Snarky Brides

"Being a bridesmaid is a job and you should just shut up and do your job."

Re: "Being a bridesmaid is a job and you should just shut up and do your job."

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
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    A bridezilla can't give advice about bridezillas. Clearly. 


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    mollybarker11Knottie737c32aade6d0ff7Heffalump
  • The Wedding Industrial Complex she talks about is weird and awful. Weddings are not weird by default and planning them is not awful by default.

    Succumbing to the ridiculous expectations that the industry puts on brides is sad, but not excusable for anyone with an ounce of critical thinking skills and friends good enough to keep them in check.

  • Honestly, the expectations that people things wedding party should have is ridiculous. Unless they say right at the beginning they are available if you need help {not them to do it any your bridal ass sits on her ass} that's another thing.

    When planning a wedding, I ended up asking a couple of my BM's to help with small things {"hey I'm picking X thing up, want to join?" or "I'm doing this, shouldn't take long but are you able to help?"} and they were willing to help, but people can't expect people so say yes, all the time, every time or even ever!

    Expectations make people angry.
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    InLoveInQueens
  • I was with the author for most of her response.  But then she started with the "it's your job, do your job" nonsense.  I wouldn't tolerate a comment like, "Shut up and do your job," from my REAL job.  The one I actually get paid money to do.

    Then I read in the author's bio that she went on 71 internet dates...and wrote about them.  71 internet dates?  Really?  Wow.  She must be even worse in person than her writing makes her sound, lol.

    I went on a lot of internet dates myself in my single days.  How many?  I couldn't tell you, because I didn't tally them like a weirdo.  Over an entire year, 71 internet dates would be going on a date with a totally new person every 5 days.  Maybe her time period was longer (or shorter, shudder).  That is a relentless amount of smiling and "tell me about yourself" for a normal person to tolerate. 

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  • MCmeowMCmeow
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    Wtf kind of advice is this?
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  • Dana Norris seems totally unhinged in this response. Obviously LW struck a chord. I think this is the only thing I agreed with (and I even had to edit THAT): 

    "A wedding is an enormous celebration thrown by people who usually have zero experience planning huge celebrations, who are then responsible for not only ensuring that the day goes perfectly and everyone has a great time, but also that they experience what we demand must be the best day of their lives. Weddings are logistical nightmares where novices are in charge and everyone is looking."

    But to TDLR; her ranting and raving (because apparently she freaked out planning her own wedding and also has super tightly wound, unhinged friends):

    "The wedding industry and sexism MAKE women plan their weddings with no help from their useless men (do gay men not have receptions? do gay women have twice the party? who cares because heteronormative perspective onlyyyy!!!). It's acceptable to treat best friends like shit and make them spend more money than they have so that the bride can be a sucker to wedding industry marketing. Prioritizing a party over your friends is normal because fitting in and inability to think for oneself on what is truly important in one's life. But omg my flowers were perf!"

    I needed a margarita after just reading her response. 
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  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp East Hanover, NJ
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    Omg, no.
    TrixieJess
  • So it sounds like the article was written by a woman who is still bitter that her now-husband didn't help with planning their wedding by her stereotypical generalizations. There are some husbands who WANT to be a part of the wedding planning and are excited about it. And of course there are some men who don't want to be a part of every little detail. There are some brides who dream of every little detail and had their wedding planned since they were little, and there are some brides who just aren't into it. 

    And do women even wear pantyhose/nylons anymore... especially assuming these women are younger? I don't mean tights (thicker, opaque) like women wear in the fall with a skirt and boots. I do see women wear thin, sheer, black nylons with black cocktail dresses, but that's the only time. I don't remember any bridal party I have ever been to wearing pantyhose.
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  • So it sounds like the article was written by a woman who is still bitter that her now-husband didn't help with planning their wedding by her stereotypical generalizations. There are some husbands who WANT to be a part of the wedding planning and are excited about it. And of course there are some men who don't want to be a part of every little detail. There are some brides who dream of every little detail and had their wedding planned since they were little, and there are some brides who just aren't into it. 

    And do women even wear pantyhose/nylons anymore... especially assuming these women are younger? I don't mean tights (thicker, opaque) like women wear in the fall with a skirt and boots. I do see women wear thin, sheer, black nylons with black cocktail dresses, but that's the only time. I don't remember any bridal party I have ever been to wearing pantyhose.
    It always astounds me when brides demand specific shoes/legwear because of things they see on Pinterest.  I just had a MOH, and I'm pretty sure she wore something on her feet.  I mean, it would have been dangerous to go barefoot at the venue, and health and safety laws, etc, but I doubt SHE even remembers what she wore.  And she helped out a lot, because she loves weddings, but we were also both super busy adults, so we didn't really see each other more often than we would of had I not been engaged at the time.  If I'd started TELLING her to do stuff, I'm pretty sure she would have smacked me into next week.  
  • So it sounds like the article was written by a woman who is still bitter that her now-husband didn't help with planning their wedding by her stereotypical generalizations. There are some husbands who WANT to be a part of the wedding planning and are excited about it. And of course there are some men who don't want to be a part of every little detail. There are some brides who dream of every little detail and had their wedding planned since they were little, and there are some brides who just aren't into it. 

    And do women even wear pantyhose/nylons anymore... especially assuming these women are younger? I don't mean tights (thicker, opaque) like women wear in the fall with a skirt and boots. I do see women wear thin, sheer, black nylons with black cocktail dresses, but that's the only time. I don't remember any bridal party I have ever been to wearing pantyhose.
    For clarity, in an early spring wedding I opted to wear nylons. I wore the thin kind when I should have been wearing thicker kind. The weather was not as warm as we'd hoped :(
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  • edited July 21
    I hated planning the wedding. It sucked. It was terrible. And I wish we had eloped. 

    I never once talked to my friends like that, treated my friends like they ere employees, or cared what they wore under their dresses. 
    redwoodoriginalSP29cupcait927
  • redoryxredoryx
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    edited July 21
    So it sounds like the article was written by a woman who is still bitter that her now-husband didn't help with planning their wedding by her stereotypical generalizations. There are some husbands who WANT to be a part of the wedding planning and are excited about it. And of course there are some men who don't want to be a part of every little detail. There are some brides who dream of every little detail and had their wedding planned since they were little, and there are some brides who just aren't into it. 

    And do women even wear pantyhose/nylons anymore... especially assuming these women are younger? I don't mean tights (thicker, opaque) like women wear in the fall with a skirt and boots. I do see women wear thin, sheer, black nylons with black cocktail dresses, but that's the only time. I don't remember any bridal party I have ever been to wearing pantyhose.
    I'm one of these brides. It drives our moms bonkers. We have a "Things We Give a Fuck About" list and a "Things We Don't Give A Fuck About" list. Honestly, FI cares more about certain things than I do. He picked our colors, for instance. 

    But yes, I have had to get pantyhose maybe eight years ago and we were wearing the WORST shoes: strappy stilletos with an open toe. But the brides grandmother insisted on pantyhose, which thankfully the brides mother paid for, but that meant having to tell her "Oh, I'm fat. Get me the Queen size." smh. 

    The brides's sister and I also had to cover our tattoos because we can't scandalize grandma. ::eyeroll:: At that time, yes, I did "shut up and do my job" because I was young and didn't know any better.
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  • I needed a margarita after just reading her response. 
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    Saving the heck out of this Aziz gif. Going to come in handy, I'm sure.

  • redoryx said:

    I'm one of these brides. It drives our moms bonkers. We have a "Things We Give a Fuck About" list and a "Things We Don't Give A Fuck About" list. Honestly, FI cares more about certain things than I do. He picked our colors, for instance. 

    But yes, I have had to get pantyhose maybe eight years ago and we were wearing the WORST shoes: strappy stilletos with an open toe. But the brides grandmother insisted on pantyhose, which thankfully the brides mother paid for, but that meant having to tell her "Oh, I'm fat. Get me the Queen size." smh. 

    The brides's sister and I also had to cover our tattoos because we can't scandalize grandma. ::eyeroll:: At that time, yes, I did "shut up and do my job" because I was young and didn't know any better.
    I love this! :) 
    redoryx
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
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    On the secondary topic of pantyhose... On very rare occasions I still wear them, and I'm 34. I also wear slips under all my dresses. One of my 60 year old coworkers called me the oldest young person she knows, haha. 
    The last time I wore hose was my wedding day, because well honestly, sweaty feet in leather shoes isn't comfortable. The hose makes the shoes feel better. And slips? I'd rather risk my skirt hiking up and showing a slip than my actual underwear. And, the slip prevents skirt wedgies. #practical

    Should a bride dictate undergarments including hose? Heck no. One of my BMs did wear hose, the others didn't. For her, she doesn't like the veins on her legs, so, her choice. 
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    short+sassy
  • On the secondary topic of pantyhose... On very rare occasions I still wear them, and I'm 34. I also wear slips under all my dresses. One of my 60 year old coworkers called me the oldest young person she knows, haha. 
    The last time I wore hose was my wedding day, because well honestly, sweaty feet in leather shoes isn't comfortable. The hose makes the shoes feel better. And slips? I'd rather risk my skirt hiking up and showing a slip than my actual underwear. And, the slip prevents skirt wedgies. #practical

    Should a bride dictate undergarments including hose? Heck no. One of my BMs did wear hose, the others didn't. For her, she doesn't like the veins on her legs, so, her choice. 

    I am giving no side-eye to your practicality, lol.  However it does remind me.

    When my sister was getting married, my grandma insisted I wear a slip under my skirt.  It was fairly long, almost ankle length, and was not the least bit see through.  However, she was clutching her pearls I wasn't planning to wear a slip under my skirt for a nice event, lol.  So I did.  It was a small thing to do to make grandma happy, but I did inwardly chuckle about it.

    I still wear pantyhose sometimes.  But it is fairly rare, nowadays.  Usually just if my H and I are going out somewhere fancy and I have a cocktail or nice dress on.  I also wear them on interviews, if my suit has a skirt.  Knee highs if my suit has pants.  I didn't wear pantyhose for my wedding, but my dress was long and my shoes were dressy, open toed sandals.

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  • @thisismynickname2
    Totally agree on wearing slips whenever skirts/dresses are not lined or are a bit see through. And yes, I understand some women wear nylons because they don't like their legs, but I just found it odd that a bride would say all the BMs must wear nylons because it's not that common/popular anymore. I will wear black nylons under formal evening dresses, but that's it. I never liked wearing nylons so I was happy when they died out. ha ha :) I'm 40 and I know I have some veins, but at this point they don't bother me enough to go back to nylons. 
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