Grab your ovaries and ask him what's up.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I’ve been dating a guy for about two months. Everything seemed to be going great. We’d already known one another for a few years, and I thought we knew each other pretty well. The last time I saw him, I spent the night at his home. The next day, I left to get ready for work and didn’t hear from him all day. The day after that, I sent him a link to an article I thought would interest him. He replied, “Crazy.” I agreed and mentioned something else I thought he would find interesting. He didn’t reply.

We haven’t communicated since then. (It’s been a week.) Since I’m the one who sent the last text, I’d say he’s the one ghosting me. But what if he thinks I’m ghosting him? Should I try a quick “Hey, how have you been,” wait it out, or assume this is over?

—Who’s Ghosting Whom?

DrillSergeantCat

I'd probably send one last text and if it's cold like the last one, assume it's over.

CharmedPam

I've assumed it's over.

southernbelle0915

God I'm glad I'm not still in my early 20s and dating.

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!? I'll never know because I can't/don't want to actually communicate.

Heffalump

I'm with DSC, one more text, and if that goes unanswered, I'm moving on.

MissKittyDanger

southernbelle0915 said:

God I'm glad I'm not still in my early 20s and dating.

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!? I'll never know because I can't/don't want to actually communicate.

I hated dating when I was dating and now it's just gotten so much more complicated .... guhh

charlotte989875

"Hey How's it going? Want to meet up sometime soon?" 

If yes; great keeping having fun. 

If no; move on. 

Seriosuly, this isn't rocket science. 

short+sassy

Overall, I agree with you all.  But when I was single, if I'd been regularly dating someone for two months and he suddenly disappeared, he doesn't get off quite that easy.  I'd leave a message.  Then leave another one a few days later that was more to the point of, "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a few days.  What's going on?"  If I was still ignored after a few days, I'd leave a rant about what a jerk he was.  It gave me closure.

When I was ghosted after less than a few dates, that's different.  There isn't the same level of "connection", for lack of a better word, and I don't care.  But usually, if we'd been seeing each other for two months, there would be at least a dozen dates involved and THAT deserves an explanation for ending things.

mrsconn23

short+sassy said:

Overall, I agree with you all.  But when I was single, if I'd been regularly dating someone for two months and he suddenly disappeared, he doesn't get off quite that easy.  I'd leave a message.  Then leave another one a few days later that was more to the point of, "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a few days.  What's going on?"  If I was still ignored after a few days, I'd leave a rant about what a jerk he was.  It gave me closure.

They were also friends for a few years before deciding to give dating a go, so that adds another layer to the situation.  Not cool on his part at all.  

I don't think it's out of line for LW to ask him if he just wants to be friends again...if he responds to contact.  

kimmiinthemitten

I'd text him.

And if he didn't answer I'd call him (and leave a voicemail when he didn't answer).

If that doesn't work, something must be wrong, so I'd wait at his house, and call his mom if he didn't come home on time.  What if there was a car accident!  Or a flood!

I can't believe you guys are all so quick to give up on him!  </s>

DrillSergeantCat

kimmiinthemitten said:

I'd text him.

And if he didn't answer I'd call him (and leave a voicemail when he didn't answer).

If that doesn't work, something must be wrong, so I'd wait at his house, and call his mom if he didn't come home on time.  What if there was a car accident!  Or a flood!

I can't believe you guys are all so quick to give up on him!  </s>

I just didn't feel like this was the time to be honest. 

kvruns

short+sassy said:

Overall, I agree with you all.  But when I was single, if I'd been regularly dating someone for two months and he suddenly disappeared, he doesn't get off quite that easy.  I'd leave a message.  Then leave another one a few days later that was more to the point of, "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a few days.  What's going on?"  If I was still ignored after a few days, I'd leave a rant about what a jerk he was.  It gave me closure.

When I was ghosted after less than a few dates, that's different.  There isn't the same level of "connection", for lack of a better word, and I don't care.  But usually, if we'd been seeing each other for two months, there would be at least a dozen dates involved and THAT deserves an explanation for ending things.

that's similar to what I had happen to me, and what I did. I dated this guy for a few months and then he just disappeared. I tried a couple of days and still no responses (he was mr text message before texting was even as prevalent as it is now). I finally just sent a long message saying well I hope you're ok and nothing is wrong but that it was crappy to just disappear, etc. I did hear from him like a week or two later and he basically said he had a lot going on blah blah blah. I didn't respond. I've run into him a few times since then (and he's dating someone I used to work with) and he acted like nothing weird had happened. 

southernbelle0915

kimmiinthemitten said:

I'd text him.

And if he didn't answer I'd call him (and leave a voicemail when he didn't answer).

If that doesn't work, something must be wrong, so I'd wait at his house, and call his mom if he didn't come home on time.  What if there was a car accident!  Or a flood!

I can't believe you guys are all so quick to give up on him!  </s>

Seriously! Maybe OP didn't say the right thing in her text. Maybe she should have used a different emoji. Maybe if she made a joke he'd text back. Maybe if she knocked on his door with puffy eyes and a box of tissue they could just talk it out!

short+sassy

kvruns said:

short+sassy said:

Overall, I agree with you all.  But when I was single, if I'd been regularly dating someone for two months and he suddenly disappeared, he doesn't get off quite that easy.  I'd leave a message.  Then leave another one a few days later that was more to the point of, "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a few days.  What's going on?"  If I was still ignored after a few days, I'd leave a rant about what a jerk he was.  It gave me closure.

When I was ghosted after less than a few dates, that's different.  There isn't the same level of "connection", for lack of a better word, and I don't care.  But usually, if we'd been seeing each other for two months, there would be at least a dozen dates involved and THAT deserves an explanation for ending things.

that's similar to what I had happen to me, and what I did. I dated this guy for a few months and then he just disappeared. I tried a couple of days and still no responses (he was mr text message before texting was even as prevalent as it is now). I finally just sent a long message saying well I hope you're ok and nothing is wrong but that it was crappy to just disappear, etc. I did hear from him like a week or two later and he basically said he had a lot going on blah blah blah. I didn't respond. I've run into him a few times since then (and he's dating someone I used to work with) and he acted like nothing weird had happened. 

I had a guy ghost me after a few dates.  NBD.  But then he saw my new profile when I put it on Yahoo, and messaged me something like, "No wonder you didn't want to go out with me anymore, I'm not (blank)."  I messaged him back and reminded him how things had played out.  We had a date.  He called to cancel because he wasn't feeling well.  I told him to call me and reschedule when he felt better.  Left him a message a few days later, asking how he was, if he wanted to schedule a rain check for that date.  He never contacted me.  Anyway, he was a seriously insecure dude and, despite my overtures felt I wasn't that into him.  Okey-doke, his loss.  We never dated again, but we did become friends after his IM and occasionally hung out.

But the really suck guy was someone I went out with 2-4x/week for about two months.  And then, out of nowhere, he refused to call me back or take my calls.  My last message to him was a long rant of how cruel and hurtful he was to just drop things without even a word to me.  TWO YEARS later, he sent me an e-mail apologizing for what an utter a** he had been.  That it had been a bad time for him, he had been going through a lot, he didn't want pull me into his "what am I going to do with my life" existential phase.  That he didn't know what to say to me, so he just didn't say anything and had always felt really bad he'd done that.

It certainly wasn't much of an excuse, lol.  But I did appreciate that he had (finally) owned up to his jerk behavior.