Destination Weddings

Did I spend too much on DW?

So my fiance and I decided to have a small DW in Okinawa Japan this coming September , we found this beautiful white chapel by the sea, it looks gorgeous and it's everything I wanted for my wedding, and the wedding package they offered us includes almost everything I need. The payment was due  prior to the wedding, so we paid the balance last week. But right after we paid the balance,

my mom asked me how much we spent on the wedding, I told her the amount we paid (maybe that was a bad idea, I should've told her a different number...) She screamed and yelled at me saying that we paid too much for a wedding. But seriously? really? I did my research before booking the venue,  can anyone with DW experience tell me if we overpay too much?

My package includes wedding chapel usage, pastor, singer, pianist, coorditor, translator, chapel flower decoration, wedding photographer, wedding viddeographer, makeup & hairstyling, bouquet & boutonniere, toasting Champaign and flower shower petals. And the price is USD5,985. Did I really overpay for all these?

Re: Did I spend too much on DW?

  • That's a lot of money to pay just for a ceremony, but if you have the money to spend why not? You'll still need to pay for a reception for everyone attending on top of this package. 
    climbingwifeeileenrob
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Can you afford what you paid and are you happy with what you're receiving for what you paid??  If yes, then you're fine. If no, then you overpaid. Your Mom will potentially have a different opinion on those numbers than you will
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    InLoveInQueensSTARMOON44mollybarker11
  • You ought to have just told her her, "We are happy with what we paid and can afford it. It's going to be beautiful!" and then changed the subject. But you can't go back and change your answer now. You can still tell her it's within your means (as long as it really is, which it sounds like it was not a financial hardship for you) and none of her business what you choose to spend your money on.

    Are you inviting guests to your DW or is it just the two of you? I notice your price does not seem to include any sort of reception, so I guess this is just for the ceremony. I'm sure you already know this, but if anyone comes to your wedding in Japan, you'll need to at least buy them a meal.
    image
    southernbelle0915OliveOilsMommollybarker11
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    That chapel is incredible. Nothing to add as the advice above is spot-on. Just... wow. 
    ________________________________


    short+sassy
  • That picture is breathtaking!! Weddings in general can be expensive, especially if in another country. Like pp's said, how much you pay is subjective. I would consider paying that much if it's what I wanted and I could afford it. My wedding dress with alterations cost $1530, someone else might think I paid too much. But it's what I wanted. What I decided to do for my wedding was splurge on the most important to me things and other things like centerpieces to diy. I mean does anyone really remember what the centerpieces looked like at someone else's wedding
  • ahoyweddingahoywedding
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    member
    edited July 28
    Wow!! That's gorgeous! I don't think $6K is terrible honestly, as long as it fits in your budget & you have money left to properly host your guest at the reception. 
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    That includes a lot so I don't think it's too much, especially if it's in your budget. There were venues here in Oklahoma that offered less for more money. 
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown
    Moderator 5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    mod
    Agree with pps- if you can afford it, and covered the fee on your own, then by all means, do what you want! 

    FWIW, I spent almost as much as that just on my photography (package and transportation) for a 2 person DW. So, that does not seem unreasonable at all. 

     







  • Did you actually get married in Japan?  Or was this a "symbolic" ceremony?  This would make a difference for me.  A true destination wedding is fine, and the amount you spend on it is totally up to you!  A non-wedding is not something that I would attend, and I think money spent of them is frivolous.
    In any case, congratulations on your marriage.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • justsiejustsie
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    CMGragain said:
    Did you actually get married in Japan?  Or was this a "symbolic" ceremony?  This would make a difference for me.  A true destination wedding is fine, and the amount you spend on it is totally up to you!  A non-wedding is not something that I would attend, and I think money spent of them is frivolous.
    In any case, congratulations on your marriage.
    OP isn't married yet, she states that it set to happen in September, the payment was just due this past week. 
    image
    charlotte989875
  • Your venue is beautiful.  It along with photography, videography, flowers, pastor, ceremony music, hair & MU all for $6000 is a steal IMO.  That said, if it's your money, and it isn't your mother or anyone else's business how you spend it (as long as you still have enough money in your budget to spend on a nice amount of food and drinks for all of the guests who've traveled to attend your wedding).
    DrillSergeantCat
  • That is a magnificent venue! As for whether you spent too much, if it is your money that's going toward the wedding and you aren't expecting anyone else to help you pay for it, then it's nobody else's business. Do keep in mind that you have to pay for some sort of reception after the ceremony - I don't see that what you've paid so far includes anything like that. 

