't think you need to. I would treat this just like any other card given at a wedding. 


    Except her aunt specifically said that was her wedding gift from her. I'm sure if she didn't get a thank you note, people would hear about it!
  • If she hadn't mentioned it in the card would it be any different? I guess it just seems odd to me; it's not actually a gift for the bride or the groom, so why would they write the thank you note, they didn't use the camper?

    I'm all for keeping family peace and an extra TY note isn't a big deal, I just don't think it's any different of a situation than a guest that comes and gives a card but no gift; a nice gesture but no need for a TY note. 
    InLoveInQueens
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    @charlotte989875, I agree it is very odd. However, the aunt considers it a wedding gift to the couple so that someone they cared about could attend the wedding. Yes, if she hadn't mentioned it in the card then a thank you note wouldn't be needed. Since she said it was the gift, then a note should be sent if nothing but to keep the family peace.
    short+sassy


  • I did wonder about that @charlotte989875 ;

    Like, do I need to even send a TY?  It wasn't even really a gift, but since it's a minimal gesture on my part, it's definitely easier to just send one. In *her* perception they gave us a gift, regardless of my feelings on how strange it was. So I will honour her gesture, even though I side-eyed the hell out of it in private. At least I won't seem rude (and she's a blabber mouth so if I don't send one she will definitely inform others that I was ungrateful). 



    Yep - if she spent her "gift" budget on the camper expenses, I would have much rather just had a nice card of well wishes with no mention of "I would have bought you a gift but...."
    kwiksilvershort+sassyInLoveInQueens






  • I did wonder about that @charlotte989875 ;

    Like, do I need to even send a TY?  It wasn't even really a gift, but since it's a minimal gesture on my part, it's definitely easier to just send one. In *her* perception they gave us a gift, regardless of my feelings on how strange it was. So I will honour her gesture, even though I side-eyed the hell out of it in private. At least I won't seem rude (and she's a blabber mouth so if I don't send one she will definitely inform others that I was ungrateful). 





    Yep - if she spent her "gift" budget on the camper expenses, I would have much rather just had a nice card of well wishes with no mention of "I would have bought you a gift but...."


    Yes precisely!


  • banana468 said:
    Now isn't the time to teach auntie about what a gift is supposed to be.   Maybe for Christmas you can tell her that her gift is that you've donated to a charity.  ;-) 

    Ha Ha Ha love it "Merry Christmas Aunty, my gift to you is a sizeable donation to the Liberal party" (she would flip, my family is super conservative all the way. They are so jealous that America has Trump and we are "stuck" with a liberal government here)


    She'd flip all the more if it was a donation to the NDP, just sayin ;)

    kwiksilverSP29ahyatt87
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    banana468 said:

    If she mentioned it in passing I wouldn't consider writing a TY note.

    But it sounds like she wrote out that it's her gift to you so just take the time and write what @CMGragain said.  

    Now isn't the time to teach auntie about what a gift is supposed to be.   Maybe for Christmas you can tell her that her gift is that you've donated to a charity.  ;-) 


    This was my first thought as well.  Her "gesture" is like donating to a charity, but wanting the recognition of her "good deed". 
    charlotte989875ILoveBeachMusickwiksilverlovesclimbing






  • banana468 said:
    Now isn't the time to teach auntie about what a gift is supposed to be.   Maybe for Christmas you can tell her that her gift is that you've donated to a charity.  ;-) 


    Ha Ha Ha love it "Merry Christmas Aunty, my gift to you is a sizeable donation to the Liberal party" (she would flip, my family is super conservative all the way. They are so jealous that America has Trump and we are "stuck" with a liberal government here)




    She'd flip all the more if it was a donation to the NDP, just sayin ;)


    True. But even I couldn't bring myself to give them $$ (so not impressed with them personally). At least the liberals I can actually get behind :) 
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    "I was so inspired by your generous wedding gift, I think I'll reciprocate with future gifts for you! I'm beginning with a donation to the Liberal Party in your name."

    Anniversary

    kwiksilvercharlotte989875justsie

  • MobKaz said:



    banana468 said:


    If she mentioned it in passing I wouldn't consider writing a TY note.

    But it sounds like she wrote out that it's her gift to you so just take the time and write what @CMGragain said.  

    Now isn't the time to teach auntie about what a gift is supposed to be.   Maybe for Christmas you can tell her that her gift is that you've donated to a charity.  ;-) 




    This was my first thought as well.  Her "gesture" is like donating to a charity, but wanting the recognition of her "good deed". 


    It's like the charity favours debate in reverse
    MobKaz




  • banana468 said:


    If she mentioned it in passing I wouldn't consider writing a TY note.

    But it sounds like she wrote out that it's her gift to you so just take the time and write what @CMGragain said.  

    Now isn't the time to teach auntie about what a gift is supposed to be.   Maybe for Christmas you can tell her that her gift is that you've donated to a charity.  ;-) 




    Ha Ha Ha love it "Merry Christmas Aunty, my gift to you is a sizeable donation to the Liberal party" (she would flip, my family is super conservative all the way. They are so jealous that America has Trump and we are "stuck" with a liberal government here)



    You could also give her a dictionary for Xmas with the definition for "gift" highlighted and a bookmark in that page, lol.

    But seriously, I agree with most of the other PPs.  Even though it isn't a gift to you and your H, I'd still send a ty note for family accord since SHE seems to think it is a gift.  If it hadn't been for her writing something like that in your all's card, it would never have occurred to me to write a TY.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    InLoveInQueens
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    I agree with PPs that this sounds more like someone patting themselves on the back about how generous, charitable, helpful, etc. they are than a real gift to you.

    But I like @CMGragain's response, so I'd send her the note.
  • I like CMGragain's wording, it just states it was 'kind' and thanks her for her attendance, it's perfect!  
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards