Moms and Maids

Issue with Bridesmaid about Dress

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Re: Issue with Bridesmaid about Dress

  • *face palm*
    I'm new to posting on forums and I seem to be making this worse by not explaining myself right. 

    back to what holyguacamole79 said
    "don't let your desire to have a wedding look a certain way interfere with your desire & intent to honor your sister's relationship with you."

    To be Very Very Clear... I was just trying to say, i don't care what they look like, fat/thin/whatever their external appearance it doesn't matter to me (and for the record i think they're all beautiful just as they are and want them to be happy and comfortable).
    I was just trying to make that point and say that i'm not looking for that uniform photo magazine bridesmaid collection that some people go for.
    My sisters weight whatever it may be doesn't matter to me in the slightest (big or small). Only that she's there to share the experience with me on the day. Can i also point out that we're very similar size 12 and 14.
    Of course just sending it back would be a dick move. Which is why i ordered another one before i sent it back.
    I did overreact a little initially with the original post but its not about the dress in reality (i'm pretty resourceful and you can always sort stuff like that out).

    I think its more about the way shes behaving (totally accept i'm also at fault here btw), she kicks off, and then says about wanting to spend time together but its only on her terms, she doesn't message me and this was really going to be the first wedding thing we've done together since i got engaged 8 months ago (as we don't talk about it). I did ask her to be a BM so we could share the experience together so i felt the first time i ask her when she's free to do something related to it i get a big knock back.

    I consider myself a pretty understanding and laid back person generally so i feel if can meet people half way or do anything to make things right i will but if they don't tell me whats wrong/going on i cant do much about it and this was pretty much the focus of our argument from my side.

    Feel like i'm getting quite the negative slap down in this thread thus far but i can see how it comes across badly in the original posts and try and take what people say on board.

    Its all just silliness really. 
    This is what I mean. Seriously, help the girl, don't freak out with your assumptions, judgments, and personal opinions. I'll probably get flayed for this, but honestly, you're not making new people feel welcome, nor are you giving constructive crit. If you need a clarification, that's fine, but don't throw assumptions. Forum writing is difficult, especially when new and especially when stressed!   Most of the comment responses I've been seeing in most of the threads I would NOT classify as "help". Just rude. Simmer down, now.
    Knottieb2a83aa7a3ef4427
  • OP, as clarification, the above was not directed at you. I'm sorry you're feeling the negative vibe in this group. I'm sorry you are feeling stressed about your sister. In my opinion, things will work out how they are supposed to. I find it works best to let them come to you. Maybe your sister needs space. I hope that it all works out.

    knottief16b91b9887217a6 said:
    *face palm*
    I'm new to posting on forums and I seem to be making this worse by not explaining myself right. 

    back to what holyguacamole79 said
    "don't let your desire to have a wedding look a certain way interfere with your desire & intent to honor your sister's relationship with you."

    To be Very Very Clear... I was just trying to say, i don't care what they look like, fat/thin/whatever their external appearance it doesn't matter to me (and for the record i think they're all beautiful just as they are and want them to be happy and comfortable).
    I was just trying to make that point and say that i'm not looking for that uniform photo magazine bridesmaid collection that some people go for.
    My sisters weight whatever it may be doesn't matter to me in the slightest (big or small). Only that she's there to share the experience with me on the day. Can i also point out that we're very similar size 12 and 14.
    Of course just sending it back would be a dick move. Which is why i ordered another one before i sent it back.
    I did overreact a little initially with the original post but its not about the dress in reality (i'm pretty resourceful and you can always sort stuff like that out).

    I think its more about the way shes behaving (totally accept i'm also at fault here btw), she kicks off, and then says about wanting to spend time together but its only on her terms, she doesn't message me and this was really going to be the first wedding thing we've done together since i got engaged 8 months ago (as we don't talk about it). I did ask her to be a BM so we could share the experience together so i felt the first time i ask her when she's free to do something related to it i get a big knock back.

    I consider myself a pretty understanding and laid back person generally so i feel if can meet people half way or do anything to make things right i will but if they don't tell me whats wrong/going on i cant do much about it and this was pretty much the focus of our argument from my side.

    Feel like i'm getting quite the negative slap down in this thread thus far but i can see how it comes across badly in the original posts and try and take what people say on board.

    Its all just silliness really. 
    This is what I mean. Seriously, help the girl, don't freak out with your assumptions, judgments, and personal opinions. I'll probably get flayed for this, but honestly, you're not making new people feel welcome, nor are you giving constructive crit. If you need a clarification, that's fine, but don't throw assumptions. Forum writing is difficult, especially when new and especially when stressed!   Most of the comment responses I've been seeing in most of the threads I would NOT classify as "help". Just rude. Simmer down, now.

  • *face palm*
    I'm new to posting on forums and I seem to be making this worse by not explaining myself right. 

    back to what holyguacamole79 said
    "don't let your desire to have a wedding look a certain way interfere with your desire & intent to honor your sister's relationship with you."

    To be Very Very Clear... I was just trying to say, i don't care what they look like, fat/thin/whatever their external appearance it doesn't matter to me (and for the record i think they're all beautiful just as they are and want them to be happy and comfortable).
    I was just trying to make that point and say that i'm not looking for that uniform photo magazine bridesmaid collection that some people go for.
    My sisters weight whatever it may be doesn't matter to me in the slightest (big or small). Only that she's there to share the experience with me on the day. Can i also point out that we're very similar size 12 and 14.
    Of course just sending it back would be a dick move. Which is why i ordered another one before i sent it back.
    I did overreact a little initially with the original post but its not about the dress in reality (i'm pretty resourceful and you can always sort stuff like that out).

    I think its more about the way shes behaving (totally accept i'm also at fault here btw), she kicks off, and then says about wanting to spend time together but its only on her terms, she doesn't message me and this was really going to be the first wedding thing we've done together since i got engaged 8 months ago (as we don't talk about it). I did ask her to be a BM so we could share the experience together so i felt the first time i ask her when she's free to do something related to it i get a big knock back.

    I consider myself a pretty understanding and laid back person generally so i feel if can meet people half way or do anything to make things right i will but if they don't tell me whats wrong/going on i cant do much about it and this was pretty much the focus of our argument from my side.

    Feel like i'm getting quite the negative slap down in this thread thus far but i can see how it comes across badly in the original posts and try and take what people say on board.

    Its all just silliness really. 
    This is what I mean. Seriously, help the girl, don't freak out with your assumptions, judgments, and personal opinions. I'll probably get flayed for this, but honestly, you're not making new people feel welcome, nor are you giving constructive crit. If you need a clarification, that's fine, but don't throw assumptions. Forum writing is difficult, especially when new and especially when stressed!   Most of the comment responses I've been seeing in most of the threads I would NOT classify as "help". Just rude. Simmer down, now.
    Thank you so much for saying this! 
    I honestly felt very 'under fire' throughout this entire thread with a lot of negative comments and assumptions and nothing helpful or supportive until your post. This was my first time posting on this site and honestly based on this experience i wouldn't do it again or recommend it to anyone. 


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