    Anyway, I do think that, because your wedding is overseas and in such a beautiful venue, you probably haven't heard the last of the "how much did it cost" questions. Yes, it's rude, but that's how people can be. From now on, you need to find a way to (politely) let people know that it was within your means and that the exact cost is your business and your business alone. 
    image
    mollybarker11
  • So my fiance and I decided to have a small DW in Okinawa Japan this coming September , we found this beautiful white chapel by the sea, it looks gorgeous and it's everything I wanted for my wedding, and the wedding package they offered us includes almost everything I need. The payment was due  prior to the wedding, so we paid the balance last week. But right after we paid the balance,

    my mom asked me how much we spent on the wedding, I told her the amount we paid (maybe that was a bad idea, I should've told her a different number...) She screamed and yelled at me saying that we paid too much for a wedding. But seriously? really? I did my research before booking the venue,  can anyone with DW experience tell me if we overpay too much?

    My package includes wedding chapel usage, pastor, singer, pianist, coorditor, translator, chapel flower decoration, wedding photographer, wedding viddeographer, makeup & hairstyling, bouquet & boutonniere, toasting Champaign and flower shower petals. And the price is USD5,985. Did I really overpay for all these?

    I think it looks beautiful! It's only too much if it's more than your budget. Your reception sounds great.

    Curious to how many guests you have coming (and from where) and what your reasons were for choosing this location? I'm always interested to hear people's stories!
  • It does seem a bit odd that you are spending more on the ceremony than the reception, which usually is the majority of the budget. But  you are getting a fair amount for that money.
  • scribe95 said:
    It does seem a bit odd that you are spending more on the ceremony than the reception, which usually is the majority of the budget. But  you are getting a fair amount for that money.

    i think including the photog and videog really make the difference for me here. I feel like that's not normally thought of as part of the "ceremony" budget but kind of it's own thing.
    DrillSergeantCat
  • I wonder though if the photog and videographer just do the ceremony or also will document the reception?
  • scribe95 said:
    I wonder though if the photog and videographer just do the ceremony or also will document the reception?
    This is what I was going to ask. A photog and videographer for a full day could cost 6k so I was thinking you got a good deal - but are they just for the ceremony? 

    Weddings are really expensive - different things cost more in different places. For instance, I see people on here playing huge amounts for flowers, where as we're paying about 2500€ for ceremony decor, houppa constructed and flowers in/on it, reception decor for entrance and roof, background deco for our photo booth, tables with garlands and vase thingies, cocktail tables, bar arrangements, the bouquet for me and 6 bridesmaids. From what I've seen here that would have cost twice as much in the US but my dress cost 3100€ which I think is much more than is the US. So it can be different depending on where you do it.

    If you have the money, this is what you want, and it's not going to cause money issues for you then do it.

    Maybe explain that to you mum?

    I feel like the cost of the wedding (not flights hotel etc) seems super cheap to me.
  • we only invite 15 guests to our DW, and we got really good deal on the plane ticket from LAX (USD 255 per person). 

    the photographer & videographer are both included in their plan, I guess it is very different in Japan, because they have their in house photographer & videographer will record the ceremony for us (and banquet if we request), and I checked their sample photos & videos they all look great, so I thought I was getting a good deal since I don't have to pay any extra for photo, video, makeup, flower...etc. 

    mollybarker11
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