Tuesday?

apollymi

@CharmedPam  Eek, hate those situations. You could always bring it up in a non-confrontational, but direct way:

"Hey friend, were you able to paypal that money to me? I haven't received anything yet."

short+sassy

MissKittyDanger said:

@short+sassy  Yes! I heard about the human trials! This makes me soooo hopeful! M's family - both sides - have diabetes and he's so far not an issue, but it's always a chance. But the human trials could help so many, and I so hope it works.

You're probably talking about Type II Diabetes.  The trials are only a vaccine for Type I Diabetes.  Despite the annoyingly similar name lol, they are different conditions with different causes and different treatments.  As such, the vaccine would only help Type 1ers.

For anyone interested, here's why:

In a nutshell, Type I Diabetes is when a person's immune system attacks the beta cells of their pancreas.  Beta cells produce insulin so, when they're destroyed, no more insulin is made.  Although doctors know how it happens, it's been a mystery as to WHY it happens.  The Danes have been researching for the last 25 years that they believe those initial attacks are caused by specific viruses.  The thinking is...if they create a vaccine for those viruses, then the trigger that causes some people's beta cells to be destroyed, won't happen.  So Type I Diabetes won't happen...or will be greatly decreased.

Type II Diabetes, which is what 90-95% of people have, has totally different causes.  Most Type II Diabetics produce enough insulin, but their body doesn't use it effectively.  Type II Diabetes is very genetic, whereas Type I usually is not.

M is probably too old for Type I.  The onset is usually in childhood.  Though I was 20 when I was diagnosed and I know someone else who was 35.  But we were unusually old for a Type I onset. 

Of course, the more vaccines in the world to stop illnesses and medical conditions the better.  80,000 people/year throughout the world are diagnosed with Type I Diabetes.  But my beta cells were destroyed a long time ago, so a vaccine is too late for me. 

levioosa

@MissKittyDanger I am so sorry for your loss. 

@sparklepants41 sending you good vibes for you and baby!

I'm finally free! I just finished six straight days of work. It was awful.  Between my dad's stuff, the dog being put down, six days of work, the house being a hot mess, and getting sick I finally had a meltdown on Sunday night when I realized I forgot to turn in an assignment. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. So last night I scheduled a massage for today. 

Good news though. My dad met with the cardiologist again yesterday and they said he didn't have a silent MI after all.  They're still pretty concerned, but at least he didn't have a heart attack. 

Otherwise, I have to clean the house, do the laundry that is two weeks overdue, and complete the giant study guide for my final. I kind of just want to lounge...but life goes on.  

MissKittyDanger

@short+sassy  my ex and M's stepbrother are/were childhood diabetic. I figure if they can figure out Type 1, then they'll have more ideas about type 2
We can only hope I guess

short+sassy

@CharmedPam, unfortunately I've been there.  Twice.  Though both times for a lot less than what you are talking about.  One friend finally ended up paying me ($50), the other did not ($60).

I would keep reminding her.  Once every week or two.  Because I'm a b**ch like that, lol.  In this context, I mean that as a compliment.  You made her life a lot easier.  And now she is being a deadbeat.  You can still be nice and polite, of course, but...No. Nah-no.  Nah-no.

Some suggestions:

• Tell her your credit card bill is coming due again on X date and these charges are still on there.  How much can she give you toward your debt?  Use that assumptive phrase that she will be giving you something.
• Remind her she promised X, but X did not happen.
• Ask if she needs to break it up in 2-3 payments.  Expressing concern you haven't received ANYTHING and were worried she felt she had to pay her debt all at once.

Because it doesn't matter if you are a billionaire and she is a pauper.  If she promised to pay something...and your response was, "Great!" (not, "oh don't worry about it")...than she owes you the money.  Period.  Don't feel bad about it and don't feel bad to ask her.

I'm a daytime court show addict and you have hit on such a pet peeve of mine.  I just don't understand or respect people who will borrow money from a friend or family member or have them pay for something for them.  And then not pay it back.  Or act like there was some "misunderstanding" and it was a gift.

Like, if my sister gave me $300 to help me pay my mortgage.  And I legitimately thought it was a gift.  But then she asked me for the money back.  I would be falling all over myself apologizing, because I'd thought she'd meant it as a gift, but now that I know it isn't, I will pay $X on Y, Z dates.

Sorry for my tangent rant, lol. 

short+sassy

@levioosa, I'm glad you finally made it through!  I know it's been a tough week for you.  It is annoying when what you really need to do is relax...but you need to make up for lost time with studying and housework.  Ugh!

charlotte989875

@levioosa, you enjoy all of that massage and follow up with your adult beverage of choice. You deserve it!

All the thoughts and vibes to @MissKittyDanger, feel all the things; remember you're entitled to feel whatever you do feel regardless of whether other people "get it". 

CharmedPam

short+sassy said:

@CharmedPam, unfortunately I've been there.  Twice.  Though both times for a lot less than what you are talking about.  One friend finally ended up paying me ($50), the other did not ($60).

I would keep reminding her.  Once every week or two.  Because I'm a b**ch like that, lol.  In this context, I mean that as a compliment.  You made her life a lot easier.  And now she is being a deadbeat.  You can still be nice and polite, of course, but...No. Nah-no.  Nah-no.

Some suggestions:

• Tell her your credit card bill is coming due again on X date and these charges are still on there.  How much can she give you toward your debt?  Use that assumptive phrase that she will be giving you something.
• Remind her she promised X, but X did not happen.
• Ask if she needs to break it up in 2-3 payments.  Expressing concern you haven't received ANYTHING and were worried she felt she had to pay her debt all at once.

Because it doesn't matter if you are a billionaire and she is a pauper.  If she promised to pay something...and your response was, "Great!" (not, "oh don't worry about it")...than she owes you the money.  Period.  Don't feel bad about it and don't feel bad to ask her.

I'm a daytime court show addict and you have hit on such a pet peeve of mine.  I just don't understand or respect people who will borrow money from a friend or family member or have them pay for something for them.  And then not pay it back.  Or act like there was some "misunderstanding" and it was a gift.

Like, if my sister gave me $300 to help me pay my mortgage.  And I legitimately thought it was a gift.  But then she asked me for the money back.  I would be falling all over myself apologizing, because I'd thought she'd meant it as a gift, but now that I know it isn't, I will pay $X on Y, Z dates.

Sorry for my tangent rant, lol. 

I agree!  it's a pet peeve of mine too. I just had to help my H, who is also a landlord, and type up a letter because his tenants were getting behind in payments too (another story, another day!) and I'm like...damn. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't demand my own money too!  I'm going to use the cc angle. I'm sure she just forgot!  I would never be so lucky to "forget" anything I owe. 

levioosa

short+sassy said:

@CharmedPam, unfortunately I've been there.  Twice.  Though both times for a lot less than what you are talking about.  One friend finally ended up paying me ($50), the other did not ($60).

I would keep reminding her.  Once every week or two.  Because I'm a b**ch like that, lol.  In this context, I mean that as a compliment.  You made her life a lot easier.  And now she is being a deadbeat.  You can still be nice and polite, of course, but...No. Nah-no.  Nah-no.

Some suggestions:

• Tell her your credit card bill is coming due again on X date and these charges are still on there.  How much can she give you toward your debt?  Use that assumptive phrase that she will be giving you something.
• Remind her she promised X, but X did not happen.
• Ask if she needs to break it up in 2-3 payments.  Expressing concern you haven't received ANYTHING and were worried she felt she had to pay her debt all at once.

Because it doesn't matter if you are a billionaire and she is a pauper.  If she promised to pay something...and your response was, "Great!" (not, "oh don't worry about it")...than she owes you the money.  Period.  Don't feel bad about it and don't feel bad to ask her.

I'm a daytime court show addict and you have hit on such a pet peeve of mine.  I just don't understand or respect people who will borrow money from a friend or family member or have them pay for something for them.  And then not pay it back.  Or act like there was some "misunderstanding" and it was a gift.

Like, if my sister gave me $300 to help me pay my mortgage.  And I legitimately thought it was a gift.  But then she asked me for the money back.  I would be falling all over myself apologizing, because I'd thought she'd meant it as a gift, but now that I know it isn't, I will pay $X on Y, Z dates.

Sorry for my tangent rant, lol. 

I always tell people (SO mostly), if you "lend" money to people, pretty much count it as a gift because most likely you're not getting it back. SO used to be very generous, but he kept getting burned, especially where his family was concerned. He stopped lending them money. I personally never lend anyone money that I'm uncomfortable knowing I will never get back. I also don't offer to split costs or cover people who consistently just take it without any reciprocation. I'm not a "tit for tat" counter of favors, but if we go out to lunch and every time you "forget" your wallet, or want to split a bill when you had five drinks and a steak and I had one drink and a salad, I'm done. We can go out, we can still be friends, but hell no am I covering anything else for you. 

I also took a loan out from my grandmother when I was 18 and she made me sign legal documents with a payment plan and penalties...so that's how I grew up. haha

CharmedPam

levioosa said:

I also took a loan out from my grandmother when I was 18 and she made me sign legal documents with a payment plan and penalties...so that's how I grew up. haha

Love it! haha.  I mean I could walk away from it, but it would be nice to get some costs back.  The wedding was expensive enough!

short+sassy

MissKittyDanger said:

@short+sassy  my ex and M's stepbrother are/were childhood diabetic. I figure if they can figure out Type 1, then they'll have more ideas about type 2
We can only hope I guess

True!  There are probably a million people diagnosed with Type II every year (worldwide).  It's a huge drain on healthcare systems.  And not so great for the people who suffer from it either, of course.

We can always hope!  But Type I is pretty straightforward and they haven't been able to anything but treat the symptoms in 100 years.  Type II has always struck me as having a lot more "pieces" and "factors" and being a more complicated disease.  At least as far as a cure...or vaccine...would be concerned.

When Dr. Banting and Charles Best...Canadians, btw ...invented insulin to be taken externally, they originally thought it would be a cure for Type I.  That it would "jumpstart" the beta cells to produce insulin again.  Alas, not the case.  But at least it was no longer a terminal disease.  And for that, they get a big thanks from me!  They also won the Nobel Prize for Medicene for their work. 

levioosa

CharmedPam said:

levioosa said:

I also took a loan out from my grandmother when I was 18 and she made me sign legal documents with a payment plan and penalties...so that's how I grew up. haha

Love it! haha.  I mean I could walk away from it, but it would be nice to get some costs back.  The wedding was expensive enough!

Just because you would have "spent the money anyways" doesn't mean she doesn't have to pay her half. Man, I am so glad the next wedding I'm going to is close. And we'll be splitting uber between four of us so we can enjoy the cash bar reception and drinking during the 3 hour gap. 

short+sassy

levioosa said:

I always tell people (SO mostly), if you "lend" money to people, pretty much count it as a gift because most likely you're not getting it back. SO used to be very generous, but he kept getting burned, especially where his family was concerned. He stopped lending them money. I personally never lend anyone money that I'm uncomfortable knowing I will never get back. I also don't offer to split costs or cover people who consistently just take it without any reciprocation. I'm not a "tit for tat" counter of favors, but if we go out to lunch and every time you "forget" your wallet, or want to split a bill when you had five drinks and a steak and I had one drink and a salad, I'm done. We can go out, we can still be friends, but hell no am I covering anything else for you. 

I also took a loan out from my grandmother when I was 18 and she made me sign legal documents with a payment plan and penalties...so that's how I grew up. haha

I am ALL about legal documents and a payment plan.  No matter which "side" of the transaction I am on.  To me, it's almost MORE important to have those agreements spelled out when it is friends or family.  Because it isn't just money...but a relationship at stake if there is a misunderstanding.

I think I missed my calling as a lawyer, lol.  My H, but then b/f, loaned me a few thousand dollars shortly after I bought my house.  I wrote out a two-page contract spelling out the payment terms.  I included "what if" clauses, ie what would happen to the loan if either of us died, what would happen to the loan if we broke up, etc.

I also borrowed a big chunk of change from my mom and stepdad for my down payment.  It was two separate loans and I wrote two separate (but similar) contracts.  They didn't require me to do that and were way more "whatever" about the terms.  But it made me feel better to show them, in black and white, my exact intentions for paying them back.  The terms with them were for 5 years.  But I got a HELOC 18 months later and paid back the balances because I just feel bad owing loved ones money.

levioosa

short+sassy said:

levioosa said:

I always tell people (SO mostly), if you "lend" money to people, pretty much count it as a gift because most likely you're not getting it back. SO used to be very generous, but he kept getting burned, especially where his family was concerned. He stopped lending them money. I personally never lend anyone money that I'm uncomfortable knowing I will never get back. I also don't offer to split costs or cover people who consistently just take it without any reciprocation. I'm not a "tit for tat" counter of favors, but if we go out to lunch and every time you "forget" your wallet, or want to split a bill when you had five drinks and a steak and I had one drink and a salad, I'm done. We can go out, we can still be friends, but hell no am I covering anything else for you. 

I also took a loan out from my grandmother when I was 18 and she made me sign legal documents with a payment plan and penalties...so that's how I grew up. haha

I am ALL about legal documents and a payment plan.  No matter which "side" of the transaction I am on.  To me, it's almost MORE important to have those agreements spelled out when it is friends or family.  Because it isn't just money...but a relationship at stake if there is a misunderstanding.

I think I missed my calling as a lawyer, lol.  My H, but then b/f, loaned me a few thousand dollars shortly after I bought my house.  I wrote out a two-page contract spelling out the payment terms.  I included "what if" clauses, ie what would happen to the loan if either of us died, what would happen to the loan if we broke up, etc.

I also borrowed a big chunk of change from my mom and stepdad for my down payment.  It was two separate loans and I wrote two separate (but similar) contracts.  They didn't require me to do that and were way more "whatever" about the terms.  But it made me feel better to show them, in black and white, my exact intentions for paying them back.  The terms with them were for 5 years.  But I got a HELOC 18 months later and paid back the balances because I just feel bad owing loved ones money.

I had SO write out a legal document and payment plan when he loaned a few grand to his sister. And knowing her track record I told him to be okay with the fact that she probably wouldn't pay it back. Surprisingly she did. She was kind of late with the last few payments, but she ended up completing them. I think it was the payment plan and penalties that did it. No one expected SO to do that. And no one has asked him for money since. haha

short+sassy

CharmedPam said:

I agree!  it's a pet peeve of mine too. I just had to help my H, who is also a landlord, and type up a letter because his tenants were getting behind in payments too (another story, another day!) and I'm like...damn. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't demand my own money too!  I'm going to use the cc angle. I'm sure she just forgot!  I would never be so lucky to "forget" anything I owe. 

By "letter", I hope you mean a 3-day or 5-day (whichever is required) Pay or Quit Notice to post on their door .  People either "magically" come up with the money quick...or its the first step anyway toward cutting your losses in what has turned out to be a bad situation.