Ceremony and Vow Ideas

How to tell my dad that I want to walk down the aisle with my fiance?

I did not see a board about family drama in general, so hopefully it's okay to put this here.

So due to the fact that I have extreme anxiety associated with being the center of attention, my fiance and I have decided to walk down the aisle together after the flower girls. I also think it'd be a nice change from what I see as a really outdated tradition of "giving away" the bride. My dad and I do not have that great of a relationship in the first place, and he has also openly mocked and harassed me before either about or to provoke my anxiety on purpose, so he just would be a very stressful person (and at the very least, not calming) to share something like that with. 

How exactly do I break this to him that I want to walk with my fiance? I mean we don't have that great of a relationship but I think his feelings might be kinda hurt, because he thinks our relationship is much better than what it actually is. I don't really want to involve the anxiety part. But he is also the type of person who would openly mock the fact that I think the "giving away" is outdated and would probably make it into a huge political point. Like I can't win lol, I just want to have a reason that he will respect and as a result won't start any family drama. And if I can't have that, then I'd at least like to plan out a way to say these things in a way that is laying this topic down very very tenderly. Do you think it would help to also include any other plans we have to incorporate our parents in the ceremony (which we have not actually ironed out yet, I'm actually going to make another post about it)?

Thanks in advance!

Re: How to tell my dad that I want to walk down the aisle with my fiance?

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I think you just need to explain it to him and let the chips fall where they may. He could do a reading or if you are having a unity candle  he and your mother could light it together.

    Just a peeve of mine- it is aisle not isle.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    I actually just wouldn't bring it up unless he does. If that happens, I would tell him, "Dad, FI and I have decided to process down the aisle together."
    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueensmollybarker11
  • ILoveBeachMusic - I was wondering if that was the proper spelling hahaha.
  • I did not see a board about family drama in general, so hopefully it's okay to put this here.

    So due to the fact that I have extreme anxiety associated with being the center of attention, my fiance and I have decided to walk down the aisle together after the flower girls. I also think it'd be a nice change from what I see as a really outdated tradition of "giving away" the bride. My dad and I do not have that great of a relationship in the first place, and he has also openly mocked and harassed me before either about or to provoke my anxiety on purpose, so he just would be a very stressful person (and at the very least, not calming) to share something like that with. 

    How exactly do I break this to him that I want to walk with my fiance? I mean we don't have that great of a relationship but I think his feelings might be kinda hurt, because he thinks our relationship is much better than what it actually is. I don't really want to involve the anxiety part. But he is also the type of person who would openly mock the fact that I think the "giving away" is outdated and would probably make it into a huge political point. Like I can't win lol, I just want to have a reason that he will respect and as a result won't start any family drama. And if I can't have that, then I'd at least like to plan out a way to say these things in a way that is laying this topic down very very tenderly. Do you think it would help to also include any other plans we have to incorporate our parents in the ceremony (which we have not actually ironed out yet, I'm actually going to make another post about it)?

    Thanks in advance!
    Unfortunately it sounds like he won't respect whatever reason you give him; so I think you have two options either don't bring it up unless he does then simply say "FI and I have decided to process down the aisle together", or next time wedding talk comes up tell him there using the same straight forward language. Don't give him a reason, don't try and justify or explain it. If you have a relationship maybe tell him ahead of time, so if he does make a big deal of it it's not at or right before the wedding. 

    Just remeber this this is a choice you and your FI get to make, don't let anyone make you feel bad about choosing what's right for you. 
    DrillSergeantCatmollybarker11
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