Second Weddings

2nd wedding family being weird?

i got engaged 1 month ago. My parents support it as my fiancée asked my dad for his approval. This is my 2nd marriage and his first. We are so excited to have our life's together forever. I have noticed lately when I talk the wedding with my parents and even my cousins and family they seem weird about it. Not excited, they don't ask me how it's going or anything. When I around them it's like no one wants to talk about it. I'm the first one in the entire family to get divorced and remarried. It makes me uneasy being around them as I don't know what to say. I have nightmares that no one will come from my side of the family to the big day. Even my mom when I told her we booked our venue and other details her responsss are "oh nice" then changes the subject. Did anyone else have weird family feelings and moments like this with theirs? 

Re: 2nd wedding family being weird?

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    keriann23 said:
    i got engaged 1 month ago. My parents support it as my fiancée asked my dad for his approval. This is my 2nd marriage and his first. We are so excited to have our life's together forever. I have noticed lately when I talk the wedding with my parents and even my cousins and family they seem weird about it. Not excited, they don't ask me how it's going or anything. When I around them it's like no one wants to talk about it. I'm the first one in the entire family to get divorced and remarried. It makes me uneasy being around them as I don't know what to say. I have nightmares that no one will come from my side of the family to the big day. Even my mom when I told her we booked our venue and other details her responsss are "oh nice" then changes the subject. Did anyone else have weird family feelings and moments like this with theirs? 
    Were they really into the wedding the first time around? Some people aren't into wedding details. I'm actually one of them. I like helping people treat their guests well, and sort through sticky situations, but on the whole I really don't care about what your venue looks like or if you're at the "picking out flowers" stage, no matter if you're friend or family. They may just be like this. I think worrying about whether they'll even come is projecting a little too far.

    Anniversary

  • Yes they were all very involved. My parents were always first in line asking questions and coming to things. My cousins the same. That's what's weird 
  • ernursejernursej
    Tenth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member

    You could consider having a private conversation with your parents about their reaction and finding out if there is anything that is concerning them. Outside of that, just enjoy being engaged and try to step past it.

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown
    Moderator 5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    mod
    They might just be over it. They already did all
    this once with you. And they might just not be interested in a redo. Doesn't mean they don't support the marriage or want to attend!
    This.

    When I got engaged the second time around, people definitely paid less attention to anything having to do with any type of wedding. It's not that they weren't happy for us, but it wasn't a "first" and they knew we would most likely not have a traditional wedding. In fact, when we did announce we were married, some people were surprised because they thought we had already gotten married and just never announced it. LOL Anyway, we got a ton of well wishes and positive reactions to the engagement/wedding, but no one really ever asked questions about it. 

     







  • MircakesMircakes
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    You have to remember that nobody is as excited for your wedding as you (and your FH) are, and this is probably especially true for a second marriage. Your family was already really involved in your first marriage, and they probably got it "out of their system," so to say. So I'd bet that this time they are happy and excited for you, but simply not as much because they have done this before. 


    InLoveInQueensCMGragain
  • Not everyone is excited about weddings.  When I was planning mine, both my sister and my mother were in the process of being divorced.  Nobody wanted to talk about my wedding.
    You are lucky.  You can come here and gush about your wedding, and we will listen.  We will also give you advice.  Some of it you might not like, but it will be true and honest advice.
    Best wishes for your upcoming marriage.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    It may just be that when you got married, they were weddinged-out. You say that they gave you a lot of attention and support at that time, which turned out to be for a marriage that didn't last.

    Also, is anything else going on with them, whether positive or negative, that might require more of their focus?

    For example, both my parents have been diagnosed with cancer and both have other health issues and things on their mind. If I were to announce that I was engaged, I think they would be happy for me but probably wouldn't care too much about the fine details. Under the circumstances, I'd be happy for them just to show up.
  • Who cares if they don't want to talk about flowers and DJs and menu choices? 

    You've said they're supportive and happy for you about the important part - the fact that you're getting married to this man. 

    Try to keep in mind what is actually important about all this...the union. The party is icing on the cake. And if they aren't really interested in talking about party planning, oh well. Find someone who is - wedding forums are good for that!
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    InLoveInQueens
